Thursday, March 23, 2006

yes, we have no computers!

it was a very easy day today even though we were one worker short. seems my circhead had yet another day off (and the director wasn't pleased because she didn't even get 24 hours notice...but she gave it to her anyway. i don't know why my circhead just doesn't ask for every damn thursday off, cause she is never in.) even though the server was upgraded today, we were still able to keep circ up and running thanks to the nice 'server guy'. all our public computers, including catalogs had to be shut down. i cannot tell you what pleasure we took out of telling our farty old regulars that they could not use a computer today. oh, the joy! the two of us were dancing on a cloud. one fart had his card out, jabbed it in my face and said, "computer." and i said, "oh, i AM so sorrrrrry. our computers are down for the day." the look on his face was priceless. i wish i had a camera. another fart, a real jerk who likes to cut in front of our female patrons while they wait in the checkout line, because he cannot wait 6 extra seconds while we finish checking them out, walked up to the desk, laden with manila folders brimming with papers. my cocircworker got him. he didn't even bother to look up...he just thrust his card out and asked for a computer. i could see the smile on my coworkers face, "i'm sorry. our computers are down for the day." SNAP! his head shot up. he had a wild look in his eye, "you mean, ALL DAY?!" still smiling, "yes, all day!" hahahahahahaha! i love it! then the middle school brats marched in. most of them saw the huge out of order signs on the computers and the sign at the desk that read that we were down. but one little fucker, oh and he is a fucker, a fucking brat still tried to get a computer. he is in the library every single day after school sometimes as late as 7 o'clock. he once told another student that he had to stay in the library because his parents did not trust him to be home alone. he's 15. and we know he cannot be trusted. he's a smart ass, little shit and we all hate him. once, we had a woman in the childrens room breast feeding her baby (la leech!). the little shit stood in front of her staring at her. he was finally told to leave. anyway, we knew he saw the signs and the sign on the desk because he stood there and read it in front of us, yet he still asked if the computers were down. then he asked how long they would be down and why they were down. then he asked if they were ALL down. we curtly answered his questions and he went away. five minutes later, he's back and asks if computer 'H' was working. my coworker said, "when we told you before that all the computers were down, we meant that ALL the computers were down!"
the first person to ask for a computer this morning was no better.
lady: can i use a computer?
me: i'm sorry, they're down for the day.
lady (making weird 'oh' motions with her lips): they're down. i seeeeeeee. hmmm. well, i just need to use the internet for a minute.
me: i'm sorry. the computers are not working at all today.
lady: sooooo, i can't get a computer?
me: no. i'm sorry.
lady: well, i won't be long.
me: sorry.
lady: well, what can i do?
me: you can't use our computers today. they will be working tomorrow.
lady: well, can i go to another library?
me: er, sure. our library is the only one affected.
lady: i seeeeeee.
(really, she dragged out her words all the while making weird lip movements.)
lady: well, could i go to Cumberland?
me: yes.
lady: what about North Smithfield?
me: yes.
lady: i guess i could go to Greenville. it's on 44, right?
me: yes, it is.
lady: well, no, maybe Providence. where's Providence?
in walks the director. she hears the question and tells her where the Providence library is.
Lady (to director): the computers are still down, right?
this is where i walk away muttering to myself about the freakin' lunatics that seem to wander in off the streets for no other reason than to mess with my head. finally, the lady says that Providence would be too much trouble so she may go to North Providence. sometimes, i think people are so lonely in life that they pop in just to engage in some form of human contact. it's sooooo saaaaaaaad.


the stealthy librarian said...

Oh, i DO love when the computers are down, too. It is just the best to tell people they are not working. It doesn't happen often enough. hah

deidre death said...

yes, i doesn't happen often enough!