Vending Machines

the vending machines in the Visiting Room are unpredictable, when they work. the other day, i tried to buy a Barq's Rootbeer (buy pushing the Barq's button, of course) and got a Dr Pepper instead. i hrumphed and brought it to our table. i bitched a little about the morons who load the machines. i mentioned i had never even tasted a Dr Pepper before. Maniac Mike was aghast. he couldn't believe i've never had a Dr Pepper. his mom is a DP fanatic and i have stayed with her a number of times but never had a DP. so, i tried the one i got by mistake and it was damn good. i was shocked. i thought it would taste medicinal or something bitter like Moxie. so, now i have a case of DP in my fridge, though i still prefer rootbeer.

there is not much choice from these vending machines. once in a while, we will get something new. yesterday, they had a Little Debbie coffee cake. for awhile, they had Bugles and Funions. once they started stocking pop tarts, they haven't stopped. they have had they same old candy bars but once in awhile, they'll have something new...like Kissables and white Reeses cups. the staples are Doritos, Cheetohs and Fritos (they like their O's i guess) and Keefe brand pastry snacks (like yodels, cinnamon rolls, apple pies.) it sounds terrible, and speaks to how monotonous prison life is, but we actually get excited when a new product appears. and when the Pepsi machine is working (which is never) we actually have had orgasms. i hate Pepsi but MM likes the Mountain Dew.

so, once again kiddies, i cannot stress it enough. you do not want to perform any action that will send you to prison where one of your only highlights would be finding something new in the visiting room vending machines. IF there even are vending machines.