Thursday, June 29, 2006

white chocolate m&m's

someone bought the new white chocolate m&m's and brought them to the library. we have a few left so i thought i would buy some more. i went to CVS and they had none. i went to Walmart and they had one bag left! sheesh. it's true that they are good...and i am not a fan of white chocolate...but THAT good?

did YOU steal her identity?

nutcase...the mom with the girl who wants to be a page...was in again today. she secretively spoke with the circhead and director. turns out, her identity is being stolen "all over the place" and her family has been using her name for doctor's appointments, etc. strange. so, she wanted us to BE SURE no one else can use her library card. she wanted to add 4 digits of her social security number to her name that is on the card and then quiz her each time she uses the card to be sure she is, er, herself. the trouble with this patron is: she rarely has her card on her and we have looked her up and her children up with a license. my circhead very wisely told her that now that we are 'aware' of her 'troubles', she will ALWAYS have to have her card on her otherwise the scheme won't work. something like that. at the end of the 10 minute, confusing talk, nutcase said something to the circhead like, "if the government got ahold of these numbers, then i could have your job" (ie: they would let her work her job) to which my circhead said, "well, you can have it right now if you want it!" HA! so, nutcase is not only nuts, she is also paranoid, which is far more disturbing. her kid will NOT be working at the library as mom has now sealed her fate. good work mom!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Hot or Not

i am thinking he is pretty hot...but what is that itty-bitty tattoo on his chest? a fish? needs to get a REAL tattoo to rate a ten.


we have an opening for a page. we have had a couple of applications turned in. one girl is the daughter of a CRAZY woman. literally, needs meds and forgets to take them. there does not seem to be anything wrong with the daughter. not quite. since she has turned in her application, she has called the library 4 times to speak to the director or my circ head. she has dropped in a half dozen times...all to see if she has been hired yet. she is acting so desperate and we wonder why. maybe, if she has this job, she will be less under her mother's thumb. maybe she would like to have some spending money...i don't think mom works. i don't think she is capable. the thing is, no one wants to hire this girl precisely because her mom is a whack job who can go off at any time without warning. it feels wrong to deny the kid a job but we are all afraid of what might happen if we do hire her. hell, her mom could do all sorts of things and hang around the library or who knows what. this kid could be the worlds best page, too. i'm glad i don't have to make the decision although we (circ staff) have all mentioned that we are concerned about nutcase mom.
last night, nutcase mom came in to pay off a fine on one of her daughters cards. it was seventy-five cents. she paid with a roll of pennies, two Canandian dimes and a foreign coin roughly the size of a nickel. this is all she did. she did not check out any items or use the computer. she just came in to pay the fine. our only male circ staff helped her. about 15 minutes later, nutcase mom calls back and another circworker gets the call. nutcase wanted to ask about a fine on her other daughters card and she wanted to talk to the man with glasses that looked like a young Benjamin Franklin. um. right. the guy looks nothing like Ben. and why didn't she ask about her other daughters fines when she was at the library 15 minutes ago? because she is a NUTCASE!
so, should we hire the daughter? she is a little pushy but she might not have inherited the nuttiness.

Sunday, June 25, 2006


one night, Hino and i were coming home from Kennebunkport, Maine (after dining with the Bushs') when we stopped at a gas mart for directions. we bought a bottle of Moxie, never having had one before. Hino opened the bottle and i started the car and started driving. he passed me the bottle first and a took a sip and i gagged...thinking of it now makes me gag. it tasted like regurgitated bile; like someone threw up in the bottle and tried to pass it off as soda. YUCK. Hino agreed that it was horrid and when we got back home, we passed it off to his aunt to try and we all agreed the stuff was NASTY. does anyone actually LIKE this drink? id' be very curious to find out just what you like about it.

