Sunday, October 30, 2005

quick halloween movie ratings

here are a couple of quick ratings for movies i watched over this weekend.

The Hollow...and excellent Halloween movie. the descendant of Ichabod Crane must defeat the headless horseman. the Horseman was an excellently made creature and i enjoyed the cast. not cheesy and not too scary. just a good ole yarn. /////
Dead and Breakfast...america's answer to Shaun of the Dead. very funny, neat characters, kookie zombies, lots of head chopping. a must see. ////
Satan's Little Helper...surprisingly good, inspite of the awful Satan costume. but the campy-ness made it good. the kid, nine-year old Douglas is obsessed with a video game called Satan's Little Helper. he wishes to be his helper in real life. he gets his wish. the kid gets a little annoying and the mom is a wacko but the movie was surprisingly good and it takes place on Halloween. worth a couple bucks rental. ///
Predator Island...teens out on a boat, meteor hits, teens get tossed overboard and end up in a lighthouse with a couple who tend to the light. aliens attack. awful costumes, terribly lame aliens. but the cast is pretty good and i like them which helped the movie. don't pay money for it. //
Hammerhead..."half man, half shark, total terror"...well, not really. the mad scientist is a creep and terribly cliche. he even has an Igor and a female russian assistant. he has merged a hammerhead shark with a man and created a creature that can kill on land and sea. big whoop. lame creature. the male hero is a fat ass and i was hoping for him to die a horrid death. he kept calling his love interest "Baby" and that pissed me off. so, for those two reasons, i hated the movie. i give it two slashes just because it's a creature feature. //
Dominion, Prequel to the Excorcist...can't see why this would be a prequel. awful overacting but a great location. takes place on a British east african archaeological dig. Father Merrin is in charge. they unearth an old Byzantine church that was built over and altar to the devil and buried. Father Merrin must face the Devil, who is lame (literally) and a wuss compared to Linda Blake's acting. no watchy. //

Saturday, October 29, 2005

bush disapproval

mars comes close

Mars will be the closest to Earth for only the second time in 60,000 years. Mars is usually 140 million miles away from Earth but will be only 43.1 million miles away from Earth tonight at 11:25pm EDT. UFO reports often increase during close approaches the Earth. take a look outside tonight and look for the red planet.


i went to Hollywood Video last night and rented a bunch of movies for Halloween. the HV near the Lincoln Mall is having a Grand Opening special of 99 cents a movie. last night i watched Piranha the Spawning. it was staged at an island resort probably in Jamaica. a government ship had sunk off shore. the ship contained canisters of genenticaly altered pirahna. these piranha could fly and they were super aggressive. they would clamp down on a victims neck and munch away. a young, skinny Lance Hendriksen was the water patrol officer. i don't recommend spending money on the movie.

i also watched Nightmare on Elm Street for the first time. i was always afraid i would be scared out of my mind if i saw the movie but Maniac Mike convinced me to see it. it was a good movie but not scarey at all. i liked the nightmare sequences and the psychological aspects of the movie. i can't see me being a Freddie Krueger fanantic as he's just another character to me, but Maniac Mike loves the movies and thinks Freddie is cool. still, it was an enjoyable creepy movie.

Piranha II //
Nightmare on Elm Street ////

sexologist dream

last night i dreamed that i was a sex therapist. i had one couple in my office. they had filled out a questionnaire before they came in for their appointment. one question was: How often do you have oral sex? the wife had checked off 'often' and the husband checked off 'once in awhile'. i asked the wife when the last time they had oral sex was and she said 'two weeks ago'. the husband agreed. so i asked the wife, who was mousy and timid and plain, if she really considered every two weeks 'often' and she just shrugged and said that she thought it was. of course, the husband did not agree. he thought that atleast 2 or 3 times a week would be often. it's funny, but i felt for the husband and not the wife. she seemed so 'blah' and uncommunicative, mousy and a little shifty. i felt that she was not committed to the marriage, not because of the lack of oral sex, but because she had a sort of an 'oh well' attitude. i told the couple that i believed they needed a marriage counsellor and that they needed to learn how to communicate first. they had come to me because the husband could not get it up, and i could see that it was mostly the wifes fault because she just was not loving or supportive. maybe she was depressed. anyway, i wasn't able to help them and sent them away. then my husband came over and we had sex on my desk! score one for the sexologist!

Friday, October 28, 2005

pizza dream

i dreamed about food last night. i was trying to get food and having a hard time finding anything edible. i went from pizza place to deli to fish and chips stands. i found myself in a dutch butcher shop that sold pizza. i wanted a pizza with black olives but the butcher said, in a weird dutch accemt, that he only had green olives. blech. who puts green olives on pizza?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

jury duty

well, i got called for jury duty but i managed to get myself out of it with some crying and a note from my psychiatrist. i pleaded illness, which is the truth. i would be dead within 3 days. i also pointed out that my husband was IN PRISON and don't you think i might not want to convict anybody if i thought they might be placed in the same bloc as my husband? it's a small state and everybody knows everybody else. sheesh. then i thought i passed up a chance for some really good blog posts. truthfully, i would rather go to work and i would rather be able to sleep at night. besides, i cannot often make the smallest of decisions without tremendous stress.
now to change the subject: i dreamed of another coworker last night, the secretary. i dreamed she came to spend the night in my old, childhood home. i don't know why. she was just there.

busy day at the libary (sic)

i forgot to mention this before...we had a twenty-fifth anniversary party at the library a couple of saturdays ago. luckily, it was my day off. well, the director had shirts made up for the staff with Lincoln Library embroidered on them. the director picked them up from the store, brought them to the library. she paid for them. someone then noticed that the embroidered patches read Lincoln Libary. Libary. uh huh. right. so, no one got to wear them for the party.
today was a very busy day and i'm pooped. the circ head and i decided to move the books on CD to the shelves next to the new fiction to make room for more books on tape in the audio section. that was my job, but first i weeded the new fiction, pulling books six months old or older, de-dotted them (a highly technical term that means to remove the red dot that indicates the book is new) and sort them down. i only managed to reshelve a few later on. i'm sure this is fascinating for you, but trust me, it gave us room in audio when we had NO MORE ROOM and boy, it made many of us very happy. see, like almost any other 25 year old library, we have run out of room to put things in/on. it is an ongoing struggle to find one more space, one more shelf, one more empty spot. if i end up in hell, with my luck, i will be in charge of endlessly trying to find more room on the devil's full to brimming 'libary' shelves. with no breaks or weekends off (but plenty of hot coffee).

