may i have your CARD!

several times a day, a patron will bring up items to be checked out. they will place them nicely on the desk and then...just stand there. sometimes, they say 'hi' and i'll say 'hi' back. they just stand there. so, after a beat, i ask them for their library card and they gasp and say something along the lines of, "oh, yes, you need my card." yep, i do. i'm sure i have moaned about this before, but it was particularly bad night for this. i MUST know, do these people stand at the grocery checkout and must be prompted by the cashier to cough up the dough?

then i had a nasty, large, bully of a woman come into the library tonight and demand a computer with a color printer. actually, first she asked for a 'computer color copier' and i had to figure out if she meant a color copier or a color printer. i told her that our two computers that have a color printer attached were being used by patrons and they had some time to go. she said, "i just need it for 2 minutes!" i told her i understood, but patrons were using the computers, they were guaranteed an hour and i would not bother them. she said, "i will go ask them. it's just 2 minutes! i need my paper for class! i have class!" then she asked me what i meant by 'patron'. i answered, "PEOPLE. people were using the two computers with a color printer!" she was so pushy and nasty and belligerent. i told her that she will NOT bother my patrons and she continued to yell that she needed papers for her class. finally, i sent her to reference and before she got there, i got ahold of the reference librarian and told her this lady was nasty and i know she heard me. i also asked the reference librarian to tell the lady there was a 50 cent per page charge for color copies and the woman yelled, "i will pay 10 DOLLARs! just give me my papers! i need them for Class tonight, right now!" i don't know how she got her papers, but she paid my cocircworker for them because she did not want to talk to me again. YAY! she really did think nothing of interrupting another patron, ask them to stop what they were working on (one kid was working on a school paper), ask them to get up and let her sit her fat ass down to do her own work. another patron who just checked on to a computer with no color printer offered to wait so she could use his computer (a nice young man), but it just made things worse becasue i had to tell the bully that that computer had only a black and white printer and she didn't BELIEVE me. like, i was lying. oh dear God, i hate people! why did you make so many nasty ones? (and why do the frequent libraries?)

i also had another woman who wanted to pick up a book that her friend put on hold. our policy is, if the person who the hold is for cannot make it in, they must call us to let us know who will pick it up. before my time, we had a very bad experience with a husband and wife...one picked up a book for the other which the other did not want his or her spouse to see. i heard that the fallout was very bad and the town got involved. so, we try to be strict(er) about this. anyway, the woman wanted to call her friend on her cell phone and have me use her phone to talk to her friend. i DO NOT want anyone's nasty, germ infested cell phone anywhere near my face, so i gave her the library # and asked her friend to call me. argh! it is never easy. then, the same woman returned a DVD with no DVD in the DVD case and i, luckily, caught her as she was leaving to give her the case back so she could collect the DVD. she asked, "so, this means i have to come back?" duh, yeah, unless you want to pay for the DVD outright. so, she came back before we closed. she gave me the complete DVD set and picked out two more DVDs and stepped up to the counter. she didn't have her card. it was in the car. so, since i knew her name from earlier, i just looked her up and checked her out rather than have her go to her car. this is another thing about cards i don't understand. if you know you are going to the library, if it is a planned trip, why do these people not make sure they have their cards on them? it's not that hard, is it?

we had a man come in to search our lost and found for his winter jacket that he lost "a couple of weeks ago." we had another man leave a printed (out) copy of his completed tax return (with every bit of personal info) in one of our printers. we had another kid leave his completed book report in the printer. the printers are right next to the computer, too. we could not reach either of them tonight. other than that, the night wasn't too bad, but i am getting increasingly worried about the switch. i really dread that.

Holy Rollers

if you need to be told what and who to pray for, you might want to check out this site. personally, i pray that we won't vote any more right-wing, fundamentalist nutcases into the White House.

www.presidentialprayerteam.com

yes, we live at the library

we had a cute little boy, who is a regular patron, visit us today. my cocircworker was checking him out when she said to him, "i saw you at the supermarket the other day." the boy looked a little puzzled and said, "you were at the supermarket? how can you be at the supermarket when you were HERE, at the liberry??" my cocircworker replied, "sometimes they let us go shopping." this appeased him. yes, we live at the library 24/7 and we get day passes to do our grocery shopping. sometimes, we even get a nap in the bookdrop bin.

one thing that has always puzzled me...why do some people come to the library every single day just to read one newspaper. we have an old creep who arrrives just after we open every day to read the Providence Journal. every single morning. if it's 9:01 and we haven't got the paper out yet, he comes to the desk and asks where it is. i make him wait until all the computers are up (they usually are but sometimes we are short staffed. tech is supposed to handle the papers, but if they are not in, we process the papers. also, technically, we only get paid from 9am, though we often...like every day...start opening up at 8:45 or 8:50. off the clock.) it's not like this guy is hurting for cash, either. hell, he can spend the gas money to come to the library every day to read a 50 cent newspaper. when it's 9:30, when the director finally gets her ass to work, not that she ever does any work, the man will walk right into her office, no knock or anything. i guess they are 'friends' which really creeps me out. she has a lot of old male friends. it's so gross. my director is younger than i am by a couple of years, but she has elderly male acquaintances.

another thing that pisses me off...everyone moans about our director. she's a BOSS, not a director. she's a micromanager that cannot keep her own office in order. she literally has paper dispersed on every surface and on the floor. there is food buried under mounds of old papers, mounds of paper and magazines on the two chairs in her office. it's embarrassing. anyway, this morning, two coworkers moaned about having to set up the directors one and only program. but then, come 10:30, these same people rush into the breakroom with her to have their break. WTF? of course, taking a break with the boss means you can stretch your 15 minute break to 30 minutes, so i guess there is an advantage. meanwhile, little circworkers cannot take our breaks because the staff room is full, no chairs or table space and no peace and quiet. so, we wait. same thing with lunch, only worse, because now we cannot use the microwave because everyone else is using it. yet, circstaff must finish lunches before 2pm or our circhead gets reamed by our boss who hogs the break room with the very same people who claim they do not even want to be near her. GRRRRR!

Fighting in the visiting room

well, not actual fist fighting, just a really loud bitch yelling, kicking and slapping her man. i could only hear her when she hollered, so i don't know what the fight was about but there were an awful lot of fuck you's coming out of her mouth. several times, she'd kick the guy under the table. she slapped his hands and arms and threw wadded up Hershey Kiss wrappers at him. there was an awful lot of finger pointing and slapping motions. and boy, could she bitch. a solid hour of nonstop bitchery. wow. now, this is somewhat unfair as the visitor really has all the power during a visit. the guy can't do anything without risking big trouble. so, he just sat there and took it. maybe he deserved it and maybe not, but she was nasty. Maniac Mike said that if i were to go nuts and start screaming, he would calmy ask me to leave and stand up...which ends the visit. once the inmate stands up, the visit is over. i can't think why i would scream at him, though.
there are a set of brothers who committed their sex crime TOGETHER and they are housed together (which is damn stupid). usually, their mom comes to see them and they visit with her, together. tonight, the long-haired brother got a visit from a woman that we have never seen before. they must have known each other well, because the kissed like a couple of leeches sucking off each other. and the poor woman was damn DAMN unattractive. she looked like a male impersonater. weird. then the creeps brother came out and had a visit with a couple we had never seen before. there were a lot of people in the visiting room that we had never seen before and the room hasn't been so full since Christmas. it was a really odd night.
MM spent a good deal of it telling me about last nights South Park and one of his favorite episodes with Timmy and his Turkey Gobbles. and he ate more Pop Tarts. if i never see another Pop Tart, it would be too soon.

