not much

haven't felt much like blogging. today, a woman called the library in a near state of panic because we had *gasp* sent her 3 overdue notices and they really fightened her and she didn't know why we had to send them in the first place. turns out, the items had not been checked in at North Providence, where she returned them. she called them and they found them on the shelf and checked them in. for whatever godforsaken reason NPR told her to call us about the notices. why? because we did the courtesy *COURTESY* of mailing out reminders! so, i had to calm this nut down and explain that we only sent notices as reminders, not to threaten patrons. besides, your books are back and all is square, RIGHT? oh, yeah, i also threw in "don't worry, this won't appear on your credit rating" just because i COULD! heh heh heh

you would not believe the calls and e-mails we get from patrons out of state and out of the country! we have a very generic name...let's call it The Washington Library. how many Washingtons are there in this country? yes, thousands. we have gotten calls from Scotland looking for the library in Washington in the UK. we have gotten calls from Maine, Massachusetts, Nebraska and Oklahoma all looking for the Washington Library. many people ask for directions and after a freakin' half our, we realize they aren't even in the same state! people, just because our website is the first to pop up on a web search, don't assume it's your local library. after all, on every page...EVERY PAGE, we list our town as Washington, RHODE ISLAND!

reference once got an e-mail apology...sent to Washington, Road Island from another reference librarian!

on a lighter note, Maniac Mike is convinced that there are far more mean people in the US than nice people. one would be...oh, let me see, maybe ME!

also received lovely pics of a hedgehog from Hinoserm's friend Blobbus. what a cutey that pincushion is!

Hinoserm

Hinoserm called his mom and aunt to let us know that he will be staying in California a little longer. he is due back February 15. i hope he sends his itinerary. i also hope he'll send pictures of a hedgehog! when he does, i'll post them here. there is a rumor that he may be going to San Francisco, but i doubt he'll be wearing flowers in his hair. later!

someone stole my car! was it you?

i had awful, bizarre dreams last night. a terrible nights sleep. i dreamed that i was at work, but the library was now in an abandoned bowling alley. (at one time, town talk was that an abandoned bowling alley would be used for the library! that quickly got the ax). this alley was not refurbished or anything. we kind of just stuck the existing library into the bowling alley. the circdesk still held bowling shoes and mini pencils and bowling score cards. our computers and keyboards would not fit well 0n the bowling checkin desk, so we had to paste the keyboards to the wall and type from there. i was having a hell of a time trying to look up some patron info when someone ran in and told me my car was being stolen!

i saw someone driving away in my car, which clipped another green car in the rear end. i was frantic. so frantic that i jumped on my SLED and took off after the punk who took my car. i could only sled so far, though because there was little snow. i got off my sled and onto my one SKI, laying on it on my belly. that worked well until i got to a wood and rope bridge that crossed a raging river (in Lonsdale). i had to change to a bicycle. some really tiny gnome of a man fell in the water and nearly drowned (probably because i pushed him out of the way), so i had to stop and save him. i got him up off the bridge and onto a lemonade stand where he was safe.

i began begging people to let me use their cars to try to find my car. finally, i found someone (someone awful from my childhood) to lend me one of his beat up cars. that's when the dream ended.

i still haven't looked out my window to see if my car is there and in one piece.

january 28th 1986

i remember waking up too late to see the launch. i was pretty upset about that. like most of the country, i had been stoked to see this launch. the first space shuttle launch with a civilian onboard! one of us. a teacher.

Hino was just 20 days old. he was a fussy baby. he didn't sleep long and hated to sleep alone in his crib. but this day, he slept with me a little longer.

after i got Hino ready for the day, i went downstairs and turned on the tv. the first thing i heard was "there has been a malfunction". great, i thought. another toilet has blown up. see, back then, no one could even conceive of a MAJOR malfunction. we certainly could not conceive of a space shuttle crew dying or the shuttle blown to bits. it just wasn't possible.

then i watched the footage of the Challenger blasting off and rolling up into the sky. then i heard "go with throttle up" and DAMN, my heart exploded! i could not even get my head around what was happening. i nearly dropped Hino. i couldn't sit or walk or move. i just stood there crying my heart out.

i couldn't tell you what i was doing when Lennon was shot, or reagan was shot or the Pope was shot. i vaguely remember where i was when Elvis died. but i do rememeber all the details on the day Challenger exploded. i remember it like it was yesterday. i remember it more clearly than the the Colombia explosion or the comets that hit Jupiter. it is still fresh. and i still grieve for all the children that so anxiously watched their mom's and dad's die a horrible death. in my mind, what made it so much worse was, they didn't even get to see the earth from space. they never made it up there. and you can think what you want of Reagan, but that man grieved. he made the most touching speech i have ever heard...and i do believe they have touched the face of God.

73 seconds...just 73 seconds.

feeling icky

i haven't been feeling well these past two days. i was home from work yesterday...the day of the Oprah apology, i think. wow. i will have more to say on this when i am feeling better.

lazy dad? no phones and cake

tonight, as i was shelving DVD's i heard a father and son talking behind me, literally two steps away. the kid said something to the dad and the dad said, "go ask her." so, the kid approaches me and i figure he wants to know if a certain film is in. oh noooo. he asks me to get Star Wars off the top shelf! with the fucking father standing right there. this guy was not a MIDGET...why couldn't he have gotten the video for his kid himself?

then a woman told me i was rude for telling her she had to take her cell phone call out to the foyer. i HATE people who use cell phones in the library in spite of the BIG YELLOW sign with a picture of a cell phone on it that reads "Please do not use cell phones in the library!" that is posted on the front door...the door everyone is required to enter.

on a much better note...Hinoserm called me at the library to wish me a Happy Birthday and my sister brought me pink roses from our dearly missed "puppy" Queequeg. Quee loved pink tissue paper. pink was his favorite color. he was such a sissy boy! i miss him very much.

they had a cake for me at the library. it made me feel awkward. but as long as everyone gets to eat it, that's cool. we all love cake.

see the cat call his mother

Hinoserm,

see the cat. the cat is using the phone. the cat is calling his mother. nice cat!

love,

your mother

PS...does anyone else love Get Fuzzy?

Edit: Hino called last night. so far, everything is fine.

to Hinoserm

Dear Hinoserm,

Call Home. please call your mommy or your auntie. we worry! hope you are having fun!

love,
mom

Seymour

remember the Old Chester that gets visits from his twin granddaughters? well, i have some news. friday night, after MM and i were through with our visit, MM went back to the holding area with all the other inmates that had a visit. an inmate spoke to the Old Chester, "Hey, Seymour, how are you doing?" Seymour responds, "Not too well. I went before the parole board yesterday and they gave me 10 more years!"

YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY! so, by the time this Chester gets out, if he gets out, his granddaughters will be adults! so, he won't be molesting them. excellent.

we had to sit next to the Old Chester and his wife The White Boot Lady, during our visit saturday. we call his wife White Boot Lady becasue she has a godawful pair of white boots that she wears for every visit. they are scuffed, worn and damn ugly. she will wear her pants tucked into the boots. she wears them no matter what color her wardrobe is...black pants, pink top and the pants tucked into the dilapidated white boots. if they are supposed to have money, why doesn't she buy a new pair of boots?

we also sat next to Crazy Roseanne (Barr look-a-like) and her filthy, short, wacked boyfriend. Crazy Roseanne Barr wears the most outrageous outfits, many of them with see-through skirts. she has been denied visits a few times because her clothes were see-through or her pants were skin tight. picture Rosanne Bar in super tight biking shorts. yesterday, the outfit was color coordinated: black, long-sleeved top with fancy gold trim at the neck and a weird gypsy-like, see-through black skirt that looked like black handkerchiefs sewn together poorly. she had on black, fuzzy house slippers with white socks. i can't tell you how many people come for a visit in house slippers! one lady, in her thirties, had winnie the pooh slippers on! occasionally, we will get a library patron wearing slippers, but they are usually teenagers. people, are you too lazy to put on SHOES before you leave the house? slippers, in winter, with snow and salt and dirt on the ground, are gross. buy some shoes!

also, two sisters, Tamanda and Tomonda came for a visit yesterday with a cute little girl in tow. i can only guess that her name was Timinda! why do parents do these things to their kids!

they are not christians!

wacko nutcase freaking out:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5464505634137914176

another scintillating new blog

this is my fist post. (sic)

this might be the last.

nothing to say.

nothing to do, at work.

a waiting game.

(complete with pic of hard hat, wrench and digger)

visit was Kissable

Maniac Mike and i had a nice little visit. the vending machines worked (all but the Pepsi machine...it would be too much to ask to have all the machines working). there were lots of new products in the machines, but MM had a dinner of fried clams so he was pretty full. they get fried clams once in a while. it is the best dinner that the chow hall serves. it also comes with onion rings. most of the meals are pretty awful, though breakfast is usually okay.

anyway, i saw that they had these new Hershey's Kissables, so i bought a pack. i saw them in an ad somewhere and MM saw them on tv. they look like little Parchesi or Sorry game pieces. i thought they looked vaguely obscene. i did not like them as much as i like M&M's.

the Blind Chester had a visit today. nothing is as bewilderingly disgusting as a blind man that molests kids. tell me that that is not freaky. this idiot is about the size of a middle schooler, has a distorted face and messed up eyes like they were improperly placed in each eye socket. one is sunken in, one pops out. he is not allowed to wear dark glasses but he is allowed his blind man's can. the perv that rooms with him 'takes care of him' probably for whatever he can get from the Blind Chester. i can't figure out how a blind man finds kids to molest. HOW?

there is a very large woman that visits an inmate from time to time. she always wears the same clothes: a pink t-shirt and brown pants. this woman is over 6 feet tall and must weigh in at 400. she is far bigger than Mr Big Ass, but she doesn't stink and she's in her late 20's. today, she sat behind us and through most of the visit she spoke VERY loudly so we could easily hear her 'conversation'. really, she did all the talking. she was telling the inmate the story of Little Red Riding Hood! no shit! the wolf, the woodsman, grandma and little red walkin through the forest. WHY?

kind of a slow night. no one to really make fun of. oh well, there is always tomorrow!

currently reading

just started reading this wonderful little book, Go To Hell: A Heated History of the Underworld by Chuck Crisafulli and Kyra Thompson.

"It would seem that we humans want desperately to end up in heaven. But, in the meantime, we can't get enough of hell."

everything you ever wanted to know about Hell and that horned guy with the pitchfork who lives there. of course, the book does not tell you whether or not you will go there someday...but if you're a blogger, you probably will. there are only two sports in hell: blogging and bowling. if you think the rental shoes are gross here, try wearing a pair after a sulpurous demon has had is blistery and warty toes in them. blech.

Timmy

Maniac Mike has been watching South Park every weeknight at 11pm for a couple of months now. maybe 3. he keeps a log of every episode and how many times that episode aired. i'm not sure WHY. i don't ask WHY. a good wife know when not to ask WHY. each day, he tells me of the previous nights episode. i have already seen the vast majority of them and generally, the ones he thinks are funny are also the ones i find funny.

his favorite character is Timmy. TIMMY! TIMMY!

we both think Satan is hilarious. and that God is a Buddhist and only Mormons are in heaven. perfect!

i think my favorite character is Cartman. he's such a little bastard!

what's your favorite South Park character?

Hinoserm, call your mother!

apparently, Hinoserm has been too busy to call his mother. i will be home this weekend. i will be home ALL DAY sunday.

let me tell you about the time Hino found my purple lipstick. he was around 4 years old. i was asleep one morning when Hino got up, told me he was up and went downstairs. a few minutes later, he comes back into the bedroom and stands by the bed. i look at him and OHMIGOD he's got blood all over his face! i looked closer and saw that it wasn't blood, it was something purple smeared all over his mouth. i couldn't wrap my mind around this, it was too weird. as i was walking down the stairs, i see that part of the wall has purple something on it. Hino confessed that he had found my purple lipstick. sheesh.

then their was the time he cut all the hands and feet off my koala stuffed animal (from Australia). Hino had a thing for koalas. he wanted to go to Australia, put them all in a sack and bring them home (to mangle them, i guess???). i have no idea where he got the koala fixation.

then there was the time he got the end of the gerbil's tail caught in the gerbil's little plastic house and ripped the tip off. again, i was in bed ( i know, i know! but he usually was very, very good!) and Hino comes upstairs, stands by the bed and asks if i have any bandaids. immediately, sirens go off in my head and i jump up and ask him where he is hurt. "no, no," he says, he isn't hurt. well, what did he need bandaids for? Squeaky! OHMIGOD! i have visions of a squished and bloody gerbil racing through my mind. i run downstairs and look in Squeaky's house and see his hurt little tail. so, we rush him to the vet, where he is sedated and operated on (having the tip of his tail removed, the poor thing). cost me $80.00...$25 alone for the anesthesia. the whole time i can't help wondering just what Hino was going to do with those bandaids. like i wouldn't notice if the gerbil had a bandaid on his tail?

thank you

thanks to the children's librarian who almost got into an accident rushing to work because she stopped at the market to buy me a balloon and a potted purple Cyclamen for my birthday. she was convinced yesterday was my birthday, but infact, i will not turn FORTY until the 24th. she has made me old before my time...egads!

still, i thank youvery much!

the director returns

the director has returned. i am pleased to report that she was not wearing black. she was wearing green and brown. she did not get 'the memo'*. only two other library staff did not wear black: the tech services cataloger, who was absent yesterday and a circworker who claimed she does not own anything black (spoiled sport!). the rest of us looked like a pack of (hungry) black bears! the rumor is that we will all dress in one color on one particular day and not tell the director. this may or may not mess with her mind.

gosh, we are soooooo juvenile!

*the memo...if a number of us are wearing the same color clothing on a particular day, we announce that we got 'the memo'. this happens unusually often. alarmingly often. we are becoming a Hive Mind!

NC-17!

WARNING! this site is not appropriate for anyone under 18!!!