the beast of bray road

i just got through watching two movies and they were both pretty good. the first was Blue Demon and it was about genetically engineered sharks. six sharks were named after the Marx Brothers and the seventh shark, the rogue, was named Red Dog. the military had taken over a project to train sharks to patrol waters for terrorists. the military turned it into a project to arm sharks and blow things up. that would be our military alright...the higher-ups, not the soldiers. i like the characters a lot, though the sharks were phoney. any movie with a Little Person in it has to be quirky. if you have MVP at Hollywood Video, or Netflix, i would recommend it, but don't pay for it.
the second movie was The Beast of Bray Road and it is an Asylum production and, wow this is a first, i actually liked it! i liked the actors, they were pretty good. i liked the twist at the end. the 'creature' was just a guy in a costume, but it wasn't bad. i'm a sucker for creature features. you should check this out and it would be worth a $4 rental if you like this kind of thing. what really made the movie were the actors. the Sheriff was pretty hunky and check out the barmaid Kelly. they got pretty hot together, but alas, they did not go all the way. damn. you may never see me praise an Asylum movie again, but if they make some more movies like this, i just might.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


i had a scary dream last night. i dreamed that i was in an old apartment and a large, dumpy looking man was in my bedroom. he was their to make me quit my job (at an office, not the library) because he wanted my position. he wanted to move up in the company and he thought 'getting rid of' me would do it for him. so, i lied and called work to tell them i quit and they should give the job to Dufus. this did not appease him. he wanted to kill me and thus be assured of the job. i talked him out of killing me, or raping me and he finally left my apartment. i called 911 and heard a long, automated message about donating to hurricane victims. when i finally spoke with a person, they did not entirely believe me. finally, an officer arrived and the dream ended.
i cannot even guess the 'meaning' of this dream...and i do believe all our dreams have meanings. i can't identify the man, but he seems familiar. i was also home sick from work, in the dream. the man found me sick in bed.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

optical illusion

are the horizontal lines parallel to each other? yes, they are.

it was a cold and rainy night, again

another raw, rainy night. this rain is really getting to me. we didn't have a spring this year because it was raw and rainy and it looks like we won't have an autumn this year, either. i'm pissed because october is my favorite month and it's gone down the tubes. i love autumn. LOVE it. damn.
i missed this but a cocircworker told me about a patron that checked out some materials. the woman was carrying a baby in a cloth pouch in front of her and the baby was sucking on a fake, rubber tit! no kidding. i cannot make these things up. my coworker had to look twice, even though she really didn't want to. how gross it that? a fake rubber tit. the baby unsucked itself from it and the rubber tit looked just like a breast, fake nipple and all. now, how is the mother going to explain to her son, when he's 15 or 16 that he had a fake tit for a pacifier? and has she taken pictures of him with it in his mouth? gross. those le leeches league (sic) mothers are just nuts. i raised my kid on formula and he turned out just fine. the leeches would have one believe that a kid who wasn't breastfed until he was 5 will turn out to be a serial killer and catch all kinds of foul diseases. i'll tell you the main reason i didn't breastfeed was that i wanted to take my medication because without the medication, my kid would have never gotten RAISED at all.

george bushology

Monday, October 24, 2005

seventh, and last, celebrity crush (thank God!)

Starbuck. Dirk Benedict. either/or. this is kind of a throw-in. i don't really have a seventh celebrity crush. this is the best i could come up with. i did once think he was HOT, but i also once though Jack Nicholson was hot, and Carl Sagan was hot. well, i can't say that i wouldn't pass up some naked pics of the Dirkster. i'd take them. might take him, too. ya never know!

sixth celebrity crush

Whitley Strieber, the author. he has written the most important book in my life: Communion. when i was going through my alien abductions/dreams, i thought i was crazy. i had never heard of alien encounters, though i saw Close Encounters and ET. well, they were nothing like my experiences. Communion opened my eyes and made me feel that my experiences were not unique and someone shared them. the funny thing is, i have never read his horror novels. i have read all his 'alien' books and The Coming Global Superstorm and, i've seen The Day After Tomorrow, of course, but never his horror. my husband has read his vampire novels and enjoyed them tremendously. someday, i will read his novels. plus, he has my favourite website, and my favourite internet radio program, Dreamland. if you like strange news and weird happenings, go there. his Dreamalnd shows are free and he has a good selection of books to choose from.
another reason why i had such a crush on him for awhile was because he reminded me of my old boyfriend. he kind of looked like him and spoke like him and was a little odd, like him, but my boyfriend did not buy the alien crap. he just thought i was nuts. and so i AM!

fifth celebrity crush

Rob Zombie. what a name, what a face, what a voice, what an act, what a director! i love his music and his theatrics. he gets my blood to boiling. did you see House of a Thousand Corpses yet? no? well, get youself down to Hollywood Video and rent it, baby. then, go to Newbury Comics and buy the sountrack. i haven't seen the Devil's Rejects but i have the soundtrack (which i have't listened to yet, duh!). it was pulled from theatres around your area, too? it was too BLOODY and GOREY but that's just great horror, eh? and i bet there was no wimpy-ass runny red blood in his movie. i hate runny blood.

fourth celebrity crush

Michio Kaku. he's a physicist. a genius. i love to hear him on Coast with Art Bell. fascinating stuff. he has written one of my all time favorite books Hyperspace. he can explain physics so us dumbells can understand it. he LOVES his work, you can just hear it in his voice. see, my crushes are not just about 'looks', or actors, but fascinating people, too. oh, he is kinda cute in a scientific sorta way.

third celebrity crush

Sirius Black! oh, yummy. an escaped prisoner...seems to be a theme in my love life. he's not, technically a celebrity, but a character, but let us not get too technical here. the Order of the Phoenix was an awesome book, but remember what happened to poor Sirius? i won't tell in case you haven't read it (and why not!?). i like scraggly men as long as they don't smell bad and really, he would clean up rather nicely. and he's a little warped and bitter, but that's okay, too. i could make him forget those Dementors and all those years in Azkaban.

second celebrity crush

Alan Rickman. loved him as the villan in Die Hard, loved him as the Sheriff of Nottingham and LOVE him as Professor Snape! and the voice! ohmigod! such a lovely british accent. oh, and he was hilarios in Galaxy Quest, too. would not pass up a little nookie with him.

first of seven celebrity crushes

Brent Spiner is my biggest celebrity crush. yes, it started with Data but soon progressed to the actual actor. he's not handsome in a hunky way, a little geeky even, but he practically made me swoon. ha. not so much anymore, since i've met my husband, but i wouldn't pass up a make-out session...are we too old for that? nah!

what i did today: nothing!

well, i did nothing today and i was very happy to do it. i spent all day blogsurfing and talking with my husband. it's 1am and i am waiting for Art Bell to come on. i think he only does 2 sunday shows a month. damn. i miss him something awful.
i lit up all the pumpkins on my windowsill and after a half hour, the temerature in the room went up atleast 5 degrees. lots of candle tonight. i love to type by candle light. it's somehow easier on the eyes.
i have been having trouble editing my posts. the blog triangle thingie just spins and spins whether i want to edit or delete. the post shows up on the dashboard but not on my blog. GGGRRRRRR!
i spent a loy of time looking for free clipart. that took up atleast an hour. my butt is sore. i only have a cheap folding chair and it sucks to sit in it for any length of time. poor me!
i have nothing witty to say. i'm tired (finally) and i am not looking forward to the workday tomorrow. one of my coworkers and i had a screaming fight (she screamed MUCH louder) on thurday and monday will be the first day i have to work with her again. i really hate all the bullshit at work. there is so much of it. but atleast i did not leave the fight crying and threatening to quit like a drama queen. hurumph. maybe i should have.
did i ever mention that i HATE people. well, i do. just so you'll know. but i love bloggers.