Martha please, no more animals!

Martha Stewart, would you please stop featuring animals on your show! Maniac Mike saw an Irish Wolfhound on Martha this morning and now he wants one. i'll admit, it seems like a great dog, loving and friendly, and lazy at times. they are the tallest dogs in the world, HUGE really. they would easily take up most of a full size mattress. MM seems to think that an Irish Wolfhound would keep the coyotes from our (imaginary) goats and chickens but we both agree that any dogs we might have would not be left outside at night. he would live in the house, with us, always. besides, the goats and chickens would have a barn, right? and a fence around it.

the terrible downside would be that they are incredibly short lived. they are lucky to live ten years and the can be rife with health problems. it is hard to lose any pet, but especially hard when they die so young, like Queequeg. today would be his eighth birthday. he was a Polish-Irish-Italian American prairie dog. Polish because our family is Polish, Irish because he was born on St Patrick's Day and Italian because he loved my mother's lasagne. he would go into a kind of happy trance while eating it. then, when he was done, he would lift up and stretch out his little fingers so his auntie cold wash them for him. he did not like to be dirty.

staff training part 2

we had another morning of staff training yesterday. it was much more streamlined than the demonstration our circhead gave us monday. my cocircworker, who trained us thursday, actually had a nifty Power Point show and handouts! i still think the new system will drive us all to drink and possibly to an early grave. it is that terrible. awful. one of our patrons told us that the ladies in Cumberland were bitching and moaning about it. i cannot blame them. i bitch and moan about Millennium too, but i try not to in front of the patrons. this will probably change.

the best think about training in the morning was all the FOOD we brought in: bagels and homemade scallion cream cheese, walnut coffee cake, cookies and homemade lemon-honey muffins! OINK OINK

Waiting

WAITING

i enjoyed this movie. the party scenes weren't funny at all, but once the film moved into Shenaniganz, it picked up. i liked most of the cast though the guy who played the non-stop talker, Monty was annoying. he reminded me of an old boyfriend who kind of looked like him and talked like him. the Penis Game was gross. it was a game played among the guys. one guy would expose his penis, in any number of poses, and try to get another guy to look at it. if the other guy did look, the exposer got to kick the looker in the ass and call him a 'fag'. stupid.

don't bother with the special features. they are boring and the director is a dickhead and likes to wear a dickhead director's beret.

tri-cycle

had a visit today. had a little 'discussion' with another elderly woman with a fancy-smancy three wheeled walker with handbrakes and a basket, painted teal. i was a little late. as i walked by the Tricycle Lady, she was just getting out of her car parked in the handicapped spot. i walked from 3 rows away, but she must have thought i just got out of huge van also parked in a handicapped spot. she said, "did you put your handicapped sign up. i don't see it." er, "that's not my van", i replied and pointed. "because they may tow you if they can't see your sign." um, "that's NOT my car." i walk into the visiting check-in area and walk right up to the desk, because i'm late and there is no one else in line. Tricycle Lady rolls in behind me, "i worry sometimes that they won't see my sign and tow my car." i said, "they won't tow you." "do you have a handicapped sign on you license plate? they may not see that either." now i am a tad bit annoyed and told her a little too snippishly, "i am parked three rows back and i DO NOT have a handicapped sign!" then i totally ignored her. i told Maniac Mike what happened and he proceeded to tell me that her husband was a child molester and he overheard a conversation in the pill line last week. there is a One-Legged child molester in a wheelchair. he gets visits so i know who he is. MM says he is always telling lame jokes and all his child molester buddies think he's hilarious. seems Tricycle Lady's husband was pushing the One-Leggedf fucker one night and they were in the pill line in front of MM. they were talking about the fact that they will not be registered as sex offenders in RI because of the law that states that they would not have to register if they committed their crimes before 1992. MM said that they were gleeful and clearly happy about this. MM was disgusted. RI just coddles sex offenders, we have one person registered as a sex offender in the whole state and i don't even know how to find that information. one person. there are hundreds in prison. baby rapers, sicko perverts and violent rapists. what the fuck is wrong with this state?

so, i am not sorry i was snippy with the Tricycle Lady. if you support a child rapist, you are just as guilty.

MM also told me of the day the One Legged freak asked MM to push him back to the mod after a visit. he said, "i don't help child molesters" and he walked away while the One-Legger's mouth gaped.

high blood pressure

tuesday, my blood pressure was a little high. that's unusual for me. it is usually low. this would have nothing to do with the fact that we have two staff training days this week, we will be using a new system at the end of the month, our current system is dying everyday night around the delivery and the busiest time of the day or that we have no contract inspite of what a town administrator was quoted as saying in the paper. our director is also pushing for us to work 35 hours a week instead of 32...it has been that way since time immemorial. i bet she will push for that, but then we would push for more sick time and persoanl time and she won't give us that. three more hours a week does not seem like much, but if i take my three weeks of vacation, that would be nine extra hour used for vacation time.

i think it should be written in the contract that she should get off her ass and actually do some work. and the circ staff are NOT her secretaries. she has one. i swear, if she tells me to 'take a message' one more time because she does not want to talk to somebody (vendors, mostly) i will throw the phone at her.

kids and non-parents

wednesdays are Book Buddies days. little kids come in to have bigger kids read to them from 4pm to 5pm. it is complete pandamonium. i don't know how anyone can hear anyone else. the kids run around like a bunch of monkeys and the parents are no better. does anyone ever use their library voice anymore? the trouble is the children's room is right next to the circ desk. there is a half wall partition and that's it. we can see and hear everything that goes on in the childrens room. we could see our poor, abused fill-in childrens librarian rolling her black rimmed, weary eyes at us and we could only give her our sympathy. she does not hold this program. the teen advisor does. oh, how we would all love to have a closed and separate childrens room. we would gladly give our pound of flesh apiece for it.

then, at 6pm, we had yet another childrens program in the meeting room. the meeting room and our staff break room are separated by a door. we can hear everything that goes on in the meeting room. i ate my dinner to the sounds of a really lame, kiddie dinosaur movie. it was so freakin' loud, i could not hear myself chew. then the movie ended and the shrieking began. why must kids SHRIEK! we also had three kids in the childrens room playing a computer learning game. they were so loud, they could be heard everywhere in the library. they were told to please use their library voices (ie: shut up!) three times, right infront of their equally loud and gabby and oblivious non-mothers. AAARGH!

and, of course, we had the middle school teens. they weren't so bad today.

if we had a director who was not afraid to direct, we would not have teens and kids running around the library, screaming. we would not have 2, 3, 4 year old kids wandering (and screaming) all around the library because their non-parent was using the computer in the main library, not paying any mind to their kid. the other day we had two little kids, could not have been over 4 years old, walking around the childrens area, wimpering. the teen advisor asked them where their mom or dad was and they said, "Rachel!! waaaaaah!" seems their twent-something babysitter was using the computer as far away from them as she could get. when the teen advisor told her the kids could not be left on their own, she huffed and gave us all the stink-eye. i would have LOVED to have called her employer and ratted her out. i would have LOVED that!

i am also so sick of the parents who drop their tiny kids off in the kids room and then go off into the library, looking for books and videos without a clue as to what their kids are doing or who might be eyeing them (for nefarious reasons). do they think we will mind their kids? do we look like a babysitting service? do they WANT theirr kids to be hurt or kidnapped? what is wrong with these parents??? i am dumbfounded by thier behavior. dumbfounded. i want to pull every one of them aside and tell them about all the child molestors in prison and how easy it is to have a child go missing. i want to scare the shit out of them.

but i can't. i really don't like kids or babies but if any child gets hurt while i'm on duty, i will feel awful and guilty for not having ESP and eyes in the back of my head to watch all these kids. and you know the parent will blame us anyway.

all you mommies...you better not let me catch you typing in your mommie blog while your teeny tiny child is loose in the library. you just better NOT!

