Thursday, January 11, 2007

Look Who's Back!

MYK! i like this one best, but scroll down for s'more!


a little too posed


wet white...always nice


notice the strategically placed holes in his jeans.


somebody going to a cowboy funeral?

rock the cat box

i don't watch tv, so i have not seen the Rock the Cat Box commercial. i hear it is very funny but surely NOT as funny as 5 women who range in age from 24 to 58 trying to remember the REAL words to the Clash song Rock the Casbah. since i own their CDs, i think i got most of the words right but in the wrong order. we all agreed that "drop your bombs between the minarets" is not very PC. for those who care, the Lyrics are:

"Rock the Casbah"
Now the king told the boogie men
You have to let that raga drop
The oil down the desert way
Has been shakin' to the top
The sheik he drove his Cadillac
He went a' cruisnin' down the ville
The muezzin was a' standing
On the radiator grille
[Chorus]The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
By order of the prophet
We ban that boogie sound
Degenerate the faithful
With that crazy Casbah sound
But the Bedouin they brought out
The electric camel drum
The local guitar picker
Got his guitar picking thumb
As soon as the shareef
Had cleared the square
They began to wail
Now over at the temple
Oh! They really pack 'em in
The in crowd say it's cool
To dig this chanting thing
But as the wind changed direction
The temple band took five
The crowd caught a wiff
Of that crazy Casbah jive
The king called up his jet fighters
He said you better earn your pay
Drop your bombs between the minarets
Down the Casbah way
As soon as the shareef was
Chauffeured outta there
The jet pilots tuned to
The cockpit radio blare
As soon as the shareef was
Outta their hair
The jet pilots wailed
He thinks it's not kosher
Fundamentally he can't take it.
You know he really hates it.

i hate losing

had a visit today. got to leave work early on vacation time. lost at cards to MM for the third visit in a row. DAMN! i hate losing and i hate losing to HIM who gloats and grins and just makes me want to spit up! look I want to win. ME. MOI! still, he has never beat me more than three games in a row, so i am confident that i will win tomorrow. MM claims he has been winning because he pealed the alligator sticker off the jinked Stuff On My Cat (in an alligator costume) postcard...very worth the 10 bucks i paid for them...stuck it on his tv and strokes it for good luck. what a nutcase!
no wonder i got a LEG LAMP for christmas! Hino, pleeeeaaaaase borrow the LEG LAMP!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

cards and flowers

well, thanks to Swampy the alligator i conned my husband into buying me for Christmas, i had won at cards an unprecedented 5 visits in a row! see, we have this thing about alligators being lucky or jinxed and Swampy was lucky for me 5 times in a row. boy, Maniac Mike did not take it well. by the fifth time, he was sure i was cheating and i had two fingers on the chopping block if he ever found out how i cheated him. but i DON'T cheat. i use Voodoo, magic, jinxes, prayers and spells, but i don't cheat.
i'm sorry to say that my luck ran out and he won the game during the last visit. he was gloating and going on and on but i told him it will be a long time until he will ever win 5 visits in a row. then he said, "i have defeated you Ricky Bobby" and i smacked him when the guards were not looking. on the hand. he deserved it!
on January third, MM sent me flowers at work for our 5th year together. they had many lillies and white roses with gold sparkles on them. very pretty!

Happy Birthday! NOT!

this week i have been wearing a cardboard and glitter tiara that reads Happy New Year! you cannot believe the number of numbnuts that wished me a Happy Birthday!! hmm...first week of January....hat has Happy in it, yes, but i do believe it is followed by New Year and NOT birthday. now WHY WHY WHY would i advertise that it was my birthday??? sheesh!

Dr Khan

i should mention that Dr Khan came into the library the other day and i got the chance to thank him for the Vicodin and show him my tooth so he would not think i was some Vicodin craving junky. he said that i was very welcome and he was glad i was better. then he introduced me to his very nice and very pretty wife (who had a large Louis Vitton bag) and he signed on a computer for a moment and checked out some films. see. there are good and caring doctors out there!

where's Marlon?

we have several extremely annoying old lady patrons. some are hapless and helpless. a particularly pathetic and mean one came in today. she borrowed The Godfather II on videocassettes. it was a long move, thus a 2 parter with 2 videos banded together with an elastic (rubber band to you non-New Englanders). she returned the movie to me and grouchily commented that this was the wrong movie because Marlon Brando was not in it.
Grouch: "this isn't The Godfather. Marlon Brando was not in it."
Me: "right. this is the sequel...the second Godfather movie. there are 3 different movies."
G: "well, this can't be it because Marlon Brando was not in it. i already TOLD you that!"
M: "well, Marlon Brando ISN'T in this movie because it is the second film that's why its called Godfather II."
G: "i watched both the tapes and both tapes had the exact same movie on them."
M: "ummmm...actually, that can't be because i see they are Part 1 and Part 2. Part 2 would be the continuation (i know...don't use big words with these people. it just confuses them even more) of Part 1."
G: "LISTEN! i SAID both videos have the exact SAME MOVIE!!"
M: jesus, Mary and joseph! "well, no one has ever mentioned that in the many years we've owned the video."
G: "well I'M mentioning it! it's the same movie and it is NOT The Godfather because Marlon Brando is NOT in it!!!" hemorage already, lady and leave me in peace!
M: "fine" and i walk away.
when she went around the corner, i said rather loudly, "i'm going in the back and i'm watching this movie!!" so, i popped in the first vid and scanned through the promos and got to the start of the film. yep. it's the beginning of Godfather II for sure. then i pop in the second vid and see that it is the continuation of part 1. SWEET! i proved the mean old nasty half dead bitch wrong! YAHOO! so, i went back out to the desk and said, rather loudly, "well, the movie is fine and as it should be."
my coworker believes the bitch put in the first film twice and thought she had put in 1 and then 2 but only ever watched Part 1 TWICE.
then, as i was cleaning up for closing, i found a small packet that was a lanolin wipe for breastfeeding mothers. YUCK!!! it was packaged like a wipey and i can only picture one of our fat, ugly, lactating leeches wiping her leaky boob with this in our bathroom and then stopping at the desk to check out, handing us her card with her unwashed hand!! BLECH! luckily, the package was unopened, so we put it in a DVD case of another coworker to find when she checks out her DVD and takes it home. heh heh. we are EVIL!