check these out are two fun blogs i have found today. fine sketch-a-day entries and great writing on everyday situations. the other blog features great pics and comics. check out
also check out to find out what halloween events are happening in your area. very useful.
have fun!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

i'll try this one more time

well,well,well, it has worked! and i did it all by myself! tomorrow, i will have forgotten how to do this and i'll be calling for help again.
well, today was my day off. i did nothing but blogsurf and listen to Dreamland and Coast to Coast AM. my husband called me a dozen times. typical for a sunday without a visit. he gets lonely easily. it has been freakin freezing in his cell. cold air is blowing thru the vent and if he blocks it off and gets caught, he could get a two-nighter or a five-nighter...which means no visits, phone privileges or yard privileges. the prison won't turn the heat on until November 1st. anyone who reads this, please remember to walk the proverbial straight line (or walk a crooked line, but don't get caught!) because prison is no place to be. some of the inmates consider it a vacation and practically love the place. they call their girlfriends/wives/moms and boss them around on their loved ones dollar and think nothing of it. i can hear inmates over the line SCREAMING at their wives and calling them bitches and both Maniac Mike and i wonder why the wives would even accept those calls. why? and some inmates will tell their loved ones not to visit on certain days because the inmate will be BUSY! busy? in a freakin prison? sheesh, i tell ya.
well, this is enough for one post. i'll be back after my shower and tell you about some cool blogs i found today. i think i will make it a sunday feature to tell you about some cool blogs, thus helping others to get some exposure (not that I get a lot of exposure) and please tell me where to find your blog, too. thanks.

this is a test

this is just a test! okay, i am totally computer illiterate. i did not know how to download/upload pictures or clip art or anything. so, i called Hinoserm and he told me how to do this. okay, it's not spectacular, but i managed it! so, i'll try to have more pics on this blog in the future. i like picture blogs alot as long as they have some commentary, so i know what i am looking at. this pumpkin is free microsoft clipart. it's just a test and i don't like the white background, but i wanted you to see what i first saw. i'm pretty proud of myself considering what a computer dolt i am. Maniac Mike is going to buy me a digital camera for 'christmas/yule', so i can take some pics of my surroundings. i'm pretty 'glad' for that. thanks for the help, Hinoserm!

pumpkin photos

check out this fun, photoblog: the pumpkin festival looked like it was a lot of fun!

seven random facts about me

Seven Random Facts about me:
  1. i had spinal meningitis when i was 8 years old.
  2. i've had a loaded, double-barrelled shotgun pointed at me with the hammer cocked.
  3. i have my sister's 30 year old gallstones in a jar.
  4. i raised and loved a prairie dog.
  5. i learned to read and write before i went to kindergarten.
  6. i went to high school in Hawaii (McKinley High...GO TIGERS!)
  7. i'm Polish and proud of it.

vampire jokes

vampire jokes (answers in tiny print):

  1. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
  2. Why did the vampire cross the road?
  3. Why is the vampire so unpopular?
  4. What do vampires take for bad colds?

1. frost bite 2.Cross? Cross?! Did someone say cross?! 3. He's a pain-in-the-neck 4. coffin drops

Saturday, October 22, 2005

lame jokes and quiche

from a joke book: your mother is so ugly, on Halloween, she has to trick or treat by phone.

another: the cannibal passed his brother in the woods. pah-dum-dum.

we spent a good chunk of the day at work reading from a joke book a coworker brought in. it was a lot of fun. another coworker brought in quiche, bacon and orange juice and the children's librarian brought in strawberries and home fries her husband made. so, we had a FANTASTIC breakfast for our first break of the day. yum. this is the advantage to working on OUR saturdays. we have two teams and we are the A-Team. we work every other weekend. then we have the next friday, saturday and sunday off. not to shabby. this coming week is my short week AND i have Halloween off so i have a four day 'weekend'. yeah. sometimes, on rare occasions, i do like my job.

Friday, October 21, 2005

long day

hey. it's been a long day. work was okay but it was a nine-to-fiver. then, i had a visit for 6pm. i left the prison at 8:30 and took 25 minutes to get home, which was pretty good. i stopped at Hollywood Video and rented the original Amityville Horror (i am also rereading the book) with James Brolin. back then, he was a hottie. now he's Streisands do-boy. still, not so bad to look at. i'm going to snuggle up in bed with my full body pillow, goosedown featherbed and stuffed prairie dog toy and polar bear. the polar bear belonged to my husband. he used to sleep with it... well into his 30's. that is one way i knew we were a good match because i always have and always will sleep with stuffed toys. plus, a hard living, ex-junkie, motorcycle riding, tattooed punk rocker who sleeps with teddy bears is pretty darn cool in my book. anyway, i'm going to snuggle up in bed, eat cotton candy, and rewatch the original AH. alone. in the dark. but first, i will break out the Rosary and take a tranquilizer. yep, i plan on being scared.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

blog on!

hi. i've been thinking of all the posts that begin, "sorry it's been so long since my last posting". there are a lot of them out there. well, i promise never to begin a post with those words. if i take a day, or two or ten or a month off between posts, they'll be a reason for it. i'll come back. what i do promise myself is to write something every day, even if its just a quote or a paragraph. this is for my own sense of self. my need and pleasure. for you, i promise to read YOUR blogs everyday, as many as i can manage. i love your blogs. the smart ones, the cheesy ones, the day-in-a-life ones (double love those!) and even the smutty XXX blogs that have given me a little chuckle. so don't stop writing! if you have to go away for awhile, i'll still be here when you come back, along with millions of other bloggers who are fascinated by the words and lives of others. so BLOG ON!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


i wanted to mention a really cool website for snail mail and postcard fans. it is this sight enables one to send and receive postcards via snail mail from around the world. you can request up to five addresses at a time. you send 5 postcards and your name is given to 5 others from around the globe and you will receive atleast 5 postcards. it's a lot of fun and i look forward to going to my PO box, hoping for a gem. try it.


good 'morning'. i have to start getting ready for work but i wanted to check in. i had 2 long, weird library dreams last night. in one dream, the 'computer' librarian told me not to bother to buy any more clothes because she was going to sew me a shirt in every color with 'bottoms' to match.
in the second dream, circ got chewed out by some guy for not being helpful enough. he had arrived at circ requesting books on elephants and circ sent him to reference which found books for him. but he was not satisfied until he chewed us out for not kissing his ass. then, i had an old, crusty lady come to the circ desk insisting that her retarded, middle aged friend stamp her own books. so, the retarded lady came around to the our side of the desk and began to stamp everything in sight with out video date due rubber stamp. everything. i told the old lady that this was not acceptable and that i would let the retarded women stamp her books if she was on the patron side of the desk, but JUST books and not the desk, computer, phone, forehead, etc. the old lady was not happy and believed we should tolerate her friend because she was 'special'. right.
and i wonder why i wake up exhausted.


only dead fish
swim with the stream.

seven things i can do

Seven Things I Can Do:
  1. pat my head and rub my tummy
  2. remember my high school Alma Mater
  3. say "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
  4. speak/write japanese a little
  5. turn my feet out ankle to ankle
  6. walk and chew gum at the same time
  7. practice lucid dreaming

seven things i can't do

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

  1. juggle
  2. calculus
  3. drive a stick shift
  4. speak fluent japanese
  5. win at Monopoly
  6. eat a raw egg
  7. denounce Our Lady

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

pass the sacremental wine...burp

my husband was telling me that the religious leader for Medium Security brought into the prison some WINE for a church service. WINE. into prison. this is called 'introducing contraband to a correctional facility' and if she were working for the Florida prison system, she would have been prosecuted under that law. and what happened to the wine? well, someone drank it. all of it. some inmate found the booty and thought....well, what would YOU think. i'd think, "Happy Hour!"