Hinoserm: contact your mom.

i haven't heard from Hinoserm in a long time and it would be really nice if he gave me a call provided he fixed his cell phone. he sat on it and broke something off. or something. or email me. i just want to know if you are alright.

love,

mom

full moon tuesday

nothing of any consequence happened today inspite of the full moon. apparently, the morning crew got all the crazies. we had an easy night. even the stinky couple smelled less stinky than usual.

i forgot i had a visit with the doctor today, so good thing the receptionist called me last night to remind me. so, this morning i had to call work to let the director know. but the director was taking a phone call, so i spoke with the assistant director. she said she would tell the director. she forgot. that would explain why the director had no clue what i was talking about when i thanked her for letting me keep my appointment. i really do like this doctor...Waseem Khan, a rheumatologist at Landmark (Fogarty). he treats me for my fibro and for the erythromelalgia. he was able to get my pain under control and he has no problem giving me pain meds as long as i see him regularly. he always has some library question for me, too as he does visit our library occasionally. this time, he wanted to know about requesting books from Providence library. if you live in northern RI and need a good rheumatologist or a good psychiatrist, i can give you a couple of phone numbers. it is so hard to get a good doctor now-a-days.

currently reading

a family abuction tale. the husband and wife are married to extraterrestrials that frequently abduct them and their 3 kids. this couple coupled with their alien spouses to produce 10 more halfbreed kids. a true story. ahem.

staff training part 1

we had staff training today. we are getting a new system...the second in two years. i just started learning the shortcuts to this current system and now they want to teach this old dog a new damn trick! the new system is HORRIBLE! it is confusing and you have to close every single window after every single use. you cannot be in the same record at the same time...ANYWHERE in RI. so, if some circclerk in Providence leaves a patron's record open, we cannot also use that record. we had this problem in our oldest system (DYNIX) and it was something we fixed with the Horizon (current) system. i think we are going live with Millenium on the 27th but only to checkout. we will not be able to checkin, place holds or anything else for TWO WHOLE DAYS! i have stocked up on my tranquilizers, Prevacid and Tylenol. i will start drinking on the 25th so i will be totally sloshed by the 27th. i wouldn't know what i was doing sober, so why NOT drink? most of us are worried but resolute. we are circ, we can do anything! but patrons beware: we WILL take our frustrations out on YOU. heheheheheheheheheheheheh!

so, we were closed from 9 unti 11:30 this morning. we had this info in all the local papers, posted all over the library, on our board outside, on the IN and OUT side of our front doors and we printed out little slips of paper, bookmark size, that we slipped in the items patrons checked out for over two weeks. plus, we told everyone who did checkout. we told patrons who took out DVD's that they could not go in the bookdrop and we would be charging fines for that day...we were only closed 2 and a half hours after all. well, at 11:30 and 10 seconds i got my first whiney patron. "my daughter is sick. she was here earlier and you were closed. she put her DVDs in the bookdrop. will she be (whine) FINED?" er, YES! "but she's (whine) SICK!" too sick to read the flyers posted everywhere but on our foreheads. YES, YES, YES, if you put DVDs in the bookdrop whether you are sick or not, we will charge you a fine! so, what did i do? i didn't charge a fine on any freakin' DVD because we all figured it would just lead to a big, fat headache later on. sigh.

Peter Pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew is getting married. yes, way! we have a Peter Pettigrew look-a-like patron. he's small, round, with weird facial hair, horrible bad breath and a rat-like appearence. the secretary was kidding him about his nearing wedding date. all i could think was "eeeewwww". i am dying to know what his future bride looks like. PP is never rude, always pleasant but he looks so much like a character. not quite human. he is a daily computer user, so he has no computer. or he has a computer but does not want wifey to see what he's doing or he takes very long lunch breaks at all times of the day. y'know, this is petty, but i wouldn't marry a guy who couldn't afford his own computer. nope.

currently burning

Storm Watch Yankee Candle

Big Ass gives us 'flowers'

Mr Big Ass gave the ladies at circ flowers today for being so nice and helpful. no, not real flowers. tissue paper flowers. flowers he made himself with his big, grungy, bandaid ridden hands. at first, we thought they were made out of toilet paper. shiver. they were just crepe paper, scrunched into a semi-floral shape, wrapped with green florist tape on silver wire stems. bizarre. men are so weird. big, stinky ass men are even weirder. like this would be enough to thank us for his many visits, stinking up the computer chairs (cloth..bad idea!), blowing his foul breath in our faces, flashing his brown spotted and torn underwear and generally making us gag. no, it is nowhere near enough. but atleast he didn't BAKE us anything.

oh, God. i just made myself puke.

will the real Colin please stand up!

here's Colin Firth. he ain't no Josh! what the tech ladies see in him...well, i cannot see it. they swoon and tell me he is sooo romantic. blech. who needs romance. what ever happened to a quick roll in the hay? he just does not look rollable.

apology accepted

the kid who caused such a stink over the computers and was banned for life came in today and personally apologized to the circworker who took the brunt of his tantrum and the director. wow. he's like 14 and it must've been really hard for him to do that. he admitted he was wrong, that he had a temper and should not have sassed or threw his backpack. so, the director has reinstated his card and has told him if there are no more problems, all will be forgiven. i give the kid major kudos. he was sincere.

banned for life!

yesterday, we banned two kids from the computers. one was banned 'for life' (which means 'until his mommy comes in and complains about it'. good. we NEED to speak to his mommy.) he had 2 previous bans, the third is for good. then he had a tantrum and threw his backpack across the room. i would have called the police but the director is such a wuss. the second kid got kicked off for 2 weeks for game-playing. this was his second banning.

had a kid i've never seen before come in to the library after school. he asked if he could use the phone for 10 minutes. 10 minutes?! he started to tell me what was wrong...he had a project due at school (which is right across the parking lot) and he needed to talk....that's when i cut him off. "no, sorry. you must use the phone at the school." he protested that he didn't have a quarter. "the school will give you a quarter". he huffed and went away. who would think that we would let anyone use the phone for ten minutes? please!

wrong Colin

i had the wrong Colin. it was not Collin Farrell that tech is in love with, but Colin Firth. still, don't care for either. as soon as i can get Blogger to load pictures (what's up with that?), i'll post his pic here.

nothin' special

it was a Nothin' Special kind of day. work was busy. had a long visit. spent most of it talking about South Park. Maniac Mike filled me in on what happened during the Oscars. i tried not to yawn. i just don't find the Oscars the least little bit interesting. i am glad March of the Penguins won for best documentary, though. we didn't make fun of anybody as there were a lot of normal folk there today. White Boot Lady bought herself a new pair of Nikes. wow! i hope she has thrown those godawful white boots away. i got home around 9pm, took my shower and now i am ready to read before i go to bed. i'm drinking a Watermelon Soda from Panera Bread. i bought it saturday, dropped it and decided it would be best to wait before opening it. forgot about it yesterday and just found it again tonight. i opened it and the damned thing exploded. you would think it would have settled by now. i also have some banana flavored cotton candy, so i'll munch on that while i read. i'm burning a Yankee Candle Storm Watch votive. YC will stop selling unwrapped votives. that's usually what i buy. i like the unwrapped ones. they are bigger and cheaper. they also no longer have chocolate candles. those were good to light for healing animals. brown is the color to use and chocolate is a positive scent. oh well, nothing good ever lasts. sigh.

question

do you prefer Ben & Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs?

