Thursday, March 30, 2006

i need a few days

i might not be writing for a few days; i'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. one more panic attack and i'll fall over the edge.
work was the shits; the more we use the new system, the more we see how retarded it is.
a couple of days ago, i mentioned Claims Returned: well, the lady who insisted she returned the audiobook brought it in today. it was under her car seat which was just where my circhead suggested it might be. did we get an 'i'm sorry'? nooooooooooooooooo!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


the children's librarian has a stalker. he comes in to use the computer and he's a real piece of shit. the first thing he does when he comes in is to go over to the children's room and talk to our librarian. this last time, he cornered her in the back area of the kid's room, where it is sort of dark and not visible from our circdesk and asked her if she could read him a story. like that is original? she told him he would have to be twelve or under. he knows she is married, too, because she has told him several times. after he was brushed off, he used a computer. we have since found out that he sells sporting goods online on a very poorly maintained website and he has another website dedicated to making marijuana legal. so, when he conducts his business over our computers, we wonder just what he is doing. he is the guy we have to tell over and over again that he cannot use a cell phone in the building. he always tries to brush us off and he often tells us he is conducting important business and it's an important call. oh, well then, please keep talking, asshole! now, when he heads over to the kid's room, one of use runs over there, stands nearby pretending to sort books, or we pretend we have an important question to ask our librarian. this seems to muddle him up and he rushes out of the library.
does he really think he can win over our intelligent, sweet and married librarian?! honestly, i wonder what goes through this losers mind! (i probably do not want to know!)

more Millennium

one of the entertaining things about getting a new system is to read all the frantic e-mails from other libraries. people are clearly upset. we can practically hear them crying or yelling through the computer monitor. some have great questions but most are more like: Why can't i do this? or Why can't i find that? one library wanted to know why only 2-letter codes were popping up for ILL delivery addresses (rather than our previous 3-letter codes). this was covered months ago and we all wondered where they have been. so, now they have no idea where to send things which is understandable because the 2-letter codes are very confusing. Still, if their circhead or the ILL staff had a clue, if they attended even one training session, they would've had the chart of codes a long time ago. i can only imagine the chaos they are in 'down' there.
we had all decided, during our last system 'upgrade', that we would not post any e-mails, frantic or otherwise, because we really did not want other libraries to know how truly dumb we could be. we figured we'd let other libraries appear stupid and learn from the answers they received from their questions. finally, those libraries were asked to tone down their 'nastiness' and to have all e-mails approved through data processing. it was really awful. i hope it doesn't deteriorate to those lows again (but it's not looking good).


Millennium is up and running, for the most part. we still could not check in holds and bib records are all over the place. they need to be merged. one of our worst patrons, a real bitch, called us 4 times to ask why her holds were not showing up on her card. she was using our public system at home. she was upset and angry and frantic about her lost holds. lady, this is not a life or death situation. you are not going to die because you lost a couple of holds. we told her they would probably show up tomorrow, or are waiting in the ILL delivery that we cannot check in. if they don't show up tomorrow, we will rerequest them. whenever she calls the library she will reply to our "hello, circulation" by reading off her library card number. no hello, no "this is...", just a number. today i had to stop her and ask, "first, what is your question?" and she got all huffy on me.
otherwise, people were very patient and it wasn't the horrible day that i imagined it would be. we all managed very well, though some are more lost than others. i was lucky tonight as i got to work with the circworker who trained us and she knows much more than our circhead and does not get so flustered.
i issued my first 'live' card tonight to an entitled non-mother new to our town. she had her little 2 year old brat with her. she yammered on as i tried to work the system and i finally said that i would be happy to answer all her questions AFTER i finished entering her card. she didn't like that. when i presented her new card to her to sign, i also offered her a blue permanent marker (all our cards are signed with this blue marker). she asked, "oh, can i sign in black ink. i do everything in black." hmmm. she didn't look Goth. i told her, "no. we ask everyone to sign with a blue marker." fucking nutcase. she wanted to plant her kid in the children's room and work on an adult computer in the next room. i told her that her child was too young to be unsupervised. so, while this non-mother was on the computer her kid: tried to engage the reference librarian in a game of hide and seek in the nonfiction stacks; ran out a door and into the foyer where she got her finger stuck in the bubbler; took our toy Mailbox (Blue's Clues) and emptied all our goodies out of it; tripped up several patrons; kept banging on the toddler computer while 2 staff members tried to shut it down (they would tell her not to touch then she would laugh and bang the keyboard). the second time she ran out into the foyer (she had to open our heavy entrance door to get out) i paged, "if you have a young child, she is in the foyer. please come and get her" knowing full well where the mom was. the girl whined and cried an threw things all the while mom is talking to herself while using the computer. i was shelving books and i heard this woman tell the girl that she had a lollipop and to come and get it. i went over to her and told her we did not allow food to be consumed in the library and she replied, "i'm only telling her i have a lollipop so she'll come here. i don't have one." so, of course the kid whined for the lollipop for a half an hour. i hope to God i never see them again. if she does show up again, and more of the same occurs, we were told to get the PIC and they will ask her to leave. i just wish we could revoke library cards for bad behavior...and stupidity.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