and what DID happen to the silly bitch? not a damn thing. only in RI.


hi folks. home from work, scrubbed and fed. i ate a Stouffers Tuna Casserole. it was good but something about it bugged me. on the package, clearly marked in bold letters were the words 'No Preservatives'. well, at first i thought that was a good thing. no preservatives. good. then i got to thinking: these frozen dinners can be kept around for years, maybe being shipped in and out of freezers, thawing and refreezing. hhmmm. maybe SOME preservatives wouldn't hurt here. plus, it's a TUNA casserole. yep. give me some preservatives, please.
okay, i really have nothing to write about. it was an easy, uneventful day at work. my cocircworker had a headache and the runs. nice. other than that fascinating bit of news, nothing. so let me fill this black void by telling you a little about one of my more annoying patrons, Tweedley-Dee.
she's an older southern born and bred woman, with a page boy hairdo that is too young for her face and gray hair. she's dumpy. she's pleasant enough. whenever someone (else. i never ask) asks her how she is she says, "fair to middlin'." this makes me crazy. for God's sake lady, get a new line. fair to middlin'. sheesh. but what really makes me crazy is: she's a whistler. a little old lady whistler. a constant, none stop, whistler. but she doesn't really whistle. she just blows air threw her puckered and lined lips and occasionally makes a small whistle-like sound. she sounds like a leaky radiator only not so pleasant. and there is no tune. no rhyme or reason to the whistling. no discernable song. it's maddening. it's double, no, TRIPLE maddening when she blows her little tuneless breath IN MY FACE! there was a line at checkout, and i was happily stamping books when i felt a warm puff of air and OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, it was Tweedley-Dee blowing on me. BLOWING ON ME! those are the times i want to scream, "get the fuck outta my face!" but i need to pay rent, so i don't. i just think it. now, i really dislike old men whistlers, but atleast they can whistle a tune. maybe i should mention that we have a fine music section and wouldn't she like to whistle a tune the next time she blows her germs on me?
okay, that wasn't too funny, but i'm kinda dry tonight. cut me some slack, just this once? thanks.

Monday, October 17, 2005


today at the library i had a mom at checkout with a five year old girl in tow and a two or three year old boy in her left arm, dangling like a side of beef. the boy was grunting and scrunching up his face which was turning red. it was clear that he was taking a dump right then and there, hopefully, in a diaper.
the mom asks the kid, "do you have to go poopies?"
"grrrrr...aaaaaa....grrrrrr...ooomph", grunts the little boy.
and then the smell hits me. a huge cloud of shitstink wafts over the circ desk. and the mom asks again, "Bradley, do you have to go poopies?"
MOM! darling Bradley has already done poopies. right in front of me, like an animal. can't you smell it? it smells like the freakin' elephant house at Roger Williams Zoo! damn, mom, get with it!


since i've been blogging, i've noticed that i tend to think in blog-thought. i think in short, personal paragraphs about situations and experiences throughout my day. this is very annoying as most of the day, i cannot get to a computer or even a notebook. so, i may think in blog-thought, but i remember very little and when i do sit down to write in my blog, it's all a blogfog. also, i try to turn every little, mundane situation into a blog post. for instance, i wrote a whole blog post in my head about the wonders of Prevacid, the horror off "coffee-pain" and endoscopy just because i had a little heartburn. i wrote a little vignette about how busy the staff bathroom is with 14 women (and one man) on the staff and how every time i needed to 'go' this morning, it was occupied. seemed interesting at the time, but REALLY?
i guess this is the biggest downfall about blogging. us bloggers might think we need to include every single incident and random thought in our blogs. i don't want to fall into that trap. it is hard work editing blog-thought and trying to determine what i want to write about and what i think the blogee wants to read. not easy, is it?

seven things i say most often

these are The Seven Things I Say Most Often...

  1., this, that, off, him/her/them.
  2. freakin', as in "that freakin' bitch was too cheap to pay her 10 cent fine!"
  3. what the fuck!? as an expression of disbelief and bewilderment.
  4. yeah, right, whatever.
  5. i love my husband.
  6. "Circulation" when answering the phone at work 500 freakin' times a day.
  7. to Hinoserm: "my computer is......." messed up, not connecting to the internet, deleting my file!, making a funny noise, beeping in the middle of the night for no reason, broken, giving me a strange message, down, off and how do i turn it back on?, on and should i turn it off?

words to live by!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

seven things that scare me

i promised i'd write some "seven things", so here goes the first list:
Seven Things That Scare Me
  1. aliens. especially the kind called the Greys/Grays. the ones that look like emaciated insects, with big black almond shaped eyes. the ones that appear in my bedroom at night to fuck with my head, soul and body. yeah, THEM. you seen them, too?
  2. snakes. they don't have to big, they don't have to be poisonous. they just have to be snakes.
  3. the ocean and any deep body of water. this has been a problem since i have lived in the Ocean State and thus feared the Atlantic and i have lived in Hawaii and thus feared the Pacific.
  4. Mad Cow Disease. have you ever seen a mad cow? they're pretty scary.
  5. flying. in a plane. when i was a young girl, i wanted to be an airline pilot. i loved flying to and from Hawaii. then, in '84, i had a panic attack on a flight to France and i have been shakey about flying ever since.
  6. never seeing my pets again. no afterlife, no "heaven" where we can be reunited with loved ones. if there is a heaven and my pets aren't there, i don't wanna go. but, i believe in St Francis and i believe that everything God creates finds it's way back to God. i hope.
  7. this is the BIG fear...losing my son, my husband or my sister. i can't even contemplate that. i won't contemplate it, either.

so, what are the seven things that scare YOU?


well, here i am back in my sanctuary, the Halloween Bedroom all snug in my pj's, eating a piece of pumpernickel bread with sour cream on it, drinking an IBC rootbeer. and i'm feeling pretty happy even though i have a full day of work tomorrow. i have just got done watching the remake of the Amityville Horror and it royally sucked compared to the original. the original scared the shit out of me. this one was way too psychological and focused too much on Ryan Reynolds, whom i do not like. he did play a good homicidal psychopath. otherwise, he's just a no talent pretty boy with weird, nearly crossed eyeballs. i did not connect with anyone in the family and i downright hated the kids. they changed Jodie the pig to "Jody" the little sister that Ronnie killed. the house looked dilapidated and not the least bit scary and chopping up the family dog was just over the top. i GOT that the dad was being possessed...we didn't need to see him hack up the family pet to prove it. see, i don't mind seeing plain folk hacked to bits, but i draw the line at defenseless animals.
then i watched about 15 minutes of Human Nature. it's an Asylum production and i KNOW that Asylum pictures suck ass but i seem to get hooked on the cover images and think, "well, maybe this one will be good" and they never ARE! this movie was about some Rastafarian who went out and found women to take home to his garage to torture and mutilate while his dumb, blonde wife never suspected a thing. even when he walks in the door, his shirt soaked in blood. this was "inspired" by a "true" story. yeah. there is one thing the asswipes who made the picture didn't remember from their forensic psychology classes...serial killers are picky. white males will kill other whites and black serial killers are rare. very rare. the only one i can recall is the Atlanta Child Murderer. another reason why the movie sucked was the blood was too red and runny. gosh, i hate runny blood.
so, Amityville gets 3 slashers ///
Human Nature.../ and that's being generous!