True Porn Clerk Stories (found on another library bloggers page! yes, we rock!)

www.improvisation.ws/mb/tpcs1.php

Golden Palace

read all about William Shatner's $25,000 kidney stone and much more on this site:
www.goldenpalaceevents.com/auctions/?e=grilledmary01

wearing black

no big news. a mother-who-can't-be-bothered-to-mother came in at 20 til closing and let her 4 year old brat pull book after books off the children's room shelves. about 40 books in total. then, when she checked out, she dawdled around the circ desk cooing to the little brat, after totally ignoring him and leaving him entirely alone in the children's room. she kept looking up at us, hoping, i guess, that we would make some kind remark about how cute her kid is. fat chance!

the staff is wearing black tomorrow because the director is returning from her week and a half vacation. why couldn't she take thursday and friday off, too? the place runs so much better without her. circ doesn't really get bothered by her too much but the computer librarian, secretary and reference staff get the brunt of it. i guess she has to check in on the library because, in her wild fantasies, the library would go to hell without her. right. i wonder when her next vacation will be?

the one male circworker drives me bonkers. if the guy tells us he's "poor" one more time, i am going to flip out. we are all poor. we don't all whine about it. deal. and why does he have to call his girlfriend 4 or 5 times a night? he works nights, 4pm to 8pm. dude, you can't go four hours without checking up on her? and if you're so poor, why do you go out to eat, at restaurants i could not afford, 4 or 5 times a week? and for once, would you offer to put something away...DVD's, videos...anything. grrrrrrrr.

Holey Roller update

the other day, Maniac Mike was standing around the phones waiting for his turn. Holey Roller is on the phone, talking to his wife. well, he wasn't really talking, he was cussing at her something awful. apparently, Holey Roller sent his wife some legal papers that he didn't want to keep in his cell. he did this some time ago. now he wants them back, and from what MM could hear, she couldn't find them. so, HR started swearing at his wife, "you stupid bitch! i need those fucking papers!" it went on and on for 20 minutes.

yes, Mr Holier Than Thou, you are a good christian, cussing at your wife like that. do you pray to God with that mouth? is this what that Big Bible teaches you? and you dare to call my husband a devil worshipper? seems like you have a little bit of the devil in you now, doesn't it?

this drives MM crazy...the way some of these men cuss out their wives. MM would sooner cut out his tongue than talk to me or his mom that way. and, if he did talk to me that way...well, i'd just HANG UP!

Big Bible Lady, you don't have to take that shit! now i really feel bad for her.

how many people can we fit behind the desk?

at the library, there are times when just about every circworker is behind the desk. between 2pm and 3pm, the 'night crew' arrives. around 4pm, the day crew leaves. so, for a couple of hours, we have 5 circworkers on the floor, provided no one has called in sick. we need 5 people, because this is often the busiest time of the day. the preteens are messing around, the computers are booked solid, the ILL delivery has arrived and needs unpacking, the ILL's need to be checked in and hold slips printed up, we make hold calls, mom's come in with their kids after school, books and videos need to be shelved (we cannot always rely on the pages) and, if we can get away, we can shelf-read and straighten our shelves. oh yeah, the day workers have to fit in their last breaks. whew! we are busy and we do not have time to sit around on our thumbs.

during all this, today, an old biddy sees us working behind and around the desk. she makes a comment like, "do they really need 5 people? oh, oh!" i didn't hear it myself but others did. now, we actually had SIX people behind the desk because our computer librarian was setting up a brand new computer for circ (we have 3 at the desk). if the biddy bothered to LOOK, she would have seen that we were running around like ants on an anthill. and you know that this woman would be totally pissed if she had to wait more than half a second to check out!

biddy, may you drop that Large Print edition of Nora Roberts' latest piece of trash on your foot and may your children decide you are too much of a bother to care for...so they stick you in the "home".

no we don't have King Kong!

at the library we often have little kids ask us if we have such-and-such movie, one that is still playing in the theater (like Chicken Little for example). i don't mind these questions at all. we all think they are kind of cute, coming from a 5, 6, or 7 year old who does not know the ways of Hollywood. we always answer patiently, something along the lines of "no, i'm sorry. if the movie is still playing in the theater, we won't have the DVD for a long while." kids are smart (some of them) and they get it.

adults who do this just piss me off.

30-something man: "do you have King Kong?"

me: "do you want the one with Fay Ray or the 1980's version?"

man: "no, i want the NEW one...the 2005 DVD."

me: er....*??* "the one that's playing at the movies?"

man: "yeah, that one."

me: "NO! we DO NOT have it on DVD as it still playing in the theater (you fucking moron!)"

c'mon people! are you that freakin' stupid?

excellent line

this line from a blogpost really tickled me:

Why do people like Bush? Cause he is a Christian? Bullshit, he's not more a Christian than my keyboard is.

from www.egosumlux.blogspot.com. thanks for the chuckle!

Hinoserm travelling

Hinoserm is travelling to Sacramento tonight on Southwest. he left TF Green around 4:30pm and should be in Sacramento around 11pm. he is supposed to call to let us know he made it okay. he is going to attend some sort of convention for Second Life or Ginkosoft or something. something computer-y and technical. something far too complicated for me to grasp.

he's still in the air, hopefully in the plane.

a few words to my computer: do not do anything funky while Hino is away. if you stop working, i will be very angry and i will kick you in whatever-computer-equivalent-to-nuts you have. i am not adverse to setting you on fire, either. mess with me and i will tell on you! i may have to replace your ink cartridges myself. deal with it. and stop making those odd beeping noises at 2 in the morning when i am just about to fall into a really deep sleep. they scare me. i think it's the smoke alarm. (you do that on purpose, don't you?) and those clicking noises i hear all night long...you're looking at porno sites. i just know you are! haven't caught you yet, but i will. now, be nice to me and we both might just survive Hino's absence.

blech!

ever since the Snackwell's vienna cookies turned up in the prison vending machines, Maniac Mike has been trying to convince me to buy (me) some Snackwell's Devil's Food cookies. he has told me stories of eating boxes of these delicious, cakey, cookies. they are his favorites. he has a lot of favorites. he tries to get me to try them all. well, he sent me a coupon (yes, the big, bad felon clips coupons from the sunday inserts) for the Devil's Food cookies and today, i bought 2 boxes. had to buy 2 to use the $1 off coupon.

as soon as i got home, i ripped open the box and pulled out a......hockey puck? i dropped the cookie on the counter and it make a weird, kind of hollow thud. more like a thunk. it flipped over. it did not sound nor look appetizing. i took a bite. bbbllleeeeeechhh! this is NOT a cookie and it is NOT a cake. it is a dry, bland piece of cowpie! i do not like these things. so, when MM called, i told him what i thought of them. he was speechless. he couldn't believe i hated them. i think i hurt his feelings. not to worry, i told him, i will bring them to work and someone will eat them. they'll eat anything even remotely chocolate. not a total loss.

yes, i hurt his feelings, poor guy.

Frey is a liar

"During these drug-addled Denison days, Frey wrote, "Lying became part of my life. I lied if I needed to lie to get something or get out of something."