the saddest part of prison

Maniac Mike and i had a visit tonight. although our visit went well, it was also clouded by a snippet of conversation from the table next to ours. a large (tall and fat) white woman was sitting at that table with her young son. her boyfriend, the child's father, was a small, short black man. the woman looked sour and the child was distracted and fidgety. i think it is too much to ask a kid to remain sitting and quiet for a two and a half hour visit. he did not once misbehave. infact, i didn't hear him speak much or engage in any meaningful way with his father (or his mother for that matter). at one point, the woman spoke loudly to her boyfriend, " you have five other kids. how are you going to take care of mine?!" the man smiled widely and spoke, and the woman replied, "i don't care what you do with those other kids! i only care about my son!" at one point the woman cried. through it all, the boyfriend smiled and the little boy kept his head down, played with his laces and squirmed. i felt bad for him. i often see and hear parents fighting right in front of their children, often fighting about their children and about the father's other women and children. why would a parent bring a child for a visit and do and say these things in front of him (or her)? this man did not look like he could bare the responsibility of being anyone's father. even when the woman cried, he smiled and laughed. he tapped his hands on the table like he was playing the drums. he shook a plastic box of card and at one point, started singing to himself. he told the woman he was hungry and the child said that he was hungry, too. mom got up to get her boyfriend a danish from the vending machine but got her kid nothing. she told the kid that they would eat "after the visit, on the way home". the visit ends at 8:30! the poor kid had to sit through that entire visit hungry! lady, fuck your low-life boyfriend, feed the kid! he has to wait until 8:30 for his supper? unbelievable. these poor kids always suffer. they suffer in a million ways and it really is the saddest part of prison.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

yes, we have no computers!

it was a very easy day today even though we were one worker short. seems my circhead had yet another day off (and the director wasn't pleased because she didn't even get 24 hours notice...but she gave it to her anyway. i don't know why my circhead just doesn't ask for every damn thursday off, cause she is never in.) even though the server was upgraded today, we were still able to keep circ up and running thanks to the nice 'server guy'. all our public computers, including catalogs had to be shut down. i cannot tell you what pleasure we took out of telling our farty old regulars that they could not use a computer today. oh, the joy! the two of us were dancing on a cloud. one fart had his card out, jabbed it in my face and said, "computer." and i said, "oh, i AM so sorrrrrry. our computers are down for the day." the look on his face was priceless. i wish i had a camera. another fart, a real jerk who likes to cut in front of our female patrons while they wait in the checkout line, because he cannot wait 6 extra seconds while we finish checking them out, walked up to the desk, laden with manila folders brimming with papers. my cocircworker got him. he didn't even bother to look up...he just thrust his card out and asked for a computer. i could see the smile on my coworkers face, "i'm sorry. our computers are down for the day." SNAP! his head shot up. he had a wild look in his eye, "you mean, ALL DAY?!" still smiling, "yes, all day!" hahahahahahaha! i love it! then the middle school brats marched in. most of them saw the huge out of order signs on the computers and the sign at the desk that read that we were down. but one little fucker, oh and he is a fucker, a fucking brat still tried to get a computer. he is in the library every single day after school sometimes as late as 7 o'clock. he once told another student that he had to stay in the library because his parents did not trust him to be home alone. he's 15. and we know he cannot be trusted. he's a smart ass, little shit and we all hate him. once, we had a woman in the childrens room breast feeding her baby (la leech!). the little shit stood in front of her staring at her. he was finally told to leave. anyway, we knew he saw the signs and the sign on the desk because he stood there and read it in front of us, yet he still asked if the computers were down. then he asked how long they would be down and why they were down. then he asked if they were ALL down. we curtly answered his questions and he went away. five minutes later, he's back and asks if computer 'H' was working. my coworker said, "when we told you before that all the computers were down, we meant that ALL the computers were down!"
the first person to ask for a computer this morning was no better.
lady: can i use a computer?
me: i'm sorry, they're down for the day.
lady (making weird 'oh' motions with her lips): they're down. i seeeeeeee. hmmm. well, i just need to use the internet for a minute.
me: i'm sorry. the computers are not working at all today.
lady: sooooo, i can't get a computer?
me: no. i'm sorry.
lady: well, i won't be long.
me: sorry.
lady: well, what can i do?
me: you can't use our computers today. they will be working tomorrow.
lady: well, can i go to another library?
me: er, sure. our library is the only one affected.
lady: i seeeeeee.
(really, she dragged out her words all the while making weird lip movements.)
lady: well, could i go to Cumberland?
me: yes.
lady: what about North Smithfield?
me: yes.
lady: i guess i could go to Greenville. it's on 44, right?
me: yes, it is.
lady: well, no, maybe Providence. where's Providence?
in walks the director. she hears the question and tells her where the Providence library is.
Lady (to director): the computers are still down, right?
this is where i walk away muttering to myself about the freakin' lunatics that seem to wander in off the streets for no other reason than to mess with my head. finally, the lady says that Providence would be too much trouble so she may go to North Providence. sometimes, i think people are so lonely in life that they pop in just to engage in some form of human contact. it's sooooo saaaaaaaad.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Claims Returned