stealing seven things

well, it's almost time for me to leave for our 4pm visit. i just wanted you folks to know that, when i get back, i plan on plagiarising from the blog he has a column called "seven things i...." that looks like it was awfully fun to do. so i'm gonna do it. but not now. no, later. because now i have to get out of my pj's and into some street clothes to go and visit my huband. i just wanted to give onkroes (steve) a chance to press charges for stealing. please convict me and put me in my husbands cell. or atleast the cell next door. we can pass love notes back and forth, and he can show me how to make a shiv out of a toilet paper roll and we could raise a pet spider named Spot and we would get visits from my son and i wouldn't have to go to WORK! oh, what a happy little family we would be.

what's wrong with me?

hey ho boys and girls. i can't believe it's almost 2:30 on my day off and i haven't posted yet. what is wrong with me, you might ask? let's see: iron deficiency anemia, pernicious anemia, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, migraines, PCOS, impaired blood sugar, CFID's, Fybromyalgia, erythromelalagia (very rare), posttraumatic stress syndrome, fibroids, colitis, and a general pain in the ass. but that's not why i haven't posted. i haven't posted because i am LAZY.
on the front page of the ProJo the other day, there was a photo of a family with 16 children! SIXTEEN! the baby maker (wife) had just given birth to the 16th. no one, NO ONE, in this day and age, should have the right to have so many kids. personally, any couple with more than one and a half kids should learn to keep their legs together and their pecker in their pants! so there! or, here's a novel idea, use birth control. or self control. we complain about welfare mothers being a drain on society...and you don't think one family with 16 brats isn't going to put a drain on or resources? oh, just so you know, the family was white as white can be. didn't read the article, but i bet they're Catholic. we Catholics love to produce. God forbid that the pope should think we were using birth control. nope, we'll show him...see...7 kids and no CONTROL! yippee. Every Sperm is Sacred!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

music!'s the music i bought with my allowance:
  • a split CD The Addicts/Vice Squad 'Live + Loud'
  • the Distillers self titled
  • Switchblade Symphony 'The Three Calamities'
  • Epoxies 'Stop the Future'
  • the Slits 'Cut'
  • UK Subs 'the singles 1978-1982'
  • the Casualties 'On The Front Line'
  • Anti-Flag 'Their System Doesn't Work for You'
  • Horrorpops 'Bring It On'
  • Sleater-Kinney 'Call the Doctor'
  • the Devil's Rejects soundtrack
  • Rock Against Bush volumes 1 and 2
  • Sepultura 'Chaos AD'

not a bad haul. so, in 2 days at Newbury Comics, i spent $210. that Guys Gone Wild thingy put me over the top. gee. i wonder if he'll give me ANOTHER allowance? Maniac Mike did like what i bought. he kinda chuckled at the guy thing. why is it a little harder for men to understand that straight women like to look at naked MEN and not other naked women? WHY o WHY would i want to look at naked women? sheesh.

music allowance all gone

good day. well, i spent my music allowance. i mentioned to my husband, kiddingly, that i need a music allowance to continue making my runs to Newbury Comics. so, he sent me $200 and now it's all gone. got a lot of tunes which i'll list in another post. i also bought 2 Witches Brew candles at Yankee Candle and another Midsummer Night because i had a coupon for $10. the Witches Brew candles are black and smell like patchouli and clove. very nice. they were on sale for 25% off, so i will probably buy more before October is done. can never have too many candles. i love walking into the bedroom when a candle has been burning for awhile. such a warm inviting, relaxing experience.
okay, along with music and candles, i also bought a Guys Gone Wild DVD. the guys were hot (most of 'em) and they were naked but that's about it. i watched. i was happy to watch, but it was no big whoop. i will tell you that I WANT to be the women that film these guys and get them to touch themselves and shower and stuff. what a hoot that would be. i imagine it doesn't earn as much as Girls Gone Wild but it has to earn more than a circulation clerk at a town library. it HAS to.
ps: all the guys were too drunk to even get stiff, never mind...y'nowing

Friday, October 14, 2005

medicine chest

i've been looking through my extensive medicine chest, reading the labels to see if the Ativan label has changed from "take one tablet by mouth twice a day" to "crush twelve tablets and snort through straw several times a day". nope, hasn't changed. why do they need to put take one tablet BY MOUTH? how else would you take a tablet? i once had Compazine suppositories that said NOT TO BE TAKEN BY MOUTH on a big label which made sense because some people may not remember that a suppository goes up your, um, okole. but how else would you take a tablet? take one tablet and shove it in your eye? take one tablet in your left hand and run around the block 3 times, naked then ram it in your ear? no, take by mouth. oh. thanks for telling me. i woulda never figured that one out.
by the way, can you snort Ativan?

*okele is Hawaiian for ass.


i'm bored. i'm fucking bored. and now i am also pissed because somehow i fucked up the last post i tried to write on being bored. so, i will try once again to write this DAMN post. i have to cool down first. breathe in, fart out. okay. better.
so, as i was saying, i'm bored. i'm as bored as a tree full of woodpeckers. i have tried many things in the past 2 hours to unbore myself. i have listened to Dreamland. bored. i have listened to Rock Against Bush volume 1. bored. i masturbated. bored. i have flipped through a zine. bored. i have taken Ativan. bored. i have tried to sleep, but i bored myself awake. i have blogsurfed. interesting but still bored. now i am drinking an IBC cream soda and listening to Rock Against Bush volume 2 and typing this and, well, i'm a little less bored, but i'm still pissed about losing the last post. see, i am normally never bored as i can entertain myself pretty well. but not lately. i think it's the Cymbalta. it has also really ruined my libido. my fantasies are sunday morning cartoons compared to the sexfests they normally are. masturbating to a good "bad" fantasy is a great boredom breaker.
i wish i was in New York City. i wish i was in Waikiki. i was never bored in Hawaii. there was so much to do. i wish i was in Boston. i'm glad i'm not in Alabama. hell, i wish i was in Providence. see, part of the problem is that i am also lonely. i miss my husband. if he were here, i would not be bored. i'd be sweaty, or satisfied, or happy or content or even arguing would be better that this loneliness. sigh. maybe i'll talk Hinoserm into finding the Armegeddon Shop (all things punk) in Providence tomorrow. i still feel pretty shitty, but damn it! i'm not gonna be bored tomorrow, too. atleast i get a visit with my husband, and, oh i have to make an appointment at the vet for my mother's cat.

i went out and came back in

i went out for a little while today. i didn't intend to. i was feeling odd and antsy and i needed to get out. i checked my mail (2 zines), deposited paycheck and went down to the mall. i don't know why i went to the mall because i had no fun there. i did buy cotton candy, a ceramic skull and some fairy postcards for my husband. i bought my sister the newest Barbie/Lucy doll. then i went to Newbury Comics and bought several CD's...Joy Division, Sepultura and Rock Against Bush volumes 1 and 2. and Gary Numan live, mission UK and a Goth compilation plus a Halloween scary sounds CD. oh, yeah, and Necrodeath. that's it. bought some Le Pens, too in different colors. thrilling day, eh. no wonder i bore myself to DEATH. sigh. i need some ACTION and i need it NOW!