Vending Machines

the vending machines in the Visiting Room are unpredictable, when they work. the other day, i tried to buy a Barq's Rootbeer (buy pushing the Barq's button, of course) and got a Dr Pepper instead. i hrumphed and brought it to our table. i bitched a little about the morons who load the machines. i mentioned i had never even tasted a Dr Pepper before. Maniac Mike was aghast. he couldn't believe i've never had a Dr Pepper. his mom is a DP fanatic and i have stayed with her a number of times but never had a DP. so, i tried the one i got by mistake and it was damn good. i was shocked. i thought it would taste medicinal or something bitter like Moxie. so, now i have a case of DP in my fridge, though i still prefer rootbeer.
there is not much choice from these vending machines. once in a while, we will get something new. yesterday, they had a Little Debbie coffee cake. for awhile, they had Bugles and Funions. once they started stocking pop tarts, they haven't stopped. they have had they same old candy bars but once in awhile, they'll have something Kissables and white Reeses cups. the staples are Doritos, Cheetohs and Fritos (they like their O's i guess) and Keefe brand pastry snacks (like yodels, cinnamon rolls, apple pies.) it sounds terrible, and speaks to how monotonous prison life is, but we actually get excited when a new product appears. and when the Pepsi machine is working (which is never) we actually have had orgasms. i hate Pepsi but MM likes the Mountain Dew.
so, once again kiddies, i cannot stress it enough. you do not want to perform any action that will send you to prison where one of your only highlights would be finding something new in the visiting room vending machines. IF there even are vending machines.

Fortean Times

the new Fortean Times is out and it looks like a good one!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Godzilla vs the Smog Monster

Creature Feature site,0,5197472.htmlstory

Ripper snitchers

there are two sets of brothers that often have visits. there is a set of Cambodian brothers with long hair that they often get braided. one brother has a a huge black KHMER tattoo on his arm. they did not commit sex crimes.
then we have a set of Puerto Rican brothers who DID commit a sex crime, together. rape. a couple of no good pieces of shit Rippers. seems they get harrassed by one of MM's young Pagan friends (a good kid, but not so bright). the kid cannot stand one of the brothers in particular and Rippers and Chesters in general. the Pagan had words with the Ripper and the Ripper's Ripper brother ran right over to the guard and whined like a little baby that his brother was being harrassed by this kid and he's in with the Pagans and they are all in the Aryaan Brotherhood which is FALSE FALSE FALSE. a. big. fat. lie.
in a real prison, altercations are taken care of between the inmates. in real prisons, rapists are not in with the general population and are among the scum and they certainly would not go whining to a guard over something another inamte said to him.
MM thinks this facility gets Big Bucks for each inmate in the Sex Program, so the Rippers and Chesters are coddled. i would like to find out for sure and, if it's true, how much does money does this involve.


last night, i watched Minotaur. eight youths must be sacrificed to the beast. don't expect any Greek mythology. just a bunch of teens thrown down a "labrynth" to feed a very ugly, very hungry beast (that slightly resembles a bull.) i love creature features but this creature lacked a whole lot of something.
speaking of Creature Features, WB out of Boston is hosting a double creature feature every saturday at noon. Maniac Mike was watching Godzilla vs the Smog Monster when i arrived for the visit. that particular Godzilla film is not one of my favorites. someone was smoking some serious dope when they came up with that monster. very campy (duh), very 70's. almost expect to see the Brady kids pop out in their groovy matching outfits and sing. don't laugh, but i actually DO have the Brady Bunch kids on CD. i bought it at a weak moment and i think Hino was with me. maybe. if he was with me, i'm sure he encouraged the purchase!


check out this witchy game. it will mess with your mind.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

a hick

what the HELL is this? yuck! i cannot believe this guy won American Idol. granted, i have not watched any of the shows and have never heard him sing, but just LOOK at him! my god, he is a geek and a freak who looks like a plumber (not that i think plumbers, in general, are horribly ugly). BLECH! please, pluck those caterpiller brows. normally, i love salt and pepper hair but dude, dye it! well, this just proves (to me) that Idol does suck and i am missing nothing.


today i received a HUGE bouquet of flowers at work! sunday is our 3 year wedding anniversary and MM sent me flowers. this was the nicest bouquet yet. he always tries to get me plumerias, but i try to explain to him that around here, florists won't have plumerias. so, he always asks for the most fragrant bouquets because i love smelly flowers. they always include lillies and i love lillies. this bouquet came with huge baby blue hydrangeas, orange gerber daisies, irises, huge pink roses, little pink roses, and about 7 other kinds of flowers as well as a fragrant (eucalyptus like) greenery. i wish i could use my digital camera to post pics. Hino needs to help me with that soon.
anyway, i love my flowers! oh, and i also received a super cute white and black enameled silver penguin charm and a silver ladybug charm for my bracelet. i need to have the charms professionally attached soon. it also needs a good cleaning because i wear it all the time.