often times, a patron will believe they returned an item though it is still checked out on their card. when we look for the item on our shelves (thinking we mught have missed the checkin laser) and can't find it, we have the option of 'claims returned'. CR means that neither the patron or the staff can find the item, but we do not want to take the item off the patron's card. we just hope it will show up. eighty percent of the time, the patron has the item and eventually finds and returns it. what kills me is not ONCE has a patron who finds a CR item ever brought the item to our attention. they just sneak it in the bookdrop (in or outside) and hope, i guess, they we don't catch it. but we do catch it. it shows up on their card that the item has been returned. so, when i get them, i always say something like: "oh, i see that the Strawberry Shortcake DVD finally showed up." i pause while the patron half-smiles. "so, did you find it or did we?" then the patron admits they had it all along. this is particularly gratifying when the patron was an asshole that insisted they would never 'steal' an item and they don't have it, blah blah, blah.
today, we had a lady insist she returned an audiobook, but it was still on her card. we had already looked for the item, but we looked again. couldn't find it so we offered her CR. she was cool with it and she was a regular, so we took her word and end of story, right? nope. she had to go on and on about the day she returned the item. "it was March 1st and i made a special trip to the library that day JUST to return that CD book. the time was 2:26 and 52 seconds, the weather was partly cloudy and you were wearing a pink blouse and black pants." (ok, i made the last bit up.) she then went on about how she listened to it on her trip and she finished with it and returned it on the afternoon of March 1st. now, i cannot for the life of me remember what i was doing March 1st. i don't remember what i did any part of the day, let alone what i returned or borrowed that day...and i work in the library. so, i start to disbelieve her...she HAS the damn audio, i can feel it! and what's this bullshit about a special trip to the library? she is in the place every week, often a couple times a week and we are not in, oh, Manhattan! Jesus H Christ!
i am so tired of all the stories. stories to get out of paying fines, stories to get out of paying for lost items and stories so that they do not have to admit they might be WRONG! do these people have a story for everything? is every little thing a major production? how do they get through their days? it really shouldn't be so difficult.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

may i have your CARD!

several times a day, a patron will bring up items to be checked out. they will place them nicely on the desk and then...just stand there. sometimes, they say 'hi' and i'll say 'hi' back. they just stand there. so, after a beat, i ask them for their library card and they gasp and say something along the lines of, "oh, yes, you need my card." yep, i do. i'm sure i have moaned about this before, but it was particularly bad night for this. i MUST know, do these people stand at the grocery checkout and must be prompted by the cashier to cough up the dough?
then i had a nasty, large, bully of a woman come into the library tonight and demand a computer with a color printer. actually, first she asked for a 'computer color copier' and i had to figure out if she meant a color copier or a color printer. i told her that our two computers that have a color printer attached were being used by patrons and they had some time to go. she said, "i just need it for 2 minutes!" i told her i understood, but patrons were using the computers, they were guaranteed an hour and i would not bother them. she said, "i will go ask them. it's just 2 minutes! i need my paper for class! i have class!" then she asked me what i meant by 'patron'. i answered, "PEOPLE. people were using the two computers with a color printer!" she was so pushy and nasty and belligerent. i told her that she will NOT bother my patrons and she continued to yell that she needed papers for her class. finally, i sent her to reference and before she got there, i got ahold of the reference librarian and told her this lady was nasty and i know she heard me. i also asked the reference librarian to tell the lady there was a 50 cent per page charge for color copies and the woman yelled, "i will pay 10 DOLLARs! just give me my papers! i need them for Class tonight, right now!" i don't know how she got her papers, but she paid my cocircworker for them because she did not want to talk to me again. YAY! she really did think nothing of interrupting another patron, ask them to stop what they were working on (one kid was working on a school paper), ask them to get up and let her sit her fat ass down to do her own work. another patron who just checked on to a computer with no color printer offered to wait so she could use his computer (a nice young man), but it just made things worse becasue i had to tell the bully that that computer had only a black and white printer and she didn't BELIEVE me. like, i was lying. oh dear God, i hate people! why did you make so many nasty ones? (and why do the frequent libraries?)
i also had another woman who wanted to pick up a book that her friend put on hold. our policy is, if the person who the hold is for cannot make it in, they must call us to let us know who will pick it up. before my time, we had a very bad experience with a husband and picked up a book for the other which the other did not want his or her spouse to see. i heard that the fallout was very bad and the town got involved. so, we try to be strict(er) about this. anyway, the woman wanted to call her friend on her cell phone and have me use her phone to talk to her friend. i DO NOT want anyone's nasty, germ infested cell phone anywhere near my face, so i gave her the library # and asked her friend to call me. argh! it is never easy. then, the same woman returned a DVD with no DVD in the DVD case and i, luckily, caught her as she was leaving to give her the case back so she could collect the DVD. she asked, "so, this means i have to come back?" duh, yeah, unless you want to pay for the DVD outright. so, she came back before we closed. she gave me the complete DVD set and picked out two more DVDs and stepped up to the counter. she didn't have her card. it was in the car. so, since i knew her name from earlier, i just looked her up and checked her out rather than have her go to her car. this is another thing about cards i don't understand. if you know you are going to the library, if it is a planned trip, why do these people not make sure they have their cards on them? it's not that hard, is it?
we had a man come in to search our lost and found for his winter jacket that he lost "a couple of weeks ago." we had another man leave a printed (out) copy of his completed tax return (with every bit of personal info) in one of our printers. we had another kid leave his completed book report in the printer. the printers are right next to the computer, too. we could not reach either of them tonight. other than that, the night wasn't too bad, but i am getting increasingly worried about the switch. i really dread that.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Holy Rollers

if you need to be told what and who to pray for, you might want to check out this site. personally, i pray that we won't vote any more right-wing, fundamentalist nutcases into the White House.