i bought a new moleskin last night. i wonder why they call these notebooks Moleskins? were they once made of mole skin or was that the name of the manufacturer. i hope to God no little moles died to bring me yet more paper to write on. i wouldn't like that. i bought a lined notebook and once i got to the car, i realized i should've gotten the squared notebook but i had already unwrapped the one i bought so...

it's another weird morning. i feel strange. shakey and not quite in my body. like part of me is peeking out. it has been a terrible week. i still have a fever and i still feel shitty. the lymph nodes in my throat area are sore and swollen. i'm so happy to have this day off. no work and no visit. i would like to get to the post office and the bank, but i think i'll leave that til tomorrow and just chill today. i need to be chilled.

a new Dreamland this week...Guardians of the Holy Grail!

zine alert

i sent away for a zine about a week ago...Fish with Legs #9. it's digest sized, 36 pages and very well written. Eric Lyden has the writing style that i enjoy...a Carlinesque kind of thoughtwave. in this zine, he writes vignettes for the letters A thru I and promises the rest of the alphabet at some later date, maybe. we'll see. if you're interested in an issue contact Eric .
i love paper zines...the REAL thing. a long, long time ago i had a little zine called Some Sort of Journal. it was crude but i had fun writing it. honestly, for where i am in life, blogging makes more sense. my husband puts out a zine called The Punk Pagan. i am working on getting it into blog form. he writes it all free hand and puts it together with swiped bits of tape and cut up (without scissors) holiday cards. real DIY. i like it and i'm impartial. haha! right.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


upon this candle i will write
what i wish of thee tonight
o grant to me my secret boon
o lovely goddess of the moon
-traditional candle magic spell-

blood test

hi. i'm home. i had a blood test taken. i hated it. i can take a shot. i LOVE my b12 shots and i love the Novacaine needle that the dentist shoots into your gums to numb ya up. as long as i don't look at the needles, they don't bother me. i even had one of those nerve tests..MME's or something, where they shove long needles in your arm and hands (or legs and feet) to see if you have nerve damage and zap you with an electric jolt. i told the doc, as long as i never see a needle, i'll be fine. so, i kept my eyes closed and i swear it didn't hurt a bit. both my sister and my husband had the same test done and both said it hurt like fucking hell. my husband said he wanted to kick the doc in the balls so bad. but, didn't bother me. i used to hate IV's, too but, again, as long as i don't look, i'm okay and i have learned to love the Regaln IV's. had a biopsy on my thyroid, fine. no pain. but that fucking hurts and makes me dizzy and shakey and i feel like i slide right outta my body. slip! hate it. always have. it's the one needle i can't tolerate. i know it goes back to when i was 8 and in the hospital for meningitis. (never get a spinal tap!! NEVER!). a bitchy, mean nasty nurse vampire came in to take my blood, put the needle in, forgot to secure the tube and blood spurted all over me. and she was nasty about it, like it was my fault. shit, i nearly DIED form meningitis and here this bitch nurse is ragging on me for her stupidity. ha! anyway, i was fine today but i never get the cute kiddie bandaids anymore!

done blogsurfing and i'm all wet

i spent an hour or two blogsurfing and favorited a few...maybe a dozen. these are found jewels as far as i'm concerned. i also found Air America...ooooh, lots of swearing! lots of Liberal speak. i'm all wet!
also found out that some people have a phobia of Halloween! it's call Samhainophobia. this would be pronounced Sow-en-o-fobia. trust me. there's a Pagan in the family. i celebrate Halloween and he celebrates Samhain and gee, there's not much of a difference. i have always believed that Halloween was the best time to contact the dead and in Wicca, that is the belief as well. one myth that i have believed in and frightened my child with is: if someone were to ask you your name on Halloween, don't tell them. it is a spirit looking for a home and they will move right in and take over. hmmm..sounds like a few men i have known.
another is Pantophobia which is the fear of everything! both my husband and i have suffered from this early in life. shit, i was afraid of the bathwater after i saw Jaws! i was a chicken shit little girl but i was also badly abused and never knew what mood my mother would be in so i was always on edge and overly cautious. my husband self medicated his abuse and i would leave my body when it got too rough. yep, pantophobia. you can check out to see just what makes you scream and cower in FEAR! bwwwahhhaaaaahhaaa!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Hinoserm helped

i've taken my shower and i'm all clean (still no scrubby mitt). i feel better being warm and clean but i feel even blechier. blech. enough!

Hinoserm helped me add some things to this page: the moon phases, the counter and the links. he told me how to do it, but i couldn't follow along so i asked him if i could just tell him when i needed something and he could do it for me and he said okay. i forgot to ask him if he had a laptop i could use. i have a wireless network and it would be nice to blogbrowse in bed when i'm hurting. sitting here in front of the computer hurts after a short while. i also forgot to ask him how to add pictures and clipart junk. i am amazed and jealous of some of the blogs out there. some are like little carnivals. some art like mini art museums and fancy photo albums. i am going to blogbrowse a little while i listen to Coast to Coast (last night's show). i'm going to try to leave a pleasant message on each blog i like. maybe some encouragement. we all need that.

home again

i left work after an hour. i don't even want to talk about it. i am both royally pissed and even sicker. now my nose is running. my nose was not running when i woke up. tomorrow, i'll call the doctor. my doc is in only thurday nights. that's it. which is okay cause i don't work thurday nights. i know i don't have strep because i got swabbed at the Urgent Care saturday. every so often, i get a bout of nausea and vomiting for no apparent reason and the only thing that helps is a Reglan IV. but, this feels viral, but then again, when i first started vomiting, i thought it was a bad migraine. this is what fibromyalgia does to you. it deceives and fucks and makes one crazy. i HATE it. so i could have a virus, the flu, colitis or just CFIDs symptoms. i'm going to take some more Reglan pills. look, i'll try to be happier later but i promise nothing. so there!

i tried to call in...

it really pisses me off being sick. i hate it. i do not do sick well. i get all pissy and crappy and i'm miserable to be around. but what pisses me off even MORE is calling in to work sick and getting a sob story. one employee is on vacation and my supervisor will be late and someone leaves at 3:30 well, fuck it then. i'll go to work and spread my viral germs and puke all over the patrons (now wait a minute...that could be fun!) and generally stomp around and be miserable and make everybody else sick and miserable and SEE! see how miserable i am. sheesh! sometimes i hate my job.

all the blogs in the world!

hahahahahaha! i want all the blogs in the world! mine, all mine! well, so far, i have blogslutted myself to,,,,, and squarespace. you know what? blogger is the best. yep. don't even bother going elsewhere (live journal is the exception) because it doesn't get better than this. THIS is THE spot. no need to blogslut around. i've already done that for you. but, if you're curious, be my guest. if you know of anything better, let me know. thanks!