"Seems Mr. Frey has quite an imagination. He thinks he's a bit of a desperado. He's making a bunch of crap up."
That's the assessment of David Baer, a former Granville police sergeant... "

above from The Smoking Gun

Frey's telling of his 3 month stay in prison is laughable! just the single item of Frey sitting in another inmates cell, reading to him, is a joke to anyone who knows anything about prison life. prisoners are NOT allowed to congregate in another inmates cell for ANY length of time, let alone hours-long reading sessions!

i cannot tell you how much i loathe this asshole. he originally peddled his book as fiction, but his current publisher wanted an non-fiction tale, so Frey retooled his book. little old ladies at my library are checking out this book just because of Oprah. what the HELL can a friggin' white bread, middle class octegenarian get out of this book? and Frey calling addiction and alcoholism a "weakness" and not a disease is assinine. his idea of kicking the habit(s) by just "hold(ing) on" gives the wrong message to millions who are really struggling to stay clean. Fuck you, Frey, you motherfuckingsonofabitchbastard! and Oprah...fuck you, too!

i can't drive fifty-five!

a million little lies!

mosey on over to www.thesmokinggun.com to read all about the big, fat liar Frey and his work of fiction. Oprah, you are such a stupid bitch! this is what you get for choosing to emulate writer's of the worst caliber. i read about a fourth of this book well over a year ago, long before Oprah 'discovered' it and it stunk to high heaven. (actually, i listened to the book on audio, but that's still reading, right? reading with your ears!). if you want to read a real good autobiographical work, try Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. he is fabulous!

is it wrong?

is it wrong to make fun of other blogger's blogs? yes, it is wrong. it is bad and i am a very bad girl. feel free to make fun of my blog. some of it is pretty dull, whiney and just plain mean. the spelling is foul, the typos are plenty and my grammar is, er, ungrammatical. i am allergic to upper case letters. i have no life to speak of. go ahead...curse me! curse me for ever being born! slay me with thine spear of wit, so that i may pray to bloggeth no more! wretched Blogger! thou art a gift from Satan! tempt me no more.

gee, i wonder what Satan's blog would look like? do you think God would leave comments like: "pitch-forking a moose! you are soooo clever! LOL!"

*yawn* bad blog

clearly this gal watches too much daytime tv (and she's a law student):

"Sometimes we make the right decision.Sometimes we have to make the decision right.Dr Phil said that on his show today... and it really resonated with me. I don't usually watch Dr. Phil, but I think God arranged it so that I would be home in time today to hear him say those words."

(yep. God has nothing better to do than arrange your tv watching time. Dr Phil sucks!)

"So, anyone who knows me, knows that I admire Oprah. I watch her show when I can, read the books that she recommends, and in general try to "live my best life." I aspire to be as powerful as she is one day, and I truly respect her. I consider her to be a role model for me, and "meeting Oprah" is one of the things on my list of things that I want to do before I turn 30."

(OH! so you're the one that keeps requesting those damn awful depressing novels from O's pitiful bookclub. stop it! there is a World of Books out here...don't rely on a Talk Show Host to tell you what to read. would you rely on a talk show host for psychological/marital advise? oops! i guess you would!)

really bad post

someone writes about PMS:
"The only pre-menstural symptom I have ever had would be sore (.)(.)'ies. The ache so much so that I try not to walk around too much. I have the biggest (.)(.)'ies ever normally but when PMSing, they are HUGE!Usually when I go to the doctors and they ask me whether I have any PMS I say nope, nothing but massive (.)(.)'ies and their reply usually is 'lucky girl'. I always thought that the foul mood thing is just an excuse for us average girls. Oh but I am in shock.....for the 1st time ever I have not had sore (.)(.)'ies but rather I am in the foulest mood E V E R. No reason at all......no arguments at home, not hoping for a BFP as I didn't BD at the right time, DH being as understanding as ever but I have the SHITS. Big time."

lovely! she also has sonogram pics of her twins. what's worse than baby pics? that's right! sonogram pics! and what does walking around have to do with sore titties? does she walk on her tits? are they that massive that she trips on them when she walks? if my doctor called me a 'lucky girl' for having massive, sore breasts, i would kick him in the nuts and say, "my, are your nuts massive and swollen? lucky boy!"

bad blog

some Scottish guy with Chronic Fatigue (ohmigod! do i sound like this!). dude, i'm sorry you're dyslexic but do you really need someone to hold your hand at the Job Center? do you really want to admit to someone, when you are unemployed, that you are potentially unemployable because you cannot write a simple resume? hey, here's an idea...use microsoft word and TYPE it out. you can type in a blog, so type your damn resume! here's a blog post:

"12 hours of sleep and a 5 minute MSN conversation with my best mate and my stir-crazy angst has gone. My apologies for the terrible quality of the posts recently, I'll be posting more coherent writings soon, I may even write about something other than myself!"

www.justtoomanyfactors.blogspot.com.

bad blogs

not a good evening for blogsurfing. here are a few bad blogs:

"Okay, so I have never done this blog thing before. In fact, I've never even read SOMEONE ELSE'S blog before. But I thought to myself, what the hell. So here I am. I don't really have much to say." from www.1shosh.blogspot.com. she has some kind of Build A Bear fixation. what's up with the whole Build A Bear thing? they are creepy and trivial. i can see a little kid being suckered into wanting one, but a grown woman? okay, okay, i do like stuffed animals but this is too much...a whole chain of store devoted to stuffing and dressing bears. and they are not cheap! please. get a life.

www.jellifyshpoetry.blogspot.com. poetry blog. yuck.

www.haikudaybook.blogspot.com. a Haiku a day. just what is a mnemonic aide? some kind of robotic sex toy?

www.juliaennick.blogspot.com. weird little girl doing "dance" moves. is she wearing a tutu over her jeans?

offensive rant! mommies beware!

i found this on www.postsecret.blogspot.com. i show it to you because i am flabbergasted by the sign. oh, COME ON people...do we really need a parking space for expectant moms? it's bad enough we have spaces for people with children...big, handicapped sized spaces...big enough for the Hummer and the Cheaper by the Dozen clan. (any 'family' with more than 4 kids is a 'clan'. any family with more than 8 kids is a 'cult'. any family with more than 12 kids is 'a third world nation'. stop procreating! sex is for responsible people. do not litter our poor overpopulated planet with your snot-nosed rugrats. they are not cute and your mommie-blog is boring!). thank you. i now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

self portraits

have you ever found a blog you really liked, read it weekly, if not daily...really got into it and had great respect for the writer? then, one day, they post a picture of themselves and it just ruins everything! all your preconceptions go down the tubes. their lousy pic just does not match their good writing.

i also would prefer my favorite authors to remain anonymous. i don't want to see your ugly mug on the back of your excellent book. can't you just let me have my little fantasy, dude? wouldn't you rather i 'believe' you're a stud rather than 'know' that you're not?

also, today i found a blog with a post "Today, i joined LA Weight Loss". the very next day/post had a picture of a very obese woman and in the blog entry was this sentence, "I don't think i have lost any weight yet." er...in ONE day? then she went on to say that she didn't really know because she didn't weigh herself that day, oh, and she ate lunch at Subway and dinner at Pizza Hut, oh, but she walked about a mile and a half, so, maybe, she did lose some weight after all. WHAT?! WHAT!!??

some bloggers make me crazy.