yes, we live at the library

we had a cute little boy, who is a regular patron, visit us today. my cocircworker was checking him out when she said to him, "i saw you at the supermarket the other day." the boy looked a little puzzled and said, "you were at the supermarket? how can you be at the supermarket when you were HERE, at the liberry??" my cocircworker replied, "sometimes they let us go shopping." this appeased him. yes, we live at the library 24/7 and we get day passes to do our grocery shopping. sometimes, we even get a nap in the bookdrop bin.
one thing that has always puzzled me...why do some people come to the library every single day just to read one newspaper. we have an old creep who arrrives just after we open every day to read the Providence Journal. every single morning. if it's 9:01 and we haven't got the paper out yet, he comes to the desk and asks where it is. i make him wait until all the computers are up (they usually are but sometimes we are short staffed. tech is supposed to handle the papers, but if they are not in, we process the papers. also, technically, we only get paid from 9am, though we every day...start opening up at 8:45 or 8:50. off the clock.) it's not like this guy is hurting for cash, either. hell, he can spend the gas money to come to the library every day to read a 50 cent newspaper. when it's 9:30, when the director finally gets her ass to work, not that she ever does any work, the man will walk right into her office, no knock or anything. i guess they are 'friends' which really creeps me out. she has a lot of old male friends. it's so gross. my director is younger than i am by a couple of years, but she has elderly male acquaintances.
another thing that pisses me off...everyone moans about our director. she's a BOSS, not a director. she's a micromanager that cannot keep her own office in order. she literally has paper dispersed on every surface and on the floor. there is food buried under mounds of old papers, mounds of paper and magazines on the two chairs in her office. it's embarrassing. anyway, this morning, two coworkers moaned about having to set up the directors one and only program. but then, come 10:30, these same people rush into the breakroom with her to have their break. WTF? of course, taking a break with the boss means you can stretch your 15 minute break to 30 minutes, so i guess there is an advantage. meanwhile, little circworkers cannot take our breaks because the staff room is full, no chairs or table space and no peace and quiet. so, we wait. same thing with lunch, only worse, because now we cannot use the microwave because everyone else is using it. yet, circstaff must finish lunches before 2pm or our circhead gets reamed by our boss who hogs the break room with the very same people who claim they do not even want to be near her. GRRRRR!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Fighting in the visiting room

well, not actual fist fighting, just a really loud bitch yelling, kicking and slapping her man. i could only hear her when she hollered, so i don't know what the fight was about but there were an awful lot of fuck you's coming out of her mouth. several times, she'd kick the guy under the table. she slapped his hands and arms and threw wadded up Hershey Kiss wrappers at him. there was an awful lot of finger pointing and slapping motions. and boy, could she bitch. a solid hour of nonstop bitchery. wow. now, this is somewhat unfair as the visitor really has all the power during a visit. the guy can't do anything without risking big trouble. so, he just sat there and took it. maybe he deserved it and maybe not, but she was nasty. Maniac Mike said that if i were to go nuts and start screaming, he would calmy ask me to leave and stand up...which ends the visit. once the inmate stands up, the visit is over. i can't think why i would scream at him, though.
there are a set of brothers who committed their sex crime TOGETHER and they are housed together (which is damn stupid). usually, their mom comes to see them and they visit with her, together. tonight, the long-haired brother got a visit from a woman that we have never seen before. they must have known each other well, because the kissed like a couple of leeches sucking off each other. and the poor woman was damn DAMN unattractive. she looked like a male impersonater. weird. then the creeps brother came out and had a visit with a couple we had never seen before. there were a lot of people in the visiting room that we had never seen before and the room hasn't been so full since Christmas. it was a really odd night.
MM spent a good deal of it telling me about last nights South Park and one of his favorite episodes with Timmy and his Turkey Gobbles. and he ate more Pop Tarts. if i never see another Pop Tart, it would be too soon.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Martha please, no more animals!

Martha Stewart, would you please stop featuring animals on your show! Maniac Mike saw an Irish Wolfhound on Martha this morning and now he wants one. i'll admit, it seems like a great dog, loving and friendly, and lazy at times. they are the tallest dogs in the world, HUGE really. they would easily take up most of a full size mattress. MM seems to think that an Irish Wolfhound would keep the coyotes from our (imaginary) goats and chickens but we both agree that any dogs we might have would not be left outside at night. he would live in the house, with us, always. besides, the goats and chickens would have a barn, right? and a fence around it.
the terrible downside would be that they are incredibly short lived. they are lucky to live ten years and the can be rife with health problems. it is hard to lose any pet, but especially hard when they die so young, like Queequeg. today would be his eighth birthday. he was a Polish-Irish-Italian American prairie dog. Polish because our family is Polish, Irish because he was born on St Patrick's Day and Italian because he loved my mother's lasagne. he would go into a kind of happy trance while eating it. then, when he was done, he would lift up and stretch out his little fingers so his auntie cold wash them for him. he did not like to be dirty.

staff training part 2

we had another morning of staff training yesterday. it was much more streamlined than the demonstration our circhead gave us monday. my cocircworker, who trained us thursday, actually had a nifty Power Point show and handouts! i still think the new system will drive us all to drink and possibly to an early grave. it is that terrible. awful. one of our patrons told us that the ladies in Cumberland were bitching and moaning about it. i cannot blame them. i bitch and moan about Millennium too, but i try not to in front of the patrons. this will probably change.
the best think about training in the morning was all the FOOD we brought in: bagels and homemade scallion cream cheese, walnut coffee cake, cookies and homemade lemon-honey muffins! OINK OINK


i enjoyed this movie. the party scenes weren't funny at all, but once the film moved into Shenaniganz, it picked up. i liked most of the cast though the guy who played the non-stop talker, Monty was annoying. he reminded me of an old boyfriend who kind of looked like him and talked like him. the Penis Game was gross. it was a game played among the guys. one guy would expose his penis, in any number of poses, and try to get another guy to look at it. if the other guy did look, the exposer got to kick the looker in the ass and call him a 'fag'. stupid.
don't bother with the special features. they are boring and the director is a dickhead and likes to wear a dickhead director's beret.