every sperm is sacred

okay, it's noon and i just got out of bed. listen, i'm sick as a dead dog and i had awful dream. i couldn't get out of it even when i woke up to change positions.
i dreamed i was in Afghanistan. i don't know exactly why i was there, but it was not for a vacation. some kind of humanitarian thing. i found myself running from the taliban. THE SAME TALIBAN Bush tried to remove from that country. the Taliban was on a major "get-rid-of-all-women-especially-foreigners" mission. so, i ended up running with a couple other women. we WANTED to get out of the country, but the taliban would not let us leave. they didn't want us, but we couldn't leave. they wanted to fuck with us. so, we would run and get caught several times during this dream.
in the final segment, i was "rescued" by an old, white, male missionary worker. he was creepy. very. he did keep us from being beaten. he had some kind of influence over the taliban members which i couldn't understand because he was a christian fundamentalist. a bible thumping fundamentalist. he and some iman, was teaching very young boys how to masturbate with and into empty water bottles. they were all naked and the creep was explaining how to masturbate to very young boys. maybe 5,6,7,8 years old. he later tried to tell me some bullshit story...taliban members were only allowed to screw their wives when they wanted to procreate and for no other reason, therefore, men needed a way to "relieve" the pressures of daily life so they had to have a way to do it. to relieve themselves. the creep never used the word masturbate and when i suggested that was exactly what he was teaching these boys to do and wasn't it against his religious beliefs, he emphatically denied he was teaching them masturbation. he was teaching them how to relieve themselves AND save the sperm that is not to be "spilled" on the ground. (shades of "Every Sperm is Sacred"). yeah. right. i asked him why teach boys so young and he said, they have to "get" them young to instill the correct beliefs early and often. creep. i'm so creeped out, i feel all scummy and i was the "victim" (along with the boys) in the dream. yuck. and i won't be drinking from a Dasani water bottle, because that was the brand of empty bottle they were using. blech.


a man may devote himself to death
and destruction to save a nation;
but no nation will devote itself to
death and destruction to save
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge--


i'm home, washed and ready to blog. but first, FOOD. okay, i always think long and hard about eating. not so much WHAT to eat but IF i should eat. i try not to eat at work, because i never know when the colitis, nausea or vomiting will kick in. then there's acid reflux. i would rather be hungry than hunched over a toilet bowl, watching my stomach come out my nose. but, i haven't eaten more than toast all day, so i thought i should eat a little something. right. i had a choice between a Stouffers tuna casserole or Mrs T's Pierogies (potato and onion). the pierogies won. i boiled 'em up, drained 'em, cut 'em up and added them to a bowl with less than a half a stick of butter. not an actual HALF stick of butter. that would be gross. almost half. i wolfed those puppies down and now i feel like i have siamese twins skateboarding in my tummy. damn. i hate food.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

i don't feel like it

i don't feel like writing this "morning". can't remember my dreams, don't have nothing to say. must be sick. brain must be working offline. need caffeine.

i'm having a cup of Irish Breakfast tea direct from Dublin via Stop and Shop. i'm having it with raw turbinado sugar and a dollop of half and half. my husband already called me once this morning around 8am. i remember a bit of the conversation which is good, since i usually remember nothing or even less. he'll call me again in about a half hour. he spends about $350 on phone calls a month. this is far better than the $500 or $600 he paid when he was in Florida. if i were to start a business, it would be correctional calling because i would be rolling in other people's dough. it is a HUGE business. you know who else makes money off the prison system? Bob Barker. yep. The Price is Right guy. he sells mini shampoo bottles and soap to the prison industrial complex to sell to inmates. i never liked Barker even though he does good for cats and dogs. i just thought there was something creepy about him. and how could anyone stay with one project for so long? wouldn't you want to move on, or retire or SOMETHING. how many boob flapping, white trash talking women does he need to fondle (ok, i've never seen him fondle a CONTESTANT) before he has enough? i would of made my money and been out of there toot-sweet.

all those game show hosts are creepy. Alex Trebec? does he still live with mommy? and the guy that now hosts Hollywood Squares (now there's a lame bit of unentertainment)....whats his name? Tom Bergeron? i used to watch him in the 80's when he was hosting People Are Talking out of Boston. i like him then. then he started to pop up everywhere, and he's not aging well and voila, game show freak. going from a decent talk show to Americas Funniest Videos to a game show is going the wrong way in life.


ever think about the daily rituals we all share. take showering. washing.
i have a shower ritual. i don't think about it, i just do it. it varies little. i always shower when i get home from work. if i'm not going to leave the house again, i shower. i shower at night. i rarely shower in the morning because i am always running late in the morning and i would rather sleep for 5 more minutes.

before the water is ever turned on, i check my supplies. new razor, paper towels for wiping the floor, soap, washcloth, towel, scrubby mitt, shampoo, Q-tips, deodorant, powder and perfume. all in place. good. now i can turn on the water.

i may light a scented candle.

i brush my teeth.

i test the water to make sure it's not too hot or too cold. i step into the shower. shampoo first, soap up, scrub, rinse. done. step out onto paper towels and begin drying from the top down. put my long hair up with a big clippy thing, shave whatever needs shaving. put on Degree Shower Clean deodarant and baby powder. clean my ears with Q-tips. pluck whatever needs plucking. check for zits. walk to the bedroom and put on PJ's. towel dry hair. done. squeaky clean (and exhausted).

except tonight, i didn't have my scrubby mitt! oh GOD, the horror! i buy scrubby mitts at the dollar store a few at a time, so i usually have one on hand. i use one a week. i forgot that i threw the last one away yesterday and i forgot to go to the dollar store. so, there was no scrubbing in my routine tonight and boy do i feel dirty. sigh. there's nothing like removing dead skin to make one feel good.

please send condolences. thanks.

blog surfing

i've spent the last couple of hours blog-surfing and i've only found a handful of blogs that interest me. only a handful, but they ARE good. i'm looking for personal blogs about daily life. all the in's and out's, trappings and omissions of one-day-after-another. nothing spectacular. i'm not looking for a circus, though freak shows are welcomed with open arms. what i am NOT looking for are mommy blogs. y'know, blogs all about staying at home with the little dears, recording every little poop and pee. nope. been there, done that myself. and i bored myself silly! yep, it's a HARD job being a mom, no doubt. but i raised my little boy and i'm all done with mommyhood. and i don't want daddy blogs either. blah.

not into anime, techobabble, "princesses", bible thumping, gamers, sports, and superhappy people.

i like misery, friskiness, freaks, bibliophiles, some erotica, punks, goths, people MY age, working stiffs, animal lovers, computer illiterates, left wing nutcases, free speechers, swearers, weirdos, the everyman/woman, and just plain talk. i want to hear about how sucky your job is and how fucked up your life can be and all the little things that make up a day in the life. tell me what you found on the sidewalk while walking from your car to your front door. tell me who fucked you over and how you plan to get back at them. tell me your favorite flavours, favorite tunes, favorite positions, favorite things. write like you talk. don't be somebody else. be YOU. just a thought.

Monday, October 10, 2005


what difference does it make to the dead,
the orphans and the homeless; whether
the mad destruction is wrought under
the name of totalitarianism or the holy
name of liberty or democracy?

unsafe bloggin

i've been practicing unsafe blogging. i've been signing up for all kinds of blogs and online journals, willy nilly. no rubbers, either. i do like because it is super easy, but Blogger is my favorite. i'll keep live journal because i like the penguin emoticoms (emoticons?) . there are so many blogs out there! my GOD! i have found only a handful that i really like. some are fantastic and i am jealous and some are just glorified ads, and some must be failed experiments and some are cutesy. i don't prefer one type over another. i like anything that tickles my fancy. it's a lot of fun, bloghopping. and a lot of work. it requires patience. but when i find a good blog, it's like hitting the motherload!


i'm having a cup of tea in one of my many mugs. i was thinking about all the "collections" i have. geez, i collect a lot of junk. no wonder i have no room for anything in my 4 room apartment.