PS. don't expect any pics of me anytime this century! trust me. i am doing you a favor!

weather event!

last night, we had a Weather Event! it snowed! wow!

see, here in New England, we no longer have snowstorms and thunderstorms or rain or high winds. we have "Weather Events!". yes, a simple passing shower is now a major Event here in little rhodey. i don't know when our weather people started calling the weather an Event but they do it all the time now. weather forecasters here think they are the bomb. they get a good 6 or 7 minutes of a news broadcast...a disproportionate amount of time, just to tell us we MAY get snow. they have dozens of charts, radar, stats, graphics, and historical data ("on this day in 1938, we had sleet and freezing rain, but today, it will be warm and sunny!"). and why do they always lump sleet and freezing rain together? aren't they the same thing?

i am sick to death of weathermen and women. i don't watch the news anymore. when i want to know what the weather will be like during the week, i listen to the weatherband radio in my car on the way to work. it is quite accurate. if i want to know what the weather will be like on a particular day, i look out the window!

in my opinion, the last Weather Event we had was Hurricaine Gloria in the mid-eighties. the last BIG Weather Event we had was the Blizzard of '78. rain is just rain. snow will fall, it's winter. unless the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are crossing the state line, i do not what to hear that we are having an Event of any kind, thank you.

Patriots lose, we rejoice

no, just because i live in New England does not make me a Patriots fan. Maniac Mike and i despise the Patriots. every footbal season, all we hear is "the Patriots this and the Patriots that". they had a big game yesterday. one of my (female) cocircworkers wore a Patriots jersey to work. listen ladies...i don't care if you're Angelina Jolie, a football jersey will make you look fat and stupid! they were not made for women. thay were made for men with beer bellies and no fashion sense. and why can she wear a Patriots logo but i can't wear my Ramones and Misfits t-shirts?

anyway, MM and were glad the Patriots lost last night. finally, it's over! and here's a related story that will tell you just how petty and immature the guards at the prison are. an inmate is walking towards the showers and passes Brookes. Brookes is and idiot (we have already established that) and he is a die hard Patriots fan. he would suck the dick of every single player on the team if given the chance. everyone knows of Brookes' love for the Pats. this inmate passes Brookes and makes some snide remark about the Patriots losing the game. while the inmate is in the shower, Brookes goes upstairs and shuts the inmates door. he then tells the other guard in the bubble NOT to open the door until he says so. the inmate gets out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and heads to his cell. door is locked and Brookes won't open it. for nearly an hour! is this baby-ish or what? granted, the stupid inmate should not have said what he said...MM can't figure out why any inmate would talk to any guard if they didn't absolutely need to. see, in REAL prisons, inmates and guards are not best buddies. they are oil and vinegar. but here, in Playland, inmates want the guards to like them. and the guards share very personal information with the inmates! all the child molestors know all about Brookes' kids and family life. what is wrong with these people?

MM got a kick out of the whole episode and so did i. i jsut love it when people act all stupid!

PS. we are Notre Dame fans!

mustache girl

Mustache Girl is a woman in her early 30's who visits her boyfriend in prison. she has a mustache. this really messes with Maniac Mike's brain. he cannot figure out why she does not do something about the 'stache. he wonders how she can look at herself in the mirror and not see that she has a mustache. 'tis a puzzlement of epoch proportions. i, too, wonder why she doesn't get rid of it. see, i have stray hairs on my face like 95% of all woman of a certain age. i have a few hairs at the corners of my upper lip. i pluck them when i can see them. easy and not very painful anymore. it is a myth that shaving will only make the hair grow back thicker and/or darker. waxing would actually soften the hair over time. if one is opposed to hair removal, one can use a bleaching cream and lighten the hair. atleast it's something. so, why doesn't Mustache Girl avail herself of these methods? and why doesn't her boyfriend (gently) say, "honey, you would be so much more kissable without the long black, prickly hairs" or, more directly, "hell, woman! kissing you is like nuzzling a pissed off porcupine!" how can he look at her and not see the mustache? (yeah, yeah, love is blind...yadda yadda).

excess hair is called hirsutism. women with PCOS or other hormonal disorders have to deal with it. we have one very fat, very gross, very mannish female library patron with a full, black, thick 5 0'clock shadow. i feel bad for her and she scares me because i have PCOS and i am petrified that i will end up looking like her. really. i have cried over this!

but Mustache girl is not fat or gross or mannish. she could be nice looking without the facial hair. oh. she also uses some kind of hair product that makes her otherwise beautiful long hair look wet and greasy. atleast, i think she uses a product.

we all look in the mirror and see some kind of flaw. if it's a small thing and fixable, wouldn't you want to fix it?

where the hell is dad?

we have a special needs patron in a wheelchair that comes to the library once a week, on saturdays, with her father. he is divorced and we figure he has his daughter on the weekend. she is a teenage girl, with gross motor skill difficulties. her wheelchair is not motorized, so she has to steer it by dragging her feet. she has a hard time using her hands. she needs a lot of help. and, she drools. over everything. gross, spitty drool on the computers, books, tables, herself. she is one frustrated kid. why? because her dad plops her in the middle of the children's room and splits. he'll just walk away, go outside, use our computers, talk on the phone and do anything but care for his daughter. today, the girl had to ask two patrons for help...and she is hard to understand and she is very loud and demanding. the children's librarian followed her around for 45 minutes, picking up after her, getting things off higher shelves, moving chairs so she could navigate, setting her up on a computer and wiping drool off every surface and item she touched and discarded. and where was the dad? well, he was looking up womens' singles listings on the computer AND calling a woman on his cell phone to make a date for the movies for that night. at one point in the phone conversation he said he would meet the women at the theater "in 20 minutes". he then collected his daughter, we checked out her spit drenched items, and he left. we were all wondering if he was taking his kid with him to the movies on a date, no less, or is he dumping her off somewhere first? and, this is going to sound cruel but, would you show up to a date with your child, especially a special needs teenager? if that happened to you, how would you handle it? i know it would not be the cool or compassionate thing to do, but i would suddenly come down with the flu and split!

we all feel bad for this girl because she has such a useless dad (who has berated her for forgetting to rewind videos many times, among other things), but we are also frustrated because we are left to do the babysitting. is it really so hard for him to spend 45 minutes with his daughter?

blog chain letters?

what is tagging all about? kind of reminds me of those chain letters i sooooo hated when i was a snail mail penpal enthusiast. i used to get all kinds of bizarro chains...one of the worst was for tea towels! send a tea towel to the first person on the list, add your name, send the lists to some poor unsuspecting people and, eventually (like when Saddam makes Time Magazine's man-of-the-year), you get your very own tea towel! oh, goody!

i got dozens of Prayers to Saint Jude chains. my then best friend used to send me chain letters all the time...usually religious ones. or vaguely threatening chains..."if you break this chain, you're car will become possessed by Satan and your country will be searched for WMD's and you will be deposed" (see, Saddam broke that chain and look where he is now!).

there were postcard chains, music chains, mail art chains, childrens' book chains, zine chains, cookie recipe chains, just all kinds of chains. i hated them! despised them! my best friend couldn't write a decent letter to save her life, but boy, she loved those chains. and all of them required sending the letter to atleast 20 people! i asked her once, where she got names and addresses and she said she sent them to family, friends, COWORKERS, and names out of the telephone directory! puh-leeze! i finally asked her to stop sending them to me and she got all huffy about it. hey, i do not have the time for that shit...nor do i like the idea of threatening people, especially people i work with or DO NOT KNOW at all!

so, i'm very leery of this tagging thing. okay, i have stolen blog entry ideas from some people, but no one has ever told me to do it. and, i do not feel right having to tag someone else. it's their blog...let 'em write what they want. so, no offense, but please don't tag me. i am no fun.

oh, and those polls that are so popular..."what kind of cheese would i be" kind of polls...they are lame, people. LAME!

ps i'm Muenster!