Josh Holloway

has anyone else seen the pic of Josh Holloway on the cover of Men's Health? Hot, Hot, Hot! then there was a little snippet about him in People. i guess he was robbed in his home at GUNPOINT. egads! these LOST folks have rotten luck. People had a little pic of him and his wife and his wife is a little bow-wow. or else, it was just a poor picture of her.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Destroyed

this just in: Russian Roullette by The Destroyed. review to follow.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

no beeps!

my little remote beepy thing on my car key chain no longer beeps. actually, when the button was pushed, it was more like a beep-THUNK sound. so, i either have to get Hino to fix it or give me his because the alarm is not active when i manually lock it and i do not trust the assholes in this complex. it is always goddamn something with this car. my traction control is also giving me trouble. the light is on (which means TC is OFF) but i was told it was just a malfunctioning light. WTF? i think i am going to buy a DAMN bicycle!

staff room toilet

i feel really bad for library staff that must use the public toilets, so i should feel guilty for complaining about our Staff Only watercloset. why is it that nearly every time i want to wash my hands or pee i have to follow a fellow staffer that just took the nastiest, smelliest dump on earth? i try to save all my shitting for the comfort of my own bathroom. i shit before work, or wait until i get home (unless i am sick, and then i am just as guilty, i guess). today, we had three, stinky, gross dumps which could be smelled from the hallway. what are these people eating?
our bathroom is tiny. just a weird toilet that is way too low to the ground (i think now it would be illegal to install such a toilet. it would probably have to be handicap accesible.) the flusher is a big, silver knob on the side of the toilet that is so low, there would be no way to avoid bending way over the toilet to push it. so, most of us use our foot to push it in and it is quite hard to push. the toilet paper container is new (well, second hand from the senior center which got all new stuff) and much better than the last dispenser, which was a block of metal with one roll that i always bumped into on the way down or up from the toilet. it was literally at our right knee and very hard to use.
across from the toilet is a big white sink and a very nice soap dispenser (foamy white soap, mmmmmm), a paper towel dispenser ("pull paper down with two hands") and a mirror. the mirror is useless because it is far too dark in the bathroom to check your makeup.
i don't feel entirely comfortable using the loo at work. at my old cashiering job, i'd hold it all in, the toilet was so gross AND we let the public use it, too.
how many feel uncomfortable dumping at work? am i just weird?

the Blob

a giant gaseous Blob. but why did they nickname it 'comet'? wasn't Blob good enough? weird, weird scientists.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

spooky southcoast

for an excellent look into the paranormal, check out this online 'radio' show Spooky Southwest. i just listened to an excellent show about the Bell Withch haunting.