*hic*Haagen-Dazs*hic*

i was sitting around eating the last fourth of a pint of Haagen-Dazs Pineapple Coconut ice cream, thinking about how good it is and how much it tastes like a Pina Colada when i read the ingredients:
"Cream, Skim Milk, Sugar, Pineapple, Egg Yolks, Natural Coconut Flavor, Natural Flavor, Rum."

that's right. RUM. so, it was a pina colada i was eating after all. and i feel so warm and toasty and *hic* a little swimmy. where's that lampshade?

PS: Maniac Mike thinks pineapple-coconut ice cream is gross. he is so weird sometimes.

Broccolli home again

Broccolli was sent home today without any real diagnosis. an ecocardiogram is recommended and he does need a dental cleaning but he can't be put under anasthesia until heart problems are ruled out. once he got home, he ate like he was starving and licked his little toy "babies". he had a whole lot of water, too. he was not happy about the IV bandage, but we had to wait two hours until removing it. my sister went out ot get him some deli ham and catfood. i haven't got another emergency call since i've been home, so i guess he has settled down. i think i did see him twitch a few times, but no one else really saw it but me.

i am at the tail end of a migraine so i think i will lay down for an hour or so, then i hope to read some. i am 100 pages into Narcissus In Chains now. Micah has been introduced and Richard is being as asshole. i really do not like Richard. i may also have some coconut/pineapple ice cream but i really want some cotton candy.

cow abduction site

check this out...http://www.cowabduction.com/

Broccolli is sick

today, i had to rush my mom's cat Broccolli to the vet. the vet does not know for sure what is wrong with him. low blood pressure but no heart problem, no diabetes, no renal failure, no infection, no liver disease. they think he is having a neurological problem, possibly a stroke. so, he is overnighting at the emergency hospital with an IV in ICU. he just collapsed, kind of, today while i was at my mom's house. he just looked really, really tired and could not move well. he was alert and knew where he was and who we were, but he was very lethargic. hopefully, the vet will know more tomorrow and hopefully he will be treated and feeling better. he is around 19 years old. we don't know for sure because he was adopted. my mom has had him for 10 years now. we all hope he will be alright! we are saying kitty prayers for him!

Lent and work candy

Forty days of hell. i have not had a good Lent for a few years now. i always "give in". this year, i have given up coffee. again. last year, i think i made it 22 days before i gave in. i used to be so good during Lent when i was younger. i would give up chocolate and not take one lousy bite of anything with any kind of chocolate in it. then, as i got older, i would give up chocolate with exemptions. brownies didn't count. hot chocoalte didn't count. if i felt sick, i could have chocolate. on Sunday, i could have chocolate. full moon? chocolate. if the day ended in Y...chocolate!

so, once again, i give up coffee. it's the second biggest temptation at work. the first is candy of all sorts. i will not give up work candy. i rarely eat it at home but i will happily make a pig of myself at work.

i also promised not to eat meat on fridays. well, guess what happened today? i went to the market and bought some shrimp for supper tonight...today being friday. then i totally forgot i bought shrimp, totally forgot it was friday and stopped at Wendy's for chicken nuggets. grrrrrrr. yes, i ate the damn nuggets! i didn't want to waste them. right. that's what i tell myself.

WORK CANDY

WORK CANDY is not like any candy i would buy for myself (alone). for instance, i would not buy a 2 pound bag of gummy bears for myself, but i buy them for work. ditto for the mega box of Swedish Fish, the Whitman's box of chocolate, the 5 pound box of Twizzlers, and the bags and bags of assorted Hershey and Nestle Chocolates, the packs and packs of Doublemint and Wintermint gum, the Altoids (Ginger, Wintergreen and Peppermint) and any left over on-sale holiday candy, especially if it's chocolate. WORK CANDY can be found in several places, the biggest stash being behind the circ desk. we have a huge crate of it under the third computer, right under the applications and beside the bandaids and pills. then there is the MegaBowl on the secretaries desk. tech services has a little canning glass jar of (mostly good) chocolates and the computer librarian has a small container on her desk. there is the staff table, too. i don't know what reference has but i'm sure they have a small stash of their own. when children's room staff want candy, they must come to circ and bow down to us, the Candy Goddesses. there can never be too much candy! i am looking forward to the day after Easter...all that marked down half-priced candy! just like Halloween. after Halloween, we all brought in our leftover candy and i swear, when we pooled it, we had a mound almost a foot tall. and we ate every last bit of it! *BURP*

new Fort

the new Fortean Times is the bookstores now. included are Gothic Nightmares: Britain's art heritage of horror, new news of the Malaysian Yeti, Re-engineering the Lost Ark of the Covenant, Italy's satanic ritual killers and the usual fortean (cool) stuff. it's an expensive mag, but it's all glossy and you cannot find anything like it anywhere. i love the book reviews, Strange Deaths, Simulcra Corner, letters, and the Strange Days section at the front. it is the only magazine i read cover to cover, not missing a bit of it. i even read the ads. $10.

new Laurell K Hamilton novel

LKH has a new novel out...Micah. Anita goes off to Philly to raise a dead witness for the feds. Micah goes along. i have not yet 'met' Micah. i thing he makes his first appearance in Narcissus in Chains...the 10th novel. Micah is a wereleoapard and King of his pard. apparently, he and Anita do the wild thing in Narcissus, according to Maniac Mike. she has been such a PRUDE in all these books and MM says she finally sluts it up in Narcissus. FINALLY!

collin vs josh

okay ladies...we have a contest. several of the ladies at my library LOVE Collin Farrell. he is plastered on the door of tech services where he is ooohhhed and aaaahhed over. blech!

scroll down to Josh Holloway...now that is a hunkarooni.

so, who do you prefer...Collin or Josh?

i really want to know.

kitty cat dance video

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kittycat.php

time for new undies!

this is the last one. i can take no more!

triple dipple sigh

helpless! i am helpless!

double sigh

oh God, please help me!

sigh

yum yum yum

several hunky pics of Josh Holloway

oooo-laaa-laaaa!

weird

try this weird website for weird pics.

http://www.weird-websites.com/WeirdPics.htm

oh, shit!

just a quick question. why do some people smell like shit? i don't mean that they have BO or other weird smells...a lot of other people have that. but some people smell like real shit. crap. doodoo. not kids in diapers...we have a lot of that, too. but older kids and grown adults. like tonight, we had a girl, maybe 12, come into the library to do some work. she smelled like warm shit. it was gross! we have two patrons with such foul breath that also smells just like shit. just their breath...like they ate shit for breakfast or something. so bad, that i must step way back from the desk when they speak. gross. i'd estimate that 4 or 5 people a week (not a high number, really) come in reeking of shit. this just puzzles me. do they not wipe? do they rub it on themselves? what? sheesh people, buy some Charmin!