RI sex offender status

see how much our state wants to protect their women and children!
www.familywatchdog.us/RhodeIsland.asp

full moon saturday

today we all paid for the easy day we had yesterday. the place was rockin' and the freaks were upon us. full moon today...a wolf moon, i think. i made myself sick downing pain pill after pain pill and eating 3 chocolate cupcakes that a cocircworker made. on the saturdays when my team works, we try to do it up...and it's usually somebody's birthday so we have some sort of cake. we also ordered out (had it delivered), had homemade chexmix, curly-doodle things, chocolate chip cookies, veggies and dip, ginger ale and juice to make punch, Twix candy bars and Tums. we are pigs at the trough. god, i love the place.

we had a talk about 'birthday parties' at work. see, there are little cliques in this library. some people have their birthdays celebrated by other staff. they get cake with candles and the Happy Birthday song sung to them, plenty of presents and an extra long, additional break, along with everyone who is in the backroom celebrating. all the while, one of us is alone in the library, working at circ (because circ is the only desk that may NOT EVER be left unmanned). there are several of us who think this is inappropriate. we believe if you celebrate one birthday, you should celebrate all of them. for example, while one of the reference librarians has her birthday celebrated, the other does not. this leads to very hurt feelings. i used to be part of the clique until i realized that some people were just plain snubbed and i no longer wanted to be part of the snubbers. i realized i was hurting some of my coworkers and i didn't like it. this is the only place where i have worked that allowed this to happen. this is a breeding ground for bad feelings.

if you work in a library, how do you handle birthdays?

another thing that happens far too often in this library is: collecting money for someone-or-another's "special" event. for instance, the part time children's room assistant was pregnant (she has since had her baby) and some of the staff felt bad for her because she had no family in the area, so they decided to throw her a baby shower. money for presents and cake. then they collect money for funeral flowers, flowers for excoworkers who are in the hospital, money for cake for the director (who HAS to have an ice cream cake), money for her christmas present, money for the assistant director's christmas present, money for this and money for that. we used to have a sunshine club where we each put in 3 bucks a month and that money was used for flowers and presents and stuff. but, i think that's gone. i am not a cheapskate but i had to stop contributing because a) like the baby-shower, we were just told they (clique) were throwing a shower b) the same people (clique and clique relatives and friends) were the only people receiving these things. it was decided by the clique that 'this should be' and up goes the envelope to collect the cash. it can get very expensive. i know what kind of money we make and you know what? i do not want my coworkers to spend their cash on me! shit. jsut be a good coworker. that's the best thing anyone could ask for.

the 13th

well, it's the big bad friday the 13th and what awful, bizarre, frustrating things happened at the library today? not a one. nothing. zippo. we had a class of 30 nursery school kids pay a visit to the library this morning and they were as good as gold. they all used their library voices (most of the time) and acted like normal, human children. even the preteens weren't as bad nor were there as many (friday and they all want to go home). now i am damned tired because the easy day has confounded me and worn my body out. i spent all day waiting for the proverbial ball to drop and it didn't. bah.

had a visit at 6pm. i am sick to death of watching the child molesters paw their own children and grandchildren. why are any children allowed to visit with them? and why would a parent bring them? there is this one old fucker who gets almost daily visits from his bleached blonde, hag of a wife (aka "white boot bitch"), daughter and his twin granddaughters. this guy looks like THE poster boy for Child Molestor. he's in his 70's, dumpy, covered with liver spots. he's creepy as hell. he's been in prison for almost two decades for raping young boys. he is so notorious, his family (who is supposed to have money, but they all look like trailer trash) had to pay the families of other inmates to 'look out for him' because he had been threatened so often. his grown 40-something daughter brings in her to 8 or 9 year old twins to see their Pepe...a man they have never known outside of prison. tonight, we watched the fucker bear hug these girls, kiss them about the neck and chest, pat their asses, tickle them and generally let them crawl all over him to his great delight. these two girls fight each other to see who will get to sit next to the disgusting pig. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE??? why is he allowed these visits with kids AT ALL? oh, because his 'thing' is little boys, so the little girls must be safe? or, he wouldn't dare molest his own kids? bull fucking shit.

i hate this state for protecting Chesters...i HATE it!

friday the 13th after all.

movie

one of the worst movies i've ever seen. i watched about 15 minutes of it. the fake thunder and lightning storm was terrible. the lighting was terrible. the idiot playing the Igor butler was terrible. the acting was terrible and the bloody body parts with runny bright red blood were terrible. one of the witches took off her top. her boobs fell to her navel! she literally had to pick the up (off the floor!) to fondle them. fondling in the first 15 minutes of a movie that is not a porno film is really bad. really. it means the film is so bad, "we are throwing in the gratutious nudity early with the hope that we may have your attention through the rest of this terrible film". this was a Brain Damage film and only a dork with brain damage would find it entertaining. oh, yeah...all the actors and actresses were ugly. not even worth one slash!

short

in the library, we have nine public access computers labelled A-I. patron comes up to the desk:

patron: "i'm all done using the computer."

me: "which terminal were you on?"

patron: "Q-13."

mother calls the library, said she sent her son in to pick up a video we put aside for her family. she said we would not give him the video and wondered why. i told her that i did not wait on him but heard the conversation between my cocircworker and her son.

son: i'm here to pick up a video.

cocircworker asks his last name and pulls the video off the hold shelf. "do you have your card?"

son: "no."

ccw: "do you have any ID. we can use your license."

son: "no. i don't have anything."

ccw: "well, sorry, we can't check you out."

i told the mother this was what i observed and the mother told me it was not true because she put her son's card in his wallet herself and she knows he has his driver's license. i told her that i was sorry, but for some reason, he said he didn't have either. so, tomorrow morning the teenager will be back. glad i won't be there.

Holey Roller update

well, Maniac Mike and i had a visit tonight. MM had some gossip to share about Big Bible Lady's husband the Holey Roller. the warehouse clerk, J, another inmate, told this to MM. J and Holey Roller came to prison on the same bus 8 years ago. Back then and for a few years, HR was a 'normal' guy. nothing weird. HR was a petty thief that got arrested once too often for breaking into houses, robbing and doing nasty things. he got sentenced to 15 years. a few years ago, he started acting weird. whether this had to do with him being 'saved' or just the toll prison takes, J didn't know. J also handles some of the bulkier mail that goes out of the prison. he said that HR mails all kinds of garbage (literally) to his wife, empty salt packets from the chow hall, a broken fork, used napkins and other junk. so now we feel bad for his wife.