Friday, June 09, 2006

almost missed my visit

i had a 3:50 visit today. i arrived ahead of time and checked in. once i went through the metal detector, the guard told me that i could not where the shirt i had on. they wouldn't let me in EVEN THOUGH i had worn this same shirt to visits several times over the years (and this was not a new guard). i was so fucking pissed. if it had been any other visiting time, i would have had plenty of time to get to a Walmart to buy a t-shirt and throw it on, but for this visit, you must be checked in by 4:30 or you don't get in. so, my only option was to fly down the road to Cohoes, a store i cannot afford and pray they had something cheap enough to wear that would pass. i ended up with a crappy sky blue stretch tee ( hate stretch tees) for $16 fucking dollars. i could've just went home but there was no way in hell i was going to let that fucking institution win. i was going to get my damn visit. so, i changed in the store parking lot, flew back to the prison, ran in, ran right through the machine, didn't say a damn word and neither did they, and i got my fucking visit.
what really, really pissed me off was i had worn that same shirt MANY times and no one even hinted that there was anything wrong with it. this guard HIMSELF has seen me in the shirt before and said nothing. once i wore a shirt that another guard said was a V-neck (which it wasn't) but he let me go into the bathroom and turn the shirt around back to front. they would not let me do that this time.
i don't know how this institution runs. they make up rules on the spot. everyone has their own agenda. guards play with their Gameboys when they should be watching the inmates, they steal magazines from the mail from the inmates, they throw piles of mail away (witnessed many time), they bring tv's into their control rooms that aren't allowed, one inmate gets told one thing and another gets a whole other story. it's a joke that the taxpayers of RI do not get. it is the guards' salaries that drive up the cost of keeping the institution running. guards that get paid maternity for MONTHS when their wives give birth. the guards in the visiting room do NOTHING but tell us where to sit and pat down the inmates as they arrive and leave. they sit around drinking coffee and bullshitting. they don't even patrol the tables as they should and they often sit with their backs to the room. and they are among the laziest fuckers anywhere. the toughest beat in RI MY ASSHOLE!

the nun

The Nun was a pretty good ghost story. original and i did like the main character...a teen whose mother was murdered by the apparent ghost of a nun. the teen witnessed the attack and told the cops, but of course they did not believe her. there were no fingerprints on the murder weapon, a knife. the teen decides to join a couple of friends who are going to Spain for holiday. the teen believes her mothers death is connected to the Catholic boarding school her own mother atttended as a child.
it's a pretty cool, gruesome movie and the end is surprising. give it a try.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

hot or not?

found this guy on the hot or not site which is pretty fun. you see pics of real people and vote on how hot they are on a scale from one to ten. i gave him a ten for the tattoo. check out

Dave, the delivery guy

every weekday we get a delivery of interlibrary loan items. many bins and boxes. Dave is the delivery guy tuesday thru friday and he drives a white delivery van. he is older, grumpy, a little annoying and not attractive (atleast, not to us. to his wife, maybe). he's gruff. today, Dave came in with a load of bins and my coworker and i were taping up the cardboard boxes that were full and ready to go. my hands were shaking and i said, "hell, i don't know why my hands are shaking?" and my coworker said, right in front of poor Dave, "that's 'cause Dave's here and you're all excited." i was told (as i didn't see for myself) that poor Dave turned bright red. me, i just shook my head and laughed. after he left, i said to the same coworker, "yeah, every time i see that white truck i get wet!" and she busted out laughing and so did everyone on staff that she told the story to. sheesh!


god damn fucking rain, AGAIN! i am sick to death of rain. when are we going to start the damn summer? i still have to put the heater on in the bathroom to take a shower. and every fucking day it rains, i am more fatigued and more sore and more bitchy. when i went to work at 2pm, the rain was pouring down, the road was littered with leaves and branches, i drove through gargantuan lakes of water and had to put the heat on in my poor convertible which is just PINING to put it's top down. really, she whines to me. she can't take the rain, either.
had another damn Godzilla dream. WTF?? this time, i was in the Phillipines with a Gozilla killer guerilla squad (say that 5 times fast) and we were simultaneously running away from and chasing Godzilla. to kill him. and i wanted to kill him. i. want. him. dead. and out of my dreams. i thought of the Phillipines because Art Bell posted a letter on Coast and he is now in the islands.
kids. hate um. the brattiest, most irritating kids always manage to spot the candy (WHICH IS FOR THE STAFF! GET YOUR FUCKING FILTHY PAWS OUT OF THE CANDY DISH!) on the secretaries desk. How? they have to go through a doorway that is clearly part of the backroom and not inviting in the least. we have to yell at them, "please come out of there...don't touch that!" while their mothers are clueless and have lost control of their kids years ago. i would be embarrassed if my kid had done that.
speaking of brats: i just read an article in People which reported on a woman who worked as a teacher in a Catholic school. she wanted to get pregnant, but couldn't do it 'naturally', so she use invetro. she and her husband had twins. she got fired because she did not follow church teaching which does not 'allow' invetro (which would also involve freezing and/or killing fertilized eggs). i didn't know this about my own religion. i have two minds on this issue. 1) it is discrimination. period. and the one i favor 2) hurray! i am sick to death of all these Christian couples who can't have kids so instead of adopting, they go off and get invetro and have 5 babies and thank God because he must have intended them to have 5 (even the babies born sick with special needs). i always think that God REALLY must have intended them NOT to have brats because they could not produce them 'naturally'. maybe God intended for their selfish asses to adopt? do they ever think of that? so, i say fuck her. she knew the terms she was hired under. i don't believe a LOT of what my church teaches, either, but she knew the deal. now she is a Lutheran. hell, i get pissed at my church, too but damn, i would never want to be anything else. until they excommunicate me, that is.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


