when's the next pay day?

okay, pay days are good days and bad days. good because i have money. bad because i spend money. spending money on things i don't really need is an addiction. it feeds some need. like cutting without the pretty scars. but spending is so much worse than cutting. i can cut and still pay the rent. if i spend: no heat, no phone, no food, no gas and potentially, no home.

thursday is pay day. this past thursday, i went straight to the bank to make the deposit, like a good girl. then, i went to Sally Beauty Supply to feed my nail polish fix. it's October and i needed black polish. i found it...Orly brand called liquid vinyl. it's black as death, black as the ace of spades, black as a starless night. get it? it's black. then i also bought one called orange punch. i bought orange stick cuticle pushers, a nail massage oil called Proclaim which has done wonders for ridding hangnails in just 3 days, a product called FAST that fast dries polish and is a hard topcoat, Amplifusion shampoo and volumizing gel. the shampoo is great but the gel isn't and i'm returning it. so, i spent $32 and all i really needed was black nail polish. we won't even begin to discuss what i spend at Hallmark card stores.