Big Smelly also came for a visit. we haven't seen her for awhile. she's in her late thirties and she is a BIG woman. not tall, but fat. she would be pretty enough if she weren't so blubbery. she rarely talks to anyone but i think she is probably nice. MM used to room with the guy BS comes to visit, R. R used to tell MM that this woman smelled real bad, so that's why we started calling her Big Smelly. i have personally never been close enough to smell anything. R said she has agoraphobia and would only go to work and come for some visits. she even has her groceries delivered. i can't imagine how an agoraphobic could stand being in a prison...even if it's just the visiting room. i've never seen her act nervous or odd or anything, so she must be coping pretty well. R is a real piece of work. he thinks he is hot stuff, and to some women, he might be. according to him, BS has a crush on him and he uses it to get visits and a soda and some chips and some company. this is pretty low, in my book. we keep watching to see if R ever kisses her, but they just hug at the end of the visit. R's mother works with Big Smelly's mother and R's mother thought BS might like her son, so BS's mother passed this news on to BS and somehow, for some reason, BS got in contact with R. seems odd to me. so now this poor woman has a crush on a guy who is pretty much using her for what little he can get. R also swore up and down that BS doesn't send him money but she does accept his phone calls, which can become quite expensive.

it's like a twilight zone soap opera in that place. it's always something.

poopy brooks

WARNING: gross material. not for anyone under 18! seriously gross story! really! also involves drugs, so kids, keep out!

just a short story Maniac Mike told me today. when MM was in prison, in 1980, in Ohio, there was a notorious prisoner there called 'Poopy' Brooks. he was a wretched old, little, bald guy. really gross. he manly kept to himself which was a very good thing. he had a fetish. a really twisted fetish. he was fascinated by shit. feces. crap. he would pay other inmates $10 (good for a sugar packet full of pot) to take a dump on his chest. that's why they called him Poopy. i swear that MM swears it is a true story! everyone knew the story in Ohio. one of MM friends, Steve used to do it for the pot money. MM told him he was fucked in the head for even thinking about doing it. but, Steve was a druggie and needed the drugs.

later, MM was released from prison and after that, so was Steve. MM was in Florida and Steve landed in Sarasota. he called MM, and he went up to Sarasota to hang out for a couple of days and take Steve to the airport because he was going back to Athens, Ohio to hang out with the hippies and druggies. Steve was into acid. when MM dropped Steve at the airport, Steve gave MM a card of acid. MM was not into acid at all, and said no thanks but Steve said hey, just take it. do what you want. thanks.

so, MM puts the envelope of acid in his glove compartment and forgets about it. two months later, he's down at the beach at his favorite bar, The Shamrock, talking to a girl, drinking beer. out of nowhere the girl mentions that she loves acid and would love a hit. MM remembers the acid in the car and goes and gets it. he breaks off a hit and gives it to her and within no time, she is, er, tripping? a few other people find out what's going on and they ask MM for hits and pretty soon, the word goes up and down the beach that some guy in the Shamrock is handing out acid. pretty soon, the place is jamming, people are freakin', dancing topless, laughing and having a tripping good time. MM just drinks his beer and watches, not having taken any himself. Jen, the bar owner, is making money hand over fists, happy as a clam.

later, MM calls Steve, tells him what happened. Steve tells MM that he "dipped" it 3 times, which MM explained to me meant it was strong stuff. for days after, people would walk into the Shamrock, ask for MM but he only had 100 hits and they were all gone that one night.

so, kids, we have learned two things by this story: 1) stay out of prison because you never know what sicko you'll meet and 2) handing out drugs makes you popular. it will also lead to prison when you're caught, and then, like i said, you never know who you might meet in there! it might just be Poopy!

got a smoke?

i forgot to write about this yesterday. i went out to buy some dinners at Ye Olde English Fish and Chips. as i was walking along the sidewalk, a big, blue very late model clunker pulls into the handicap spot. an old woman, who looked like she had been through the mill, got out and approached two teenage girls who were clearly Ye Olde workers, sitting on the stoop. one was smoking. the old lady went up to the girl who was smoking and gruffly asked, "do you have a cigarette i can have?" the young lady said that she was sorry, but her pack was in the restaurant and that she was on her break. the old lady said nothing more, got back in her clunker, started it up and drove away.

okay. odd behavior. does this woman just drive around searching for someone who is smoking just to bum a cigarette? or, is this the usual for her? does she stop here when this girl is on break just to bum a smoke? it seemed like the girl was familiar with her. gosh, people are screwy!

polar poop

"shit and shinola"

yummy

"creamed beef"

i like tattooes but...

"backstabber"

random odd thing "pagan"

random google image search for "pagan".

warlock

i watched another Julian Sands movie last night. it was called Warlock. i think it was filmed in the eighties as the female 'star', Lori Singer had big hair and a Flashdance wardrobe. it was a terrible movie. but Julian was a hotty as you can see by the (bit blurry) pic.

the movie begins in the 1600's, in Boston, where the Warlock is being kept in chains, in a tower to wait his execution. a mysterious devilish wind blows in, sweeps up the Warlock who is then, somehow, sent into the future...the eighties in LA no less. here he starts his mayhem, chopping off fingers and biting out tongues and hexing people to make them age 20 years a day. he finds a channeler, who helplessly channels the devil. the warlock asks the devil what he can do to become his favorite and the devil tells him to find the Grand Grimoire...a witches spell book that will reveal the true name of god. when the name of god is spoken backwords, all of creation will be undone. whew.

so, off goes the warlock on his merry way. meanwhile, Redfern, the witch finder from 1600's Boston, who was to execute the warlock, is also sent to the future...i guess by the same whirlwind. he hooks up with 'the girl' and her old Mustang and they go off t0 stop the Warlock from obtaining the Grand Grimoire. mayhem ensues.

Julian was perfectly nasty. he would have made a wonderful Lucius Malfoy. the movie was not good for many reasons but the big one, for me was the awful portrayal of "witchery" as evil and the dumb things that witches are supposed to do. i know it's just a movie, but because i am married to a witch, these things bother me. for one thing, it is an insult of the highest order to call a male witch a warlock. Maniac Mike hates the word. a male witch is called a witch. the dumb thing that bothered me most: witches cannot tolerate salt. they flee from it and it will kill them. nope. wrong. salt is an essential part of a witches altar/worship/rituals. salt (and saltwater) is used to concecrate objects and to caste circles and pentagrams. there are a ton of other no-no's in the movie. i wish someone would film a movie that would portray witches as they really are, not like old, warty crones (the Wicked Witch) or bubble headed fairies (Glenda the good witch). seems like hollywood can only portray them in the extremes.

oh well. i only watched the movie to drool and i did!

Ramona Bell dies

Ramona Bell, wife of Coast to Coast talk show icon, died unexpectantly. i went over to Unknown Country and found the article about Ramona's death. apparently, she died in her sleep of yet unknown causes. she did have asthma. if you are a Coast to Coast listener, you know how much Art loved his wife (and how much they loved their cats). he called her "my lovely wife, Ramona" more times than i can count. i just heard her over the holidays wishing her family well. she sounded wonderful. what a shock.

how do you handle a tragedy like that? what a horrible thing, to wake up and find your wife or husband dead beside you. how do you fucking handle that!!?? and why would this happen to a couple who so loved each other that, in the 15 years they were married, they were never a day apart? nice move God. what next? you gonna start drowning people by the the thousands (oh wait...you did do that more than a few times, eh? the Deluge, Tsunami, Katrina...yeah God, you rock.)