well, the big bad day has come and nearly gone. i listened to the Misfits in the car to and from work and last night i bought Maniac Mike a Hell, Michigan t-shirt...just like this one. boy, i would love to wear that one to work. my director would fucking flip (and send me home to change).
the day at work was relatively stress free though our delivery was massive. hmmmm. no fucked up, stanky, crazy or wild patrons today. maybe they are all at home celebrating Black Masses. or maybe they all finally remembered to take their medication. or they were afraid to come out to the library knowing what devils we are. still, i am alittle disappointed not to have had something happen today. well, still a couple hours to go. maybe the earth WILL open up and swallow us down. save me a seat by deSade, thanks.


i had the weirdest dreams last night. i dreamed i was visiting a zoo for large reptiles (not quite dinosaurs) and one escaped from it's cage and was traquilized and wrestled back in. the damn thing was pink. then, by a pool, we were going to watch some sort of show when it erupted, the earth shook and two green beams of light burst from the water. the congrete cracked, people were running and screaming. two kids fell in the pool. they were in the water, then they began to rise on top of a black-green coral reef. the reef rose higher and higher until a head pulled out of the water and we all saw that it was Godzilla. shit. we all ran and all i could think of was, "this is weird. we aren't even in Tokyo." it went on for a while. lots of screaming and running. Lucille Ball showed up. two brave kids tried to trap G, then it just ended. i was also having a nighmare around 8:00 am but thankfully, my husband called and woke me up out of it. i have to be at work in one hour. fuck.

Asmodeus welcomes 06-06-06

Asmodeus the demon destroyer welcomes visitors to the church at Rennes-Le-Chateau...and he welcomes you to 06-06-06. so, have any qualms about the date? does 666 mean anything to you? not me. i'm convinced the Mark of the Beast is hardly a 3 digit number. puh-lease. an area code? besides, can anyone figure out anything about Revelations? what a crock.
one thing about the Number: when i was a cashier if a customers purchase rang up to $6.66, i would add a penny and pay it myself. most people laughed and some even said thanks but no one ever protested. is having a heck of a wingding. that's Hell, Michigan.

Monday, June 05, 2006

things found in books

check out this site for things found in library books: . i have read that one of the strangest things found in a library book was a piece of fried bacon. i have found: Q-Tips, a panty liner, prescriptions, pictures, blank checks, dollar bills galore, a ten dollar bill, CDs and DVDs, dental floss, drinking straws, an unlit match, toilet paper squares (lots of those), a pipe cleaner, bookmarks from around the world, pens, a single earring, a lot of airline tickets, very personal information (birth and death certificates, licenses, doctor's instructions, social security cards, w2 forms, checks of all kinds), used lollipop sticks, emory boards, used popsicles sticks, wrapper from an ice pop, stick of chewing gum and much, much more. nope...i did not keep any of the money. it went to the library (after a few months) donation fund.
instead of bookmarks, i am now using elastics to keep my place. they work really well as long as they are loose and do not crumple the pages or the cover and i never lose my place (unless the elastic breaks).
for non-Rhode Islanders: elastics=rubber bands

Rat Scabies

he's cute and funny and smart and British. can't find the realy cool pics he took with Chris Dawes. he looked rather esoteric in those pics.