had a visit today. had a little 'discussion' with another elderly woman with a fancy-smancy three wheeled walker with handbrakes and a basket, painted teal. i was a little late. as i walked by the Tricycle Lady, she was just getting out of her car parked in the handicapped spot. i walked from 3 rows away, but she must have thought i just got out of huge van also parked in a handicapped spot. she said, "did you put your handicapped sign up. i don't see it." er, "that's not my van", i replied and pointed. "because they may tow you if they can't see your sign." um, "that's NOT my car." i walk into the visiting check-in area and walk right up to the desk, because i'm late and there is no one else in line. Tricycle Lady rolls in behind me, "i worry sometimes that they won't see my sign and tow my car." i said, "they won't tow you." "do you have a handicapped sign on you license plate? they may not see that either." now i am a tad bit annoyed and told her a little too snippishly, "i am parked three rows back and i DO NOT have a handicapped sign!" then i totally ignored her. i told Maniac Mike what happened and he proceeded to tell me that her husband was a child molester and he overheard a conversation in the pill line last week. there is a One-Legged child molester in a wheelchair. he gets visits so i know who he is. MM says he is always telling lame jokes and all his child molester buddies think he's hilarious. seems Tricycle Lady's husband was pushing the One-Leggedf fucker one night and they were in the pill line in front of MM. they were talking about the fact that they will not be registered as sex offenders in RI because of the law that states that they would not have to register if they committed their crimes before 1992. MM said that they were gleeful and clearly happy about this. MM was disgusted. RI just coddles sex offenders, we have one person registered as a sex offender in the whole state and i don't even know how to find that information. one person. there are hundreds in prison. baby rapers, sicko perverts and violent rapists. what the fuck is wrong with this state?
so, i am not sorry i was snippy with the Tricycle Lady. if you support a child rapist, you are just as guilty.
MM also told me of the day the One Legged freak asked MM to push him back to the mod after a visit. he said, "i don't help child molesters" and he walked away while the One-Legger's mouth gaped.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

high blood pressure

tuesday, my blood pressure was a little high. that's unusual for me. it is usually low. this would have nothing to do with the fact that we have two staff training days this week, we will be using a new system at the end of the month, our current system is dying everyday night around the delivery and the busiest time of the day or that we have no contract inspite of what a town administrator was quoted as saying in the paper. our director is also pushing for us to work 35 hours a week instead of has been that way since time immemorial. i bet she will push for that, but then we would push for more sick time and persoanl time and she won't give us that. three more hours a week does not seem like much, but if i take my three weeks of vacation, that would be nine extra hour used for vacation time.
i think it should be written in the contract that she should get off her ass and actually do some work. and the circ staff are NOT her secretaries. she has one. i swear, if she tells me to 'take a message' one more time because she does not want to talk to somebody (vendors, mostly) i will throw the phone at her.

kids and non-parents

wednesdays are Book Buddies days. little kids come in to have bigger kids read to them from 4pm to 5pm. it is complete pandamonium. i don't know how anyone can hear anyone else. the kids run around like a bunch of monkeys and the parents are no better. does anyone ever use their library voice anymore? the trouble is the children's room is right next to the circ desk. there is a half wall partition and that's it. we can see and hear everything that goes on in the childrens room. we could see our poor, abused fill-in childrens librarian rolling her black rimmed, weary eyes at us and we could only give her our sympathy. she does not hold this program. the teen advisor does. oh, how we would all love to have a closed and separate childrens room. we would gladly give our pound of flesh apiece for it.
then, at 6pm, we had yet another childrens program in the meeting room. the meeting room and our staff break room are separated by a door. we can hear everything that goes on in the meeting room. i ate my dinner to the sounds of a really lame, kiddie dinosaur movie. it was so freakin' loud, i could not hear myself chew. then the movie ended and the shrieking began. why must kids SHRIEK! we also had three kids in the childrens room playing a computer learning game. they were so loud, they could be heard everywhere in the library. they were told to please use their library voices (ie: shut up!) three times, right infront of their equally loud and gabby and oblivious non-mothers. AAARGH!
and, of course, we had the middle school teens. they weren't so bad today.
if we had a director who was not afraid to direct, we would not have teens and kids running around the library, screaming. we would not have 2, 3, 4 year old kids wandering (and screaming) all around the library because their non-parent was using the computer in the main library, not paying any mind to their kid. the other day we had two little kids, could not have been over 4 years old, walking around the childrens area, wimpering. the teen advisor asked them where their mom or dad was and they said, "Rachel!! waaaaaah!" seems their twent-something babysitter was using the computer as far away from them as she could get. when the teen advisor told her the kids could not be left on their own, she huffed and gave us all the stink-eye. i would have LOVED to have called her employer and ratted her out. i would have LOVED that!
i am also so sick of the parents who drop their tiny kids off in the kids room and then go off into the library, looking for books and videos without a clue as to what their kids are doing or who might be eyeing them (for nefarious reasons). do they think we will mind their kids? do we look like a babysitting service? do they WANT theirr kids to be hurt or kidnapped? what is wrong with these parents??? i am dumbfounded by thier behavior. dumbfounded. i want to pull every one of them aside and tell them about all the child molestors in prison and how easy it is to have a child go missing. i want to scare the shit out of them.
but i can't. i really don't like kids or babies but if any child gets hurt while i'm on duty, i will feel awful and guilty for not having ESP and eyes in the back of my head to watch all these kids. and you know the parent will blame us anyway.
all you better not let me catch you typing in your mommie blog while your teeny tiny child is loose in the library. you just better NOT!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Hinoserm: contact your mom.