Sigmund

here's a pic of Sigmund! he's a tiny one...maybe 4 or 5 inches tall at most. and his little shirt comes off.

Obsidian Butterfly

Obsidian Butterfly is the 9th book in the Laurell K Hamilton Anita Black Vampire Hunter series and it is the best so far. if you have never read any of her books, you can try this one and not be too lost. in this book, she goes to work with Edward to solve a mutilation murders case in New Mexico. i am 3/4's of the way through and i have already figured out what the murderer is only because i have some small knowledge of Meso American religion. but the book is fascinating and i like how she approaches the subject. i highly recommend this book for a good, action packed, quick read. and Edward...er...Ted...no...Edward is soooo cool. (Maniac Mike was right. he is a great character!)

Hino and i actually got to meet Laurell K Hamilton during her book tour, in an old church in Boston. i had not read any of her books back then, but went because she is MM's favorite author and i wanted to get some books signed and a photo with her to give to him. she was VERY gracious. the crowd asked great questions and she happily answered them. her husband was a sweetheart, too. i told LKH that she was my husbands favorite author but couldn't make it because he was in prison. she said prisoners were great fans and generally wrote thoughtful, kind letters. apparently, she has quite a male following for a female writer with a lead female character.

our penguin fetish started when MM sent me a little Sigmund penguin...a stuffed toy that Anita sleeps with when she is not bonking vampires and werewolves. he was my first penguin. i have about 200 different penguin items now that range from plushies to silver charms to Christmas ornaments to books and blown glass, given to me by MM, Hino, my sister and family, Queequeg, MM's mom and friends.

Hino named my 2 foot tall plastic penguin CP after Corporation Penguin in a Beatles song. all my stuffed ones have names, too. Ishmael, Billy Budd, Typee, Fiesta, etc. (we started with the Melville theme first because i had a prairie dog named Queequeg. ) i have so many, that i have to write the names on the tags so i don't forget them.

MM would love to have a pair of real live penguins one day and so would i, but i don't think that would be possible. but we think about it and it makes us happy. we both were able to see March of the Penguins and we both cried a little and laughed a lot. PENGUINS RULE! they are beautiful, kind, loving animals and we cannot look at any penguin without smiling. great antidepressants!

HV reminded me...

Happy Villan reminded me of one funny story that happened at the city library where i used to work. a cocircworker and i were behind the desk while our circhead was talking to a patron about the comuter usage in the Computer Room. she was vey pleasant and helpful. apparently, the gentleman could not get the site he wanted to load. our circhead gave him some info and then said, "if you can't get it up, i'll come over and help you." well we busted out laughing right then and their and both my circhead and the patron thought we were nuts. we ended up running to the back room to calm down. when we got back, red faced and teary-eyed, we repeated what our circhead said back to her and the look on her face when she realized what she said was pricelass. god, the things we say when we don't realize what we are saying!

listening to...

Cold Fire by Dean Koontz. excellent nailbiter. Jim Ironheart is a Lifeline for strangers that are about to die. he saves certain people from murder, drowning, etc and wants no reward or publicity. a reporter, Holly Thorn, becomes enamoured of this stranger and sets out to find him and find out his secrets. i have also listened to Odd Thomas, another Koontz book that i enjoyed tremendously. he has a sequel out now, Forever Odd, also featuring that most excellent character.

saturday at work

another workday saturday. only one day off, sunday. bummer. today we didn't do anything special. we just ordered out. we got our food from The School Street Cafe in Albion. we all went there for the christmas party. decent food. i got hte Calamari but i forgot that they load all this junk on it (olives, hot peppers, garlic butter). i was not happy. had to eat around the junk and it made the calamari extra hot.

what am i gonna eat next? Benn and Jerry's Cherry Garcia, naturally!

recommended

The Loch by Steven Alten. love his novels. this one is about the legend of Loch Ness and a family traditon. the action pumps and the characters are cool. a good, quick, easy interesting read. i love monster books and movies. check out the movie Incident at Loch Ness, too.

and still reading...

Area 51: The Mission by Robert Doherty. still reading the series. this episode takes place in the Bolivian rainforest. earth is being threatened by a resurgence of the Black Death...which, of course, was an alien infliction. everything and everyplace is "alien" made/built in these novels. apparently, we humans accomplished nothing without alien help. some ufologists believe this as well. i, for one, believe humans built the pyramids and were solely responsible for all the beautiful architecture and historical places and lost civilizations. (though, maybe the aliens had a 4 fingered hand at making us "lost). we have lost the technologies we once had. while we have newer technologies now, i don't think we, as a species, are more intelligent. we just have faster, smaller, gizmos and things. we still cannot replicate the Great Pyramid.

another in the queue

Blood Sucking Fiends by Christopher Moore.

coming up next...maybe

Jennifer Government by Max Barry. reviews, anyone?

also reading...going slowly

Vamped by David Sosnowki. slow going...not really into it. world overpopulated with vampires. vampire Martin Kowalski meets 5 year old human girl named Isuzu Trooper Cassidy. at first he wants to eat her, but then they form a relationship...don't know what kind. not that far into the book. so far, i find it boring.

also reading

Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison. I'm up to page 53 and it is excellent so far. Rachel Morgan, a bounty hunter witch tracks down supernatural fugitives...vamps, Weres, leprechauns, trolls, etc. aide by a "living" vamp and a pixie named Jenks. there are a couple more books in the series. loving it!

currently reading

Blue Moon by Laurell K Hamilton. an Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novel. this one begins with Richard (werewolf) being falsely arrested for rape.

more on Aruba

i've been thinking a little more about the Holloway abduction. i wonder how much tourism Aruba has lost due to this crime? Aruban citizens livelihoods are at stake, too. why should they suffer? and how do we KNOW that an Aruban committed the crime? what if Natalee was abducted by a vacationer? what if he is long gone by now? and have the chaperones and fellow students been totally ruled out? i am going to make a prediction. i think Natalee was harmed by someone she knew well...a fellow vacationer. she was harmed, the person freaked and she was either lost at sea or killed. the other scenario...a stranger, also visiting the island, is plausible in my eyes. why else would the abductor/killer be so hard to find?

question: would you still consider vacationing in Aruba? i would.

good news!

the Pope has given his blessing. it is okay to eat corned beef and cabbage on St Patty's Day (also Queequeg's B'day). whew. boy was i worried there...thought it was gonna be tuna for me that friday. um hum. right. and he isn't even Irish!

