me: (dialing#) ring ring
mr B: hel-hel-hello?
me: hi! this is the Library. may i speak with Mr B.
mr B: who is this?
me: the Library. i have an item for you that you requested.
mr B: the Library?
me: right. i have a book on CD you wanted...Never in a Million Years (made up title cuz i cant remember it).
mr B: my wife got that yesterday.
me: um, your wife picked up her own hold yesterday and it was a different book...Running with Scissors...for the reading group. this is Never in a Million Years and it was requested on your card.
mr B: no, my wife was there yesterday. she got it already.
me: well, this item is for you. let me check her card to see what she checked out. (the biddy checked out Running With Scissors). yep, she did pick up Running With Scissors. let me check your card. (checks. no items out, this item on hold.) yep, this looks like something totally different.
mr B: i don't remember ordering it.
me: well, maybe your wife ordered it on your card by mistake. why don't you talk with her and meanwhile, i'll hold this at the front desk until tuesday, okay?
mr B: well, okay. but i'm sure she picked it up already.
me: okay. bye.
10 minutes later
me: hello! circulation!
mr B: is this the library?
me: (oh God in Heaven help me), yes.
mr B: this is mr B. my wife will pick up the book for me tomorrow.
me: great! thanks for calling! bye!
why do i constantly have to convince patrons that they really did order something and yes, it really is theirs. don't give me a pain in the neck...just pick up your damn order!