i haven't heard from Hinoserm in a long time and it would be really nice if he gave me a call provided he fixed his cell phone. he sat on it and broke something off. or something. or email me. i just want to know if you are alright.

full moon tuesday

nothing of any consequence happened today inspite of the full moon. apparently, the morning crew got all the crazies. we had an easy night. even the stinky couple smelled less stinky than usual.
i forgot i had a visit with the doctor today, so good thing the receptionist called me last night to remind me. so, this morning i had to call work to let the director know. but the director was taking a phone call, so i spoke with the assistant director. she said she would tell the director. she forgot. that would explain why the director had no clue what i was talking about when i thanked her for letting me keep my appointment. i really do like this doctor...Waseem Khan, a rheumatologist at Landmark (Fogarty). he treats me for my fibro and for the erythromelalgia. he was able to get my pain under control and he has no problem giving me pain meds as long as i see him regularly. he always has some library question for me, too as he does visit our library occasionally. this time, he wanted to know about requesting books from Providence library. if you live in northern RI and need a good rheumatologist or a good psychiatrist, i can give you a couple of phone numbers. it is so hard to get a good doctor now-a-days.

Monday, March 13, 2006

currently reading

a family abuction tale. the husband and wife are married to extraterrestrials that frequently abduct them and their 3 kids. this couple coupled with their alien spouses to produce 10 more halfbreed kids. a true story. ahem.

staff training part 1

we had staff training today. we are getting a new system...the second in two years. i just started learning the shortcuts to this current system and now they want to teach this old dog a new damn trick! the new system is HORRIBLE! it is confusing and you have to close every single window after every single use. you cannot be in the same record at the same time...ANYWHERE in RI. so, if some circclerk in Providence leaves a patron's record open, we cannot also use that record. we had this problem in our oldest system (DYNIX) and it was something we fixed with the Horizon (current) system. i think we are going live with Millenium on the 27th but only to checkout. we will not be able to checkin, place holds or anything else for TWO WHOLE DAYS! i have stocked up on my tranquilizers, Prevacid and Tylenol. i will start drinking on the 25th so i will be totally sloshed by the 27th. i wouldn't know what i was doing sober, so why NOT drink? most of us are worried but resolute. we are circ, we can do anything! but patrons beware: we WILL take our frustrations out on YOU. heheheheheheheheheheheheh!
so, we were closed from 9 unti 11:30 this morning. we had this info in all the local papers, posted all over the library, on our board outside, on the IN and OUT side of our front doors and we printed out little slips of paper, bookmark size, that we slipped in the items patrons checked out for over two weeks. plus, we told everyone who did checkout. we told patrons who took out DVD's that they could not go in the bookdrop and we would be charging fines for that day...we were only closed 2 and a half hours after all. well, at 11:30 and 10 seconds i got my first whiney patron. "my daughter is sick. she was here earlier and you were closed. she put her DVDs in the bookdrop. will she be (whine) FINED?" er, YES! "but she's (whine) SICK!" too sick to read the flyers posted everywhere but on our foreheads. YES, YES, YES, if you put DVDs in the bookdrop whether you are sick or not, we will charge you a fine! so, what did i do? i didn't charge a fine on any freakin' DVD because we all figured it would just lead to a big, fat headache later on. sigh.

Peter Pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew is getting married. yes, way! we have a Peter Pettigrew look-a-like patron. he's small, round, with weird facial hair, horrible bad breath and a rat-like appearence. the secretary was kidding him about his nearing wedding date. all i could think was "eeeewwww". i am dying to know what his future bride looks like. PP is never rude, always pleasant but he looks so much like a character. not quite human. he is a daily computer user, so he has no computer. or he has a computer but does not want wifey to see what he's doing or he takes very long lunch breaks at all times of the day. y'know, this is petty, but i wouldn't marry a guy who couldn't afford his own computer. nope.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

currently burning

Storm Watch Yankee Candle

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Big Ass gives us 'flowers'

Mr Big Ass gave the ladies at circ flowers today for being so nice and helpful. no, not real flowers. tissue paper flowers. flowers he made himself with his big, grungy, bandaid ridden hands. at first, we thought they were made out of toilet paper. shiver. they were just crepe paper, scrunched into a semi-floral shape, wrapped with green florist tape on silver wire stems. bizarre. men are so weird. big, stinky ass men are even weirder. like this would be enough to thank us for his many visits, stinking up the computer chairs (cloth..bad idea!), blowing his foul breath in our faces, flashing his brown spotted and torn underwear and generally making us gag. no, it is nowhere near enough. but atleast he didn't BAKE us anything.
oh, God. i just made myself puke.

will the real Colin please stand up!

here's Colin Firth. he ain't no Josh! what the tech ladies see in him...well, i cannot see it. they swoon and tell me he is sooo romantic. blech. who needs romance. what ever happened to a quick roll in the hay? he just does not look rollable.

apology accepted

the kid who caused such a stink over the computers and was banned for life came in today and personally apologized to the circworker who took the brunt of his tantrum and the director. wow. he's like 14 and it must've been really hard for him to do that. he admitted he was wrong, that he had a temper and should not have sassed or threw his backpack. so, the director has reinstated his card and has told him if there are no more problems, all will be forgiven. i give the kid major kudos. he was sincere.

banned for life!

yesterday, we banned two kids from the computers. one was banned 'for life' (which means 'until his mommy comes in and complains about it'. good. we NEED to speak to his mommy.) he had 2 previous bans, the third is for good. then he had a tantrum and threw his backpack across the room. i would have called the police but the director is such a wuss. the second kid got kicked off for 2 weeks for game-playing. this was his second banning.
had a kid i've never seen before come in to the library after school. he asked if he could use the phone for 10 minutes. 10 minutes?! he started to tell me what was wrong...he had a project due at school (which is right across the parking lot) and he needed to talk....that's when i cut him off. "no, sorry. you must use the phone at the school." he protested that he didn't have a quarter. "the school will give you a quarter". he huffed and went away. who would think that we would let anyone use the phone for ten minutes? please!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

wrong Colin

i had the wrong Colin. it was not Collin Farrell that tech is in love with, but Colin Firth. still, don't care for either. as soon as i can get Blogger to load pictures (what's up with that?), i'll post his pic here.

