Sunday, October 16, 2005

movies

well, here i am back in my sanctuary, the Halloween Bedroom all snug in my pj's, eating a piece of pumpernickel bread with sour cream on it, drinking an IBC rootbeer. and i'm feeling pretty happy even though i have a full day of work tomorrow. i have just got done watching the remake of the Amityville Horror and it royally sucked compared to the original. the original scared the shit out of me. this one was way too psychological and focused too much on Ryan Reynolds, whom i do not like. he did play a good homicidal psychopath. otherwise, he's just a no talent pretty boy with weird, nearly crossed eyeballs. i did not connect with anyone in the family and i downright hated the kids. they changed Jodie the pig to "Jody" the little sister that Ronnie killed. the house looked dilapidated and not the least bit scary and chopping up the family dog was just over the top. i GOT that the dad was being possessed...we didn't need to see him hack up the family pet to prove it. see, i don't mind seeing plain folk hacked to bits, but i draw the line at defenseless animals.
then i watched about 15 minutes of Human Nature. it's an Asylum production and i KNOW that Asylum pictures suck ass but i seem to get hooked on the cover images and think, "well, maybe this one will be good" and they never ARE! this movie was about some Rastafarian who went out and found women to take home to his garage to torture and mutilate while his dumb, blonde wife never suspected a thing. even when he walks in the door, his shirt soaked in blood. this was "inspired" by a "true" story. yeah. there is one thing the asswipes who made the picture didn't remember from their forensic psychology classes...serial killers are picky. white males will kill other whites and black serial killers are rare. very rare. the only one i can recall is the Atlanta Child Murderer. another reason why the movie sucked was the blood was too red and runny. gosh, i hate runny blood.
so, Amityville gets 3 slashers ///
Human Nature.../ and that's being generous!

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