Aruba, enough already!

this is going to sound heartless...just thought i'd mention that right off. some may be terribly offended and i certainly don't want to hurt anyone close to this story. here goes...

i am tired of hearing about Natalee Holloway. a teen goes off to a sunny, temping isle, fools around, maybe drinks a little, maybe plays with boys and goes missing. it is a sad story. if i were her parents, i would do just what they are doing. but listen...CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc....there are thousands of missing children in this country! what of them? it seems we only have time for the blue-eyed blondes, the perky, white young women. what about black and hispanic and asian missing kids? what about the runaways that are used and abused daily in this country? what about the prostitutes who are butchered, the welfare mom's that are murdered and dumped and never heard from again? what about missing teenage BOYS? seems we only hear about teen boys when they shoot up a school. why don't you give the parents of the less fortunate a voice?

if your child is missing, i pray that they are young (but not too young), white (the blonder, the better) and from a wealthier (atleast upper middle class) family, otherwise, you will never have Dr Phil in your court. Fox will not show your teary eyes on their news channel. nope. you are on your own and you'll be lucky if Kinkos will even give you a discount for running off Missing Child flyers.

and to Natalee's mom...yes, your daughter might have went off with a boy or two, had a drink, maybe gambled, disobeyed chaperones and generally acted like a teenager without parents around to mess with her fun. IF IF IF she did these things, they are normal. Normal. any of these would not make her a bad person. so, stop trying to tell us she was an ANGEL, practically Laura Ingalls Wilder. she was just an average, normal, curious teenage girl. and not everyone on that island is guilty, either. not every boy was out to get your daughter. my sister has been to Aruba. it is beautiful. the people are friendly. how long can we smeer such a beautiful place and the people who live there?

i just had to write this. CNN was making me crazy!

Quiet Please!

if you have never read Aimee Bender's The Girl in the Flammable Skirt, give it a whirl. there is one story, her first, i think, about a nympho librarian entitled Quiet Please. she has two new collections of short stories out. i am in the Clan queue as we speak.

also, i just found out that my nephew has kidney stones. i'll take gallstones over kidney stones any day! my psychiatrist told me about his kidney stone problem....basically, he said he was attending a doctor's conference and he was in his hotel room when he passed out from pain. scared the crap (and, apparently, a kidney stone) right out of him. he is a totally unflappable guy, too. my nephew has a 2mm sized stone left to pass and we have all been telling him horror stories. he is terrified of doctors and hospitals as it is, so we are not being really helpful. whatever happens, i hope it is soon and quick.

how do i know my doc is unflappable? when i told him i thought i was being visited by aliens, he didn't even blink. he just gave me stronger meds! yay! meds! (okay, the meds aren't JUST for the alien problem...but they sure do work well as a deterrant.)

how much for Enya?

senior citizen, female, came up to the circ desk and handed my cocircworker an Enya music CD. she said she enjoyed it and wanted to know if we would sell it to her and at what price. er. my coworker said she was sorry, it was not for sale. besides, it was from another library.

this type of thing has happened roughly half a dozen times since i've been at this library. most of the time, patrons want to buy books. often the will say something like, "well, it is old. i thought you might not need it any longer."

so, we are now Rent-To-Own?

whippet

can you believe this? y'know the dog show whippet, ViVi who got loose at the airport in NY? well, she is not the first. she is the fourth THIS MONTH!!! what the hell? why are these airlines losing all theses animals? it is stressful to travel with animals. when we brought cats from here to Hawaii and back again, those were nail biter flights. if they would've lost my cats, we all would have killed somebody. so how can this keep happening?

www.gothamist.com/archives/2006/02/18/missing_whippet.php

postage, anyone?

when i walked into work at 2pm today, i was greated by my frazzled coworkers from every department (except the director, of course). every one of them told me the day was hell. HELL. the director told us all last week we would be 'dead' so start training for the new system. right.

i walked in on a weird transaction. seems this one patron, a female oddball who wears this god awful fur hat with earflaps and a chin tie, wanted to buy a couple of Book Sale books for 25 cents each but she had no money. we have a loose policy about book sale...if you don't have the money with you, we will hold the books for you for 3 days, just like we hold patron's reserved items. we will not 'run a tab' by adding the amount of the books to their library card. one has nothing to do with the other. this woman did not want to come back. she wanted the books NOW. she asked if she could 'put it on my tab' (patrons also try to use this method for printouts and they say the same thing. like we are a bar. i see no liquor here. we took care of that a long time ago. *hic*). so, we tell her, again, that we will be glad to hold the books and then she asks, with a straight face, "will you take a stamp for them?" my cocircworker cocked her head and said, "um...a postage stamp?" so, this is the first thing i hear and i start quietly chuckling. yes, the woman wanted to pay for two books with postage stamps. the answer was NO. when the woman walked away, my coircworker shrugged up her shoulders and said, "what the hell am i supposed to do with a stamp".

now honestly, REALLY. i think this people think these things up and test their wacky ideas on us (before going to Dunkin Donuts, for instance, and trying to buy a bagel with stamps. hey, if it works at the library, it would fly anywhere).

dream message

last night, in a dream, i got a message from an alien (not the usual grays) posing as a human. the message was...Lourdes: The Center of the Galaxy. i have no idea what it means. no wait! i think it may mean that i need more medication. yeah. that's it!

what? you want coffee with that?

i did get to Starbucks today after our visit. i went to one in another town, not the usual one down the street. i was looking at the board, wondering if i should try something different when the cashier lady asked me if she could help me. i said, "i just need one minute, thanks though." she then said, loudly and snottily, "can i help you?!" whoa lady. so, i got flustered and resorted to my regular. i ordered, "a grande cafe latte with extra sugar, please" the cashier said, "a mocha latte with a triple shot. okay." what? WHAT!? i felt like i walked into the twilight zone of Coffeeland. then another lady scooted up and said it was okay and corrected the cashier. that's when i noticed the rather large, clear hearing aid in the cashiers ear. okay. i got it. fine. but then the cashier said to me, "you want sugar? we don't put the sugar in the coffee here." er. the other lady said that she would put in the sugar if i wanted them to. er. yes, please. she mentioned that customers usually put in their own sugar. oh. i didn't realize that. i told her that at MY Starbucks (like i own one) they just add in the sugar and have never said anything to me about it. Jeeeezus. i pay four fucking dollars for a coffee...please don't make a fuss about adding sugar! so then, the cashier piped up and said, "the customers add the sugar." YES. I HEARD THAT THE FIRST TIME and the other lady scooted over and apologized (not that i wanted an apology. no biggie, really. just shut the deaf girl up already.)

so, i'm wondering how many orders potentially get fucked up by the cashier. i can understand that she has trouble hearing but did she also have to be so damned obnoxious? the other lady seems to be the rescuer...or the enabler...correcting her and apologizing to the coffee hounds. i'm going to go there again just to see what happens. it's about time i stirred up some trouble.

Professor Quirrell

not quite right...if his head were smaller, balder and creepier, he's look more like the inmate version. also, the inmate as thinner lips.

either one or the other

Karen Allen






crazy Lois Lane looked more like Karen Allen.




Margo Kidder (in better days)

underpants gnome

this is the Underpants Gnome from South Park. the Underwear Gnome looks just like this, only scuzzier and minus the beard. actually, put the beard on his head, then he'd look more like the Underwear Gnome.

visit

short visit. Maniac Mike has been back on his Poptart kick for over a week (of visits) now. today, i ate one. a whole one. it was gross but oddly pleasing. easy on the teeth.

well, i finally saw the Underwear Gnome (convicted of kiddie porn) stand up against the board (where inmates hang their badges) today. he is not quite a midget, but not tall enough to be called short, either. when the inmates were being patted down before joining the visitors, MM heard a guard ask the Gnome if he jsut rolled out of bed. he looked like he had never washed his hair, ever, and his clothes were way more wrinkled than anything i have ever worn to work. he is just so creepy. all the Chesters are creepy...every single one LOOKS like what you would expect a Chester to look like. now i know child molesters can be found anywhere in the population and they can be anybody and not every one of them looks odd or scuzzy or creepy. but, it just seems like all these Chesters who get visits ARE odd, scuzzy or creepy.

we also saw Professor Quirrell. his mullet headed girlfriend is always visiting. really, he looks more like Voldemort's bald head that writhed out of the back of Quirrell's own head. this guy had a tiny bald head. really small, totally hairless. no eyebrows that i can see. his head is so small that i wonder if he might've ran into some headhunters. his girlfriend's head is twice as large as his. weird.

then Lois Lane showed up. she's new. she came to see The-Guy-Who-Talks-To-Himself. he is a total wack job. he will sit at one of the tables in the rec room all by himself and carry on long, detailed conversations. he'll even ask questions, then answer himself. i saw him for the first time today, though i have been hearing about him for a long time. when he was sitting alone while Lois Lane got up to get something out of the vending machines, he started talking to himself. when she left and he sat alone, he talked to himself. Lois Lane looked exactly like Karen Allen...the woman who played Lois in the Superman movies with Christopher Reeves. i think that's her name. she's crazy now...didn't they find her naked in some bushes once, with no teeth or something? well, this woman was the spitting image of the crazy Karen Allen.

it's always a party in the visiting room. you never know who will show up!