Art's a nice guy. he has given his MILLIONS of listeners years of company and enjoyment. i'm am sure he has helped thousands of truckers handle the long hauls. all he wanted was to spend his retirement with his wife and cats (and is HAM radio thingy) and this is what he gets.

George Noory...you'd better do something special in memory of Ramona! don't think of yourself, for once!

one more

happy little penguins!

more penguins in sweaters

i believe these are Fairy Penguins from New Zealand but i am not sure.

penguins in sweaters

yes, these are penguins in sweaters. to find out why they are in sweaters, check out the site below.

www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/penguins.htm

sites worth seeing

check out these sites:

www.worth1000.com for wonderfully amazing photoshopped photos. they will mess with your head.

www.amazingcatcollection.com for lovely pics of cats.

and if i haven't mentioned this one before www.cuteoverload.com for the cutest (animal) pics you'll ever see (other than your own!)

patron passes away

one of our least favorite, long time, bitchy patrons passed away this week. i don't know how i feel about this. she was in her sixties, had some kind of awful skin disease and arthritis really bad. her skin was one big open sore and i felt bad for her when she was not bitching about something. we have lost 2 patrons in a little more than a month. they were both young (60's) and both were a shock. how do you handle a patron's death? the first woman was a water colorist and well known in the community. we had her artwork displayed when she died and many people came to view her work. i think some of my coworkers went to her funeral...we have a couple of clerks who attend just about every damned funeral there is. kind of like a social event. and they are not old farts or anything like that. (damn. i do not want people i barely know at my funeral.) but, no one in the library is going to TT's funeral. sad. you know, i really, really despise some of our patrons (like Mr Big Ass, who was in tonight stinking worse than ever, fucking up the scent of my flowers. he now has a sidekick who looks like a young Saddam Hussein with really big teeth. honestly. like a characature of Saddam). anyway, as i was saying, i despise some patrons but i sure do not want to read their obituaries! i am not nice, true, but i sure don't wish death on anyone. maybe a minor stroke, or an absessed tooth, but NOT DEATH!

so, listen up patrons...quit dying on us!!

flowers

i got flowers from MM at work today! yesterday was our four year/first day we met anniversary (and i'd forgotten!). they were due to arrive yesterday, but the florist called me and said the driver ran off the road (due to snow). so, she read the card to me ("Dear Sweetie, thank you for the best 4 years of my life, love, Mikey"). MM was a little miffed because he wanted me to be surprised but what can you do. the van ran off the road. i'm sure it was hell for that driver. i do wonder why these things (lately) have been happening to me. i've made a big descision...i no longer want to believe in God. i could do without "him" but, see, i really love his mom (the Virgin Mary). honestly, i see her as redemptrix all on her own...no need for MALE GODS! so, i'm giving God the cold shoulder. i will talk to Her and the saints and Mother Nature, maybe even an alien or two, but not God. two words: Silent Treatment.

oh yes. Maniac Mike calls me Sweetie and i call him Mikey. want to make something of it? (and if you're going to make puking sounds, can you atleast wait until you close the page?)

julian sands

hunk alert!

his name is Julian Sands, a British actor. i just saw him in a movie called Werewolf Hunter. he plays Romasanta, a serial killer and possible werewolf. based on a true story. he was so gosh darn sexy that i have developed a crush. don't tell MM, he'll just laugh.

don't feel up to it

hi. i haven't been feeling too well. the stress has aggravated the PTSD and i am only able to hide under the covers and shake. i come up for air, once in a awhile to eat a fudgsicle, then i go back to bed. so, i have included a couple of things from Maniac Mikes zine The Punk Pagan. the Mitch episode does seem to be one of his best childhood memories. he has so few good of them. his parents were fucked in the head. his dad only thought of work and his mom was a freaky fundamentalist who would often "speak in tongues". his dad sucked so bad, he made MM earn his crayons, 2 at a time, by doing some kind of hard work. his dad was a cheap, fucking asshole. His mom only had time for Jesus and, although she has lightened up considerably and is generous to us now, she still thinks anyone who does not take Jesus as their lord and savior will burn in hell, no exception. she considers herself a 'christian'. i have told her that i don't consider myself christian 'cause i'm a Catholic! this really screws with her mind. she does not know that MM is a Pagan as that would freak her out but good!

A Yuletide Memory by Maniac Mike

When I was a very littl kid, maybe four or five, I didn't have a lot of toys and stuff but one thing I did have that was my favorite thing of all was one of those crazy sock monkeys. I named him Mitch and carried him everywhere with me. I had no pets and no brothers or sisters, so Mitch was my constant companion. I think I'd gotten Mitch when I was between one and two years old. After a couple of years of constantly lugging Mitch around, he was starting to show signs of wear. Actually, he looked pretty rough. He had holes all over him, was frayed and his nylon stocking stuffing was coming out and yet, I still loved him and carried him everywhere. At night, I would sleeo with him in my arms.

One Christmas, it must have been around 1962 when I was four, my mom and dad told me on Christmas Eve, to leave Mitch by the fireplace under my stocking and Santa Claus would come and fix Mitch up like new. I did not want to leave Mitch all by himself all night but it was with a child's trust that I did it and went to bed without mitch for the first time i could remember.

In the motning, on Christmas Day, I sprang out of the bed and charged into the living room and lo and behold, there was Mitch right whereIi had left him but he was good as new! No holes with stuffing coming out, no frays-it was like he was brand new! As I joyously took him in my arms, it was with a child's sense of wonderand amazement that I knew it was a Christmas Miracle. Santa had come down the chimney and healed Mitch and I believed this for a long time. Even when I was five and moved into a new neighborhood and older kids would tell me there was no Santa, and even though I had put Mitch away in a closet by then because I had outgrown him. In the back of my mind, I still remembered that miracle.

Then one day, I was looking in my mom's cedar chest for something and I found the old, beat up Mitch with all the holes. Then I had realized there had been no miracle, that my parent's had simply swapped old Mitch for a new one that my grandmother had made for me. I did not really feel betrayed, though, I just felt that I had solved a mystery and I never did say anything to mom and dad about it. Those days were more innocent times and it was not unusual for a ten year old kid to still believe in Santa Claus. I was not one of those kids who would try to dispel other kids' beliefs. I figured what was the harm in believing, in keeping that little bit of innocence if you could. After all, no wars were fought and no one ever died becasue they believed in Santa Claus.

I will always look back at that Yule of 1962 as a time when I was still innocent and I wholeheartedly accepted the idea that a supernatural being could come into my house and heal my stuffed toy, and it is a good memory--one of the few good memories that I have from childhood.

11 essential old punk albums by MM

11. Dead Boys-"yong,'Loud and Snotty"
10. GBH-"City Baby Attacked By Rats"
09. Cro Mags-"Age Of Quarrel"

08. Black Flag-"Damaged"

07. Fear-"The Record"

06. X-"Los Angeles"

05. The Misfits-"walk Among Us"

04. The Damned-"Damned, Damned , Damned"

03. The Sex Pistols-"Never Mind The Bullocks"

02. The Ramones-"Ramones"

01. The Ramones-"Rocket to Russia"

(yes, Rocket to Russi" is the greatest punk rock record off all time!)