Naveen Andrews

OH, to be Lost!

Richard Roxburgh

the best Drac since Bela.

current crushes-Hugh Jackman

best viewed in leather!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Kasey Kahne

Maniac Mike is all about Nascar these days. everyday, he mentions Nascar in some way. every visit, he eats a pop tart and tells me all about the last race. he talks about going to the races and all the fun "we'll" have. right. watching those cars go round and round will only give me a migraine. of course, i like crashes. crashes are fun as long as no one gets seriously hurt. just pisssed.
anyway, MM told me that Kasey Kahne made the Top 100 Beautiful People in People magazine. i still haven't seen the magazine as it is lent out at the moment, but i found some pics and here's one. um. he's okay, i guess. a little too young, little too squeaky clean, little too 'boy-next-door' (cue Judy Garland). yawn. not my type. but MM is pretty hyped Kasey made the cut and Jeff Gordon didn't. he hates Jeff Gordon...but i think it's more of a love/hate relationship. he loves him when he loses (or loses it).


i was reading a post on to my husband. the post stated that a midget prostitute was reported in an area and when the cops checked it out, there was no midget. i thought this was funny. then Maniac Mike says to me, "i've always wanted to do it with a midget." HUH?! so i said, "no, you're kidding, right?" he wasn't kidding. he said he never met a midget prostitute or a midget stripper (and there are none at Hooters) but he heard of a famous midget porn star.
the first thing that pops into my head is a naked Rosie O'Donnell because whenever i think of a female midget i think of her. it's her arms. they are not fully formed or something. they stopped growing at some point and they look like Little People arms. so now i have this picture in my mind of MM boinking Rosie and i'm, like, gagging. but i know he hates her, too, so it didn't go that far.
MM asks me to see if i can find the midget porn star on the web ("she has long black hair, i think. she may be named Thumbelina"). didn't find her but OH MI GOD! there is midget porn all over the place. innocent little munchkins are doing it all over the damn web...what would Dorothy think? now, some of those girls were kinda cute but the midget men...BRRRRRRR! they give me the cold shivers. EEK and all that. shit, i have enough with the Midget that comes into the library and he's not really a midget (just small and short and creepy).
anyway, who am i to stop anyone's fantasy. if MM can find a cute midget, fine, but i do not want to hear about it, know about it or see the pictures. that is just way too much off the kink scale for me.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


what i like about summer: putting the convertible's top down, opening windows and cute, furry, scampering little animals.
what i do not like about summer: shaving my legs every day, hurricane season and the overabundance of roadkill.

beat down

Maniac Mike was telling me about the time that One and a Half Push-ups got beat up by an inmate, a cousin of MM's Nascar buddy, Saleem. One 1/2 is a pathetic guard who we heard bragging to another guard that he passed the academy by doing only one and a half push-ups. all that was 'required' was one push-up. sad, right? One is a big fat dummy...he would be the fuck-up on any tv show...the dumb slob doctor that barely passed medical school or the neighbor that never has a girlfriend and sits in front of the tv watching Girls Gone Wild while chugging down generic label beer. anyway, last summer, Saleem's cousin had just finished a visit and was called back into the little room that is used to search inmates. Cousin was just granted parole, too. seems Cousin did not like the way One was playing his hands all over his body or some such and Cousin beat up One 1/2. so, six or seven guards break it up and Cousin is taken to Seg for ten days. One 1/2, though not badly hurt, gets 2 months paid leave per the Union. here's the clincher: the whole episode was filmed and One 1/2 used inappropriate behavior and clearly started the whole incident. he was reprimanded and almost fired over it...though it is impossible to fire these Union guards. still, he got 2 months vacation. Cousin was told that the incident would not effect his parole and he was basically cleared of the wrongdoing. is that something, or what?
this is the first time i'm hearing of it because MM just starting talking with Saleem about Nascar as they are both fans. so, let me bust a little stereotype right now...Saleem is a black Muslim and he loves Nascar! how cool is that!? Nascar is not just for Rednecks anymore.