  • mugs. i am drinking out of a mug from the American Museum of Natural History. i usually pay no more than 50 cents for a mug and i have gotten most of them from Aunt Sally's. my favorite mug is black with funky penguins on it that my son found at a yard sale for 10 CENTS!
  • stickers, papers, scissors and general mail art stuff
  • punk music, of course
  • penguins, double of course. my mother-in-law just sent a penguin statue and some ornaments from Kansas City. the statue features a mom or dad and baby. one of the baby's flippers broke off! the largest penguin i have is about 2 feet tall, plastic, from Newbury Comics. his name is CP which stands for Corporation Penguin. my son named him from a Beatles song.
  • candles...especially Yankee Candles. i love the Witches Brew halloween scent and color (black).
  • pumpkin tealight holders. i have them displayed on my Halloween Bedroom windowsill and when they are all lit up, it's quite beautiful. i have 12 of them.
  • Halloween items, natch!
  • pillowcases...Disney, Spongebob, etc
  • silver jewelry, white gold and platinum. my sister and our prairie dog would shop QVC for me and they both had great taste in jewelry. i especially like gemstone rings and earrings. i have a couple of charm bracelets. i do LOVE charms. my favorite charms are a prairie dog and jack-o-lantern with a hinged lid which was the first charm i was given. my son bought it for me many years ago.
  • books. UFO books. books to alter. vampire novels. i don't buy many books because i work in a library and read my favorite fiction authors stuff out of borrowed books. i buy non-fiction from the library account, or, Barnes and Noble or Amazon. there is a second hand store that i frequent called Second Hand Looks. i no longer will shop at Borders because they totally fucked up the Harry Potter release!
  • Fortean Times Magazines
  • Fukagawa Porcelain...the grape leaf pattern
  • postcards. i send them to my husand. try for fun!
  • journals and blank books. can never seem to entirely fill one before i move on to another.
  • lollipops. this is a fairly recent obsession. i have all kinds of them. my favorites are: skeletal hands with a red pop, lollipops with realistic candy spiders in them, light up star shaped pops and Chupa Chups yogurt flavored pops. i bought some marijuana flavored pops at Newbury Comics and they are gross. blech! i don't know WHAT i was thinking!
  • childrens board books. i have a project in mind for them...something like the project. or i'll use them as journals or send them out for a mail art project.
  • japanese bands, preferably punk bands.

well, that's about it. i'm sure i left something out. i really need to curb my collections. they are getting out of hand!

another day

i slept well last night. i had weird dreams this morning that i can't recall now. they were busy dreams. i've had milk and a chocolate chip cookie from Panera bread for breakfast. my husband called at 8am and he's doing okay but he can't remember if he took his blood pressure meds. he was able to wrangle a Xanax yesterday, so he slept well and he was pretty laid back.

i'm listening to an old broadcast from unknowncountry with Ray Fowler, a Ufologist from Massachusetts. i guess he has a new book out. how did i miss that one? my ufo/alien book collection is pretty big and i try to get them as they come out. i have been waiting for Strieber to publish his next book which is supposed to be about the Grays. this show is about Ray's book and synchronicity. i love synchronicities. sometimes they freak me out but most of the time, they "feel" good.

here's a weird one: on July 4th 1997, i ran out of gas coming home from work. this has NEVER happened to me before. Never and hasn't happened again since. this was in RI. i was single at the time and wouldn't meet my husband until 2002. on the very same day in Florida, Mike ran out of gas running from his 7/11 heist. this lead to him going to prison and us getting together. bizarre yet, elegant. was it meant to be?


i stopped by Hollywood video on the way home and rented some movies. i have five.

  1. Cup of My Blood a seemingly random accident leaves photographer Jack Fender in possesion of one of Christianity's most Holy Relics. He must confront Evil's relentless assault of blood, murder and deceit for the preservation of the faith and the salvation of his soul."
  2. Creepies deadly spiders, military, weapons of mass destruction, demolishing cities.
  3. Human Nature inspired by a true story "HM documents the shocking life of a married man who abducts and tortures women in his garage, while keeping his wife, who longs for his attention, in the dark."
  4. The Beast of Bray Road based on a true story "for years an unidentified creature (werewolf) hunted the backwoods of Walworth County. then one night, it came to town."
  5. The Revolting Dead "an ancient evil rises only for revenge."

so, i have them until friday. i did want the new Amityville Horror but they were out. i think these will keep me entertained and no, these will not give me nightmares. only alien movies and some ghost stories give me nightmares. even Close Encounters of the Third Kind still freaks me out.

home again

well, i'm back from my visit. it was a good one. the 6pm visits are the longest ones. the next visit won't be until thursday @ 6pm again. Mike rehashed some stories from his past including stories about a Dominatrix named Joetta. she was really something. beating men was her full time job. she called the men "clients" and made pretty good money. no, Mike was never a client, but they had an affair and became good friends later. Joetta actually had a live in slave who loved being treated badly. he had Tourettes and everyone called him Mike the Blasphemer. neither the slave or any of Joetta's clients were ever allowed to touch her. hmmm...i could enjoy work like that. i would gladly quit the library for a dungeon, a whip and some really naughty men who need some discipline.

now back to the subject: Maniac Mike had a Coke and some pretzels and we talked and held hands like we always do. the visit takes place in a big room with individual tables that can sit four. we must sit across from each other and cannot touch each other above the elbows. we get one kiss and a hug at the start of the visit and another kiss and hug at the end. the visits SUCK big time. he is in Medium Security but it is run more like a Max facility. tonights visit lasted from 6pm to 8:30pm. visits are either at 1pm, 4pm or 6pm and change during the week. visitors have a dress code to follow and we must pass through a metal detector. occasionally, they'll spring a random drug test on us, usually around a major holiday. it is all very tedious.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

name deleted

I work in a middle class small town library. i am a circulation clerk. i do not have a degree of any kind. i make about $11 and hour. circulation handles EVERYTHING in this library. we not only check in and check out books and media, we handle any circulation issue from renewing material to calling patrons to let them know their reserved items are in. we also shelve books, clean, place holds, and do what should be reference work. we are the front line and all the morons get to us first. we get shit on, even for other libraries' mistakes and bad service! we all have other jobs, too. i mend books and do some processing when tech needs a hand. i make sure the applications are in order and i send out notices. i'm responsible for my sections which are fiction Mc-Z, mystery, sci-fi and new fiction. we also process the daily delivery of interlibrary loans, something that is handled by paraprofessionals at other libraries. to make it short, circ does all the dirty work and if it weren't for circ, there would be no library. okay, we need books, too. so, if it weren't for books, DVD's and circ, there would be no library. and don't get me started about the DVD's!

if you want to "see" the library and what is going on, you can find us at (deleted). we have many programs and we are always busy doing something. we badly need a new library and more space. we service Lincoln and several other nearby towns where patrons prefer our service to their own town libraries...many of them have NEW facilities. between 300 to 700 patrons walk through our doors almost daily and we are part of the Clan network that allows libraries to share materials via interlibrary loans.

i have to say that i do enjoy my work, though i long for retirement but that is mostly because i deal with illness daily and some days are killer. it is hard, physical work and taxing on the brain and dealing with the public, especially a public that believes everything in the library is donated and, therefore, not worth any care because it's FREE, is very difficult. ("fines? FINES!!!????) but, it all works out, somehow.