Saturday, January 06, 2007

where's Marlon?

we have several extremely annoying old lady patrons. some are hapless and helpless. a particularly pathetic and mean one came in today. she borrowed The Godfather II on videocassettes. it was a long move, thus a 2 parter with 2 videos banded together with an elastic (rubber band to you non-New Englanders). she returned the movie to me and grouchily commented that this was the wrong movie because Marlon Brando was not in it.
Grouch: "this isn't The Godfather. Marlon Brando was not in it."
Me: "right. this is the sequel...the second Godfather movie. there are 3 different movies."
G: "well, this can't be it because Marlon Brando was not in it. i already TOLD you that!"
M: "well, Marlon Brando ISN'T in this movie because it is the second film that's why its called Godfather II."
G: "i watched both the tapes and both tapes had the exact same movie on them."
M: "ummmm...actually, that can't be because i see they are Part 1 and Part 2. Part 2 would be the continuation (i know...don't use big words with these people. it just confuses them even more) of Part 1."
G: "LISTEN! i SAID both videos have the exact SAME MOVIE!!"
M: jesus, Mary and joseph! "well, no one has ever mentioned that in the many years we've owned the video."
G: "well I'M mentioning it! it's the same movie and it is NOT The Godfather because Marlon Brando is NOT in it!!!" hemorage already, lady and leave me in peace!
M: "fine" and i walk away.
when she went around the corner, i said rather loudly, "i'm going in the back and i'm watching this movie!!" so, i popped in the first vid and scanned through the promos and got to the start of the film. yep. it's the beginning of Godfather II for sure. then i pop in the second vid and see that it is the continuation of part 1. SWEET! i proved the mean old nasty half dead bitch wrong! YAHOO! so, i went back out to the desk and said, rather loudly, "well, the movie is fine and as it should be."
my coworker believes the bitch put in the first film twice and thought she had put in 1 and then 2 but only ever watched Part 1 TWICE.
then, as i was cleaning up for closing, i found a small packet that was a lanolin wipe for breastfeeding mothers. YUCK!!! it was packaged like a wipey and i can only picture one of our fat, ugly, lactating leeches wiping her leaky boob with this in our bathroom and then stopping at the desk to check out, handing us her card with her unwashed hand!! BLECH! luckily, the package was unopened, so we put it in a DVD case of another coworker to find when she checks out her DVD and takes it home. heh heh. we are EVIL!

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