tweedley-dee

hi folks. home from work, scrubbed and fed. i ate a Stouffers Tuna Casserole. it was good but something about it bugged me. on the package, clearly marked in bold letters were the words 'No Preservatives'. well, at first i thought that was a good thing. no preservatives. good. then i got to thinking: these frozen dinners can be kept around for years, maybe being shipped in and out of freezers, thawing and refreezing. hhmmm. maybe SOME preservatives wouldn't hurt here. plus, it's a TUNA casserole. yep. give me some preservatives, please.

okay, i really have nothing to write about. it was an easy, uneventful day at work. my cocircworker had a headache and the runs. nice. other than that fascinating bit of news, nothing. so let me fill this black void by telling you a little about one of my more annoying patrons, Tweedley-Dee.

she's an older southern born and bred woman, with a page boy hairdo that is too young for her face and gray hair. she's dumpy. she's pleasant enough. whenever someone (else. i never ask) asks her how she is she says, "fair to middlin'." this makes me crazy. for God's sake lady, get a new line. fair to middlin'. sheesh. but what really makes me crazy is: she's a whistler. a little old lady whistler. a constant, none stop, whistler. but she doesn't really whistle. she just blows air threw her puckered and lined lips and occasionally makes a small whistle-like sound. she sounds like a leaky radiator only not so pleasant. and there is no tune. no rhyme or reason to the whistling. no discernable song. it's maddening. it's double, no, TRIPLE maddening when she blows her little tuneless breath IN MY FACE! there was a line at checkout, and i was happily stamping books when i felt a warm puff of air and OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, it was Tweedley-Dee blowing on me. BLOWING ON ME! those are the times i want to scream, "get the fuck outta my face!" but i need to pay rent, so i don't. i just think it. now, i really dislike old men whistlers, but atleast they can whistle a tune. maybe i should mention that we have a fine music section and wouldn't she like to whistle a tune the next time she blows her germs on me?

okay, that wasn't too funny, but i'm kinda dry tonight. cut me some slack, just this once? thanks.