Edit: i think Margo Kidder is the actress i'm thinking of. they look exactly the same. which one went crazy? now i think it must be Kidder. any info would help.

fuck off, Dr Howdy!

someone signed me up for the totally asinine Thoughts and Humour by Howdy newsletter. who ever did this, you had better NEVER sign me up for ANYTHING ever again! the freakin' moron, Dr Howdy, left a weird poem-thing as a comment on one of my blog posts. do not click on his profile...this may have automatically signed me up, if someone else didn't do it. i don't know how these things work, but this is totally unwanted. what can i do about it other than unsubscribing? and who the hell calls ITself Dr Howdy? listenening to too much Twisted Sister? watched the Exorcist one too many times? this has really fucked up my afternoon.

okay, so now i HATE:

James Frey

Ulli Lommel

AND

Dr Howdy

sending waves of hatred....oooooo....aaaaaaa......wwwwhhhhaaaaammmmooooooo!

getting some really good hate here.

what i have vs what i want

what i want is a Grande Cafe Latte with extra sugar from Starbucks. what i have is a store-brand suisse mocha naturally and artificially flavored instant coffee beverage. i could have the Starbucks coffee if i wasn't too lazy to go out on my one day off (off work/no visits). and it's cold outside. and i'd have to get out of my pj's.

what i want is a baked chicken dinner with all the fixin's. what i have is a can of Bush's Maple Cured Bacon baked beans. oh, wait. i can't have the beans because my hand held can opener broke. damn. guess i'll have to settle for the Bagel Bites. but i really wanted the beans.

have you ever been hungry for something decent to eat, but all you have in the house is weird canned goods, old hard candy and fudgicles? have you ever just stood around in your kitchen hoping that by some crazy magic, the food you are craving will appear out of thin air? have you ever opened and reopened your cupboards and fridge a thousand times looking for the one thing you want that you just might have missed the 40th time you looked? well, that's what i have been doing.

i really should go out and get some food.

good movie, Great Saint

here is a movie endorsed by the Vatican, no less! Therese: the true story of Saint Therese of Lisieux. beautifully filmed, lovely score and the sets and costumes were fantastic. the acting was so-so. if i had not already read The Story of a Soul, St Therese's autobiography, i would not have really known what was going on. this movie was made for Catholics, so i presume the filmaker believed his audience would already be familiar with St Therese.

i would recommend reading A Story of a Soul to Catholics and all people looking for a closer relationship with God. Therese believed in the Little Way, becoming a saint through small and lovingly given sacrifices. she truly is a marvelous person and powerful saint. she promised to send a shower of roses from heaven and she has and continues to do so. this is why she is called The Little Flower. she is the most popular saint of our times, canonized in 1925 and made a Doctor of the Church in 1997 by Pope John Paul in a beautiful Vatican ceremony a few years ago.

www.theresemovie.com for movie info.

www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=105 for info about St Therese.

awful movie

Ulli Lommel's Green River Killer is probably the worst movie i have ever seen. the film quality is no better than my didital camera, the cast is scuzzy, the lead actor cannot act his way out of a paper bag, the locations are crap, and i actually WANT the slutty actresses to die...quickly. if you are into very soft s&m porn then you might find this film a tad bit interesting...if you don't fall asleep first.

in the first kill scene, you can watch an ugly woman (soon to be a victim) take a dump. *yawn*

Ulli Lommel not only directed but wrote this piece of trash. there is barely any dialogue...so he didn't have to write much.

now i have someone to hate more that James Frey...it is Ulli Lommel!

Gil's All Fright Night Diner

"GIL'S ALL FRIGHT DINER is one of the funniest books I've ever read and I was truly sorry to see it end. My one solace is that with this review I might share some of that wonderful experience with others. Pick this one and I guarantee by the time you finish it, you'll be writing to thank me. So ahead of time, you're welcome."

review from www.paperbackbazaar.com.

i finished the book this morning. an excellent, quick (too quick), enjoyable read. i recommend it to anyone who likes the comically absurd. my favorite part of the book (and there are many) is the evil spirit possessed Magic 8 Ball that likes to watch Bonanza. oh, and the spectral little dog was cute. Earl may be a skinny, shy vamp but i think he is adorable. this is my first edition to the:

punk penguin book club

oprah, eat your heart out!

my new blog

a certain Cute website has not been so cute recently choosing to publish pictures of *gasp* humans. so, i have a little blog with pictures of cute animals. you will NEVER see a human being on this cute blog.
www.cuteasapenguin.blogspot.com

visit

we haven't much felt like making fun of people in the visiting room for awhile. we are both a little depressed and achey and just not much fun. it's weird how we often feel exactly the same. we tried to make fun of the 400 pound Xena Warrior princess and Fred Mertz's evil twin. he's an old man who wears the exact same clothes to every visit. he wears his pants up as high as his chest, like Fred Mertz. he has the most god awful ugly bright blue and white sneakers ever made. he's a strange little troll of man, but quiet and harmless enough. he visits a sex offender. we had sat behind them and the damn inmate talked loudly throughout the entire visit. some of the stuff he talked about was creepy. first, he told Fred about the crazy pedophiles who had all sorts of mental problems and were on all sorts of mental drugs and had classes and on and on. he said that they needed the drugs (which he named) because they kept them from going after little kids. er. so, i think this guy knows a little too much about Chesters. then he begins to talk about polygamy and how it is legal in Utah and how young thirteen year old girls were forced to marry older men. i looked at him and he was GLEEFUL. totally having a grand time talking about this in great detail. then he starts to talk about men in the bible and how they had multiple wives and then he began talking about Muslim men being promised 21 Virgins when they die (i thought it was 70 but i could be wrong). so, the entire time this supposed non Chester was talking to Fred, it involved girls and women and men who 'own' them. fucker.

the other thing we thought was pretty sad was all the young children who come in to visit dads or uncles. what really freaks me out is that these kids know their dad's inmate number. when they step up to the guard at check-in, the mom will say something like, "go ahead, tell them daddy's number". the kid rattles it off in a proud voice. how sad is that? what kind of life must they have?

anyway, that's all i have. oh yeah...Hino, call home!

dreams

i have had a couple of co-alien dreams. these are the kinds of dreams i had when i was having my alien experience(s) several years ago. they involve dinosaurs and phones.