Monday, March 06, 2006

nothin' special

it was a Nothin' Special kind of day. work was busy. had a long visit. spent most of it talking about South Park. Maniac Mike filled me in on what happened during the Oscars. i tried not to yawn. i just don't find the Oscars the least little bit interesting. i am glad March of the Penguins won for best documentary, though. we didn't make fun of anybody as there were a lot of normal folk there today. White Boot Lady bought herself a new pair of Nikes. wow! i hope she has thrown those godawful white boots away. i got home around 9pm, took my shower and now i am ready to read before i go to bed. i'm drinking a Watermelon Soda from Panera Bread. i bought it saturday, dropped it and decided it would be best to wait before opening it. forgot about it yesterday and just found it again tonight. i opened it and the damned thing exploded. you would think it would have settled by now. i also have some banana flavored cotton candy, so i'll munch on that while i read. i'm burning a Yankee Candle Storm Watch votive. YC will stop selling unwrapped votives. that's usually what i buy. i like the unwrapped ones. they are bigger and cheaper. they also no longer have chocolate candles. those were good to light for healing animals. brown is the color to use and chocolate is a positive scent. oh well, nothing good ever lasts. sigh.

Sunday, March 05, 2006


do you prefer Ben & Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs?


i was sitting around eating the last fourth of a pint of Haagen-Dazs Pineapple Coconut ice cream, thinking about how good it is and how much it tastes like a Pina Colada when i read the ingredients:
"Cream, Skim Milk, Sugar, Pineapple, Egg Yolks, Natural Coconut Flavor, Natural Flavor, Rum."
that's right. RUM. so, it was a pina colada i was eating after all. and i feel so warm and toasty and *hic* a little swimmy. where's that lampshade?
PS: Maniac Mike thinks pineapple-coconut ice cream is gross. he is so weird sometimes.

Broccolli home again

Broccolli was sent home today without any real diagnosis. an ecocardiogram is recommended and he does need a dental cleaning but he can't be put under anasthesia until heart problems are ruled out. once he got home, he ate like he was starving and licked his little toy "babies". he had a whole lot of water, too. he was not happy about the IV bandage, but we had to wait two hours until removing it. my sister went out ot get him some deli ham and catfood. i haven't got another emergency call since i've been home, so i guess he has settled down. i think i did see him twitch a few times, but no one else really saw it but me.
i am at the tail end of a migraine so i think i will lay down for an hour or so, then i hope to read some. i am 100 pages into Narcissus In Chains now. Micah has been introduced and Richard is being as asshole. i really do not like Richard. i may also have some coconut/pineapple ice cream but i really want some cotton candy.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

cow abduction site

check this out...

Broccolli is sick

today, i had to rush my mom's cat Broccolli to the vet. the vet does not know for sure what is wrong with him. low blood pressure but no heart problem, no diabetes, no renal failure, no infection, no liver disease. they think he is having a neurological problem, possibly a stroke. so, he is overnighting at the emergency hospital with an IV in ICU. he just collapsed, kind of, today while i was at my mom's house. he just looked really, really tired and could not move well. he was alert and knew where he was and who we were, but he was very lethargic. hopefully, the vet will know more tomorrow and hopefully he will be treated and feeling better. he is around 19 years old. we don't know for sure because he was adopted. my mom has had him for 10 years now. we all hope he will be alright! we are saying kitty prayers for him!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Lent and work candy

Forty days of hell. i have not had a good Lent for a few years now. i always "give in". this year, i have given up coffee. again. last year, i think i made it 22 days before i gave in. i used to be so good during Lent when i was younger. i would give up chocolate and not take one lousy bite of anything with any kind of chocolate in it. then, as i got older, i would give up chocolate with exemptions. brownies didn't count. hot chocoalte didn't count. if i felt sick, i could have chocolate. on Sunday, i could have chocolate. full moon? chocolate. if the day ended in Y...chocolate!
so, once again, i give up coffee. it's the second biggest temptation at work. the first is candy of all sorts. i will not give up work candy. i rarely eat it at home but i will happily make a pig of myself at work.
i also promised not to eat meat on fridays. well, guess what happened today? i went to the market and bought some shrimp for supper being friday. then i totally forgot i bought shrimp, totally forgot it was friday and stopped at Wendy's for chicken nuggets. grrrrrrr. yes, i ate the damn nuggets! i didn't want to waste them. right. that's what i tell myself.
WORK CANDY is not like any candy i would buy for myself (alone). for instance, i would not buy a 2 pound bag of gummy bears for myself, but i buy them for work. ditto for the mega box of Swedish Fish, the Whitman's box of chocolate, the 5 pound box of Twizzlers, and the bags and bags of assorted Hershey and Nestle Chocolates, the packs and packs of Doublemint and Wintermint gum, the Altoids (Ginger, Wintergreen and Peppermint) and any left over on-sale holiday candy, especially if it's chocolate. WORK CANDY can be found in several places, the biggest stash being behind the circ desk. we have a huge crate of it under the third computer, right under the applications and beside the bandaids and pills. then there is the MegaBowl on the secretaries desk. tech services has a little canning glass jar of (mostly good) chocolates and the computer librarian has a small container on her desk. there is the staff table, too. i don't know what reference has but i'm sure they have a small stash of their own. when children's room staff want candy, they must come to circ and bow down to us, the Candy Goddesses. there can never be too much candy! i am looking forward to the day after Easter...all that marked down half-priced candy! just like Halloween. after Halloween, we all brought in our leftover candy and i swear, when we pooled it, we had a mound almost a foot tall. and we ate every last bit of it! *BURP*

new Fort

the new Fortean Times is the bookstores now. included are Gothic Nightmares: Britain's art heritage of horror, new news of the Malaysian Yeti, Re-engineering the Lost Ark of the Covenant, Italy's satanic ritual killers and the usual fortean (cool) stuff. it's an expensive mag, but it's all glossy and you cannot find anything like it anywhere. i love the book reviews, Strange Deaths, Simulcra Corner, letters, and the Strange Days section at the front. it is the only magazine i read cover to cover, not missing a bit of it. i even read the ads. $10.

new Laurell K Hamilton novel

LKH has a new novel out...Micah. Anita goes off to Philly to raise a dead witness for the feds. Micah goes along. i have not yet 'met' Micah. i thing he makes his first appearance in Narcissus in Chains...the 10th novel. Micah is a wereleoapard and King of his pard. apparently, he and Anita do the wild thing in Narcissus, according to Maniac Mike. she has been such a PRUDE in all these books and MM says she finally sluts it up in Narcissus. FINALLY!

collin vs josh

okay ladies...we have a contest. several of the ladies at my library LOVE Collin Farrell. he is plastered on the door of tech services where he is ooohhhed and aaaahhed over. blech!
scroll down to Josh that is a hunkarooni.
so, who do you prefer...Collin or Josh?
i really want to know.

kitty cat dance video

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

oh, shit!

just a quick question. why do some people smell like shit? i don't mean that they have BO or other weird smells...a lot of other people have that. but some people smell like real shit. crap. doodoo. not kids in diapers...we have a lot of that, too. but older kids and grown adults. like tonight, we had a girl, maybe 12, come into the library to do some work. she smelled like warm shit. it was gross! we have two patrons with such foul breath that also smells just like shit. just their they ate shit for breakfast or something. so bad, that i must step way back from the desk when they speak. gross. i'd estimate that 4 or 5 people a week (not a high number, really) come in reeking of shit. this just puzzles me. do they not wipe? do they rub it on themselves? what? sheesh people, buy some Charmin!


here's a pic of Sigmund! he's a tiny one...maybe 4 or 5 inches tall at most. and his little shirt comes off.

Obsidian Butterfly

Obsidian Butterfly is the 9th book in the Laurell K Hamilton Anita Black Vampire Hunter series and it is the best so far. if you have never read any of her books, you can try this one and not be too lost. in this book, she goes to work with Edward to solve a mutilation murders case in New Mexico. i am 3/4's of the way through and i have already figured out what the murderer is only because i have some small knowledge of Meso American religion. but the book is fascinating and i like how she approaches the subject. i highly recommend this book for a good, action packed, quick read. and is soooo cool. (Maniac Mike was right. he is a great character!)
Hino and i actually got to meet Laurell K Hamilton during her book tour, in an old church in Boston. i had not read any of her books back then, but went because she is MM's favorite author and i wanted to get some books signed and a photo with her to give to him. she was VERY gracious. the crowd asked great questions and she happily answered them. her husband was a sweetheart, too. i told LKH that she was my husbands favorite author but couldn't make it because he was in prison. she said prisoners were great fans and generally wrote thoughtful, kind letters. apparently, she has quite a male following for a female writer with a lead female character.
our penguin fetish started when MM sent me a little Sigmund penguin...a stuffed toy that Anita sleeps with when she is not bonking vampires and werewolves. he was my first penguin. i have about 200 different penguin items now that range from plushies to silver charms to Christmas ornaments to books and blown glass, given to me by MM, Hino, my sister and family, Queequeg, MM's mom and friends.
Hino named my 2 foot tall plastic penguin CP after Corporation Penguin in a Beatles song. all my stuffed ones have names, too. Ishmael, Billy Budd, Typee, Fiesta, etc. (we started with the Melville theme first because i had a prairie dog named Queequeg. ) i have so many, that i have to write the names on the tags so i don't forget them.
MM would love to have a pair of real live penguins one day and so would i, but i don't think that would be possible. but we think about it and it makes us happy. we both were able to see March of the Penguins and we both cried a little and laughed a lot. PENGUINS RULE! they are beautiful, kind, loving animals and we cannot look at any penguin without smiling. great antidepressants!

HV reminded me...

Happy Villan reminded me of one funny story that happened at the city library where i used to work. a cocircworker and i were behind the desk while our circhead was talking to a patron about the comuter usage in the Computer Room. she was vey pleasant and helpful. apparently, the gentleman could not get the site he wanted to load. our circhead gave him some info and then said, "if you can't get it up, i'll come over and help you." well we busted out laughing right then and their and both my circhead and the patron thought we were nuts. we ended up running to the back room to calm down. when we got back, red faced and teary-eyed, we repeated what our circhead said back to her and the look on her face when she realized what she said was pricelass. god, the things we say when we don't realize what we are saying!