the the night before yesterday, i dreamed i was being chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. then, i believed that the T Rex was actually my mother transformed. then i saw that my mother was actually in a compartment in the leg of the beast. then, i woke up feeling both scared and stupid.

last night, i had one of the most frightening reoccurring dreams...not being able to use the phone to call for help. last night, it was a cell phone. i don't know why i was trying to get help. i just knew i was terrified and needed help. at first, the phone was normal but i couldn't get my fingers to work the numbers. then, i could press the numbers, but they fell off when i pressed them. then i got a signal but no one was there. then the phone broke open and then it began to disintergrate in my hand. i woke up in a sweat and slept with the light on the rest of the night. i don't know what it will be tonight but fluffy little bunnies would be nice!

why can't i read

currently listening to Black Creek Crossing by John Saul. i do not like the performer, but the story is good. features a haunted house, a mysterious cat and a grimoire (so far). the story revolves around two misfit teens, Seth and Angel. Angel and her pious mom and alcoholic, no good dad move in to a haunted house and weird things start happening to Angel.

also on the third book in the Area 51 series. they are soooo poorly written but they are an easy, quick read and, of course, they feature UFO's and alien stuff.

i have been forcing myself to read. i have been really depressed lately and i've been shaking every day and i feel like a load of shit is bearing down on me. i think i am having exhaust issues with the car, i am going to owe money this tax season, Hino is away and i am worried, and i can't seem to save any money. three of my teeth have been hurting so bad, i can only eat soft, lukewarm food and i am petrified of going to the dentist. i have dream after exhausting dream and i have woken up with that awful foreboding feeling that someone is in my room. i sleep with the lights on half the night. on top of it all is this empty feeling of inadequacy. i don't know how to do things and i don't know how to handle things. the only place i feel adequate is at work but i need to tranquilizers to even get to work.

anyway, about reading. reading is my most favorite thing to do...or, it used to be. it relaxed me and made me forget for awhile. i love bios, memoirs and nonfiction, but i will read my favorite novelists, too. i used to be able to read 3 or 4 books a week, easily and remember what i read. now, it is a struggle to get through one book a month. i remember telling my psychiatrist that the day i can no longer read is the day i die. i meant it. i still mean it. so much has been taken away from me because of illness and craziness. if i'm not at work, or visiting my husband, i am sleeping. i hate it. i hate that i cannot read a damn book without falling asleep. i hate it that i can't follow a simple plotline and i hate the fact that i can now read a book, completely forget it so that i can read it again and not remember a damn thing about it. so, i am forcing myself to read something. it is difficult and damn depressing.

think of your most favorite thing to do. now imagine your ability to do that is slowly taken away from you over years. know that it will never be fun for you again. know that it will never get better. now, deal with it.

torture for Americans only

there are new pictures from Abu Ghraib (from 2003) that have just been released. i would like to say, for the record, i am against torture and the mistreatment of prisoners, especially political prisoners. we do not know what these Iraqi men have been accused of. we do not know why they are being mistreated (for information or for show or for some sick fun?).

HOWEVER...

i would like to say that NO ONE deserves that kind of treatment, but i honestly don't believe it. some men deserve that kind of treatment and worse. child molesters, rapists and husbands and boyfriends that abuse their wives and girlfriends. people that torture animals. serial killers. no amount of jail time will take away the pedophiles sick desires but jail time with a little something thrown in....maybe. scare the living shit out of them and maybe they'll get it. treat them as badly as they have treated their victims. chemical castration and a little vacation to Bruno the Sodomites secluded cell just might make them see the error of their ways.

just a thought.

last year's #1 selling valentine

last year's best selling valentine. i didn't buy it. kind of blah.











http://money.cnn.com/2006/02/14/news/funny/hallmark_valentine/index.htm?section=cnn_topstories

in preparation.....

for Valentine's Day, here is some info on St Valentine....www.catholic.org/international/international_story.php?id=18661

reading

just cracked open Gil's All Fright Diner. found it while shelving new fiction. includes Earl the vampire, Duke the werewolf and Gil the obese female owner of a diner. she has trouble with zombies, rising from the cemetery next door, scaring off her customers. (seems like a little necromancer can't get enough zombies.) so, Earl and Duke are hired to find out what's up.

also reading Area 51 by Robert Doherty. it's an 10 year old novel, part of a series. had this book for ages! deals with Area 51, UFO's and the Great Pyramid. a little slow, but these are my interests.

predator

currently listening to Predator. i really haven't liked Cornwell's last couple of books and this one is not winning me over either. she has too many plotlines and not enough MEAT. i won't tell you what is wrong with Lucy, but she is sick and it is a STUPID thing. Lucy is just a whiney, self-absorbed bitch. i used to really enjoy Marino, but now he is just a stupid hard ass. never cared for Benton and, well, what a surprise, he and Scarpetta are having love life issues. the killer is dull. hard to follow. why can't she write like she used to?

snow, how i hate thee

we had snow. no, i'm sorry. i should have said, we had snow. lots of it. i think we have just over 12 inches here in northern RI. i wonder if the library lot will be plowed out. the town is notorious for 'forgetting' to plow the library lot. hey, i know staff doesn't count but think of the patrons...the reason why we will be open. plow the damn lot!

i had to shovel. the snow was light and fluffy which made it easier. still, i had a minor asthma event and now i also have a migraine from all the coughing and hacking. and wheezing.

i actually used Instant Messenger for the first time last night to IM Hinoserm. i guess his phone is running out of minutes ( i think that is just an excuse not to call) and Blobbus doesn't have a phone (also an excuse). how can you not have a phone? dude, even Gilligan had a phone...two coconut halves and hemp rope.

i'm going to watch a movie...Evil Enko. it's about Russia's worst serial killer. he killed maybe 50 kids and i think he ate some of them. i'll never understand cannabalism. hey. Stop and Shop does sell meat, people. no need to eat each other. find a damn cow, would ya?

mouse died

Hinoserm would be very proud of me. my cordless optical mouse died. took me about 5 minutes to figure this out. not too swift. i replaced the batteries, all on my own, and tried to use the mouse. nothing. then i remembered there were a couple of buttons i had to push. well, in five more minutes, i found them and now the mouse works again! yeah.

been sleeping a lot. feeling weird lately. still having crazy as dreams. some are very dark.

hino....if you are changing your flight again, please let me know ASAP because i am asking for time off for this coming wednesday the 15th. hope you are having a good time and have made it down to SF. call auntie when you get the time and please pick up a few postcards for me! love, mom.

in June, i will get seniority at work, a small pay raise and 3 whole weeks (96 hours) vacation! yeee-haaaa!

super cute

call home

Hinoserm, call home. i got your flight info in my email. will probably leave work around 6pm on that wednesday.

been spending too much time watching season one of Lost, South Park and thinking about the aliens. no, they are not back, but i have been sleeping with the lights on for a couple of nights now. and the dreams i have been having are long and weird...no aliens though. last night i dreamed the library was moved to a Victorian mansion which just happened to be next to my deceased sister's father's store. i dreamed of having another prairie dog in this house and i dreamed of secret passages and i hoped to see Dzadziu again. i liked living in the same house as my place of work...in life, i would hate it. it was a very dark dream full of weirdness and dark thoughts.

the other night, i dreamed my husband adopted a camel and he spent more time with the camel than me. my feelings were hurt. lots of aimless driving in an orange pickup truck.

before that, i dreamed the library was moved to a bowling alley.

i am dead tired!