Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Bullying by Bowling

Jesus Christ...North Korea tested a nuclear bomb...maybe. hohum. i have more important things to worry about...like chipping my nail polish. terror, terror, terror. just feed us more and more. we are all already on tranquilizers. America needs one big Valium.
we decided today that if one utters "Jesus Christ" when they are frustrated, it is merely a call for help. if one utters "Jesus H Christ" it's a swear.
anyway, at work, a very nice looking (hot) guy came up to me at the desk and asked where we would be holding the Bowling talk. hmmmm. this puzzled me, so i repeated what he said (when in doubt, repeat what they say back to them), "the Bowling talk"? no, no the Bullying talk . oh, that. he was to give the talk. then we all wondered if he was going to teach the parents how to teach their kids to BE bullies or to HANDLE being bullied. we thought it would be very useful for circ to learn how to bully properly, so we practiced on ourselves all night.
a hag of a young woman came in late to the session and stopped by the desk with her Starbucks lemonade (she did not look like she could afford it) and told me she was late to the Bullying Workshop and would it be rude of her to just walk in. now, if you HAVE to ask the question, then...think about it. so, i shrugged and said, "if you just sneak in quietly maybe no one will notice". skip ahead. it is 8:11 pm. several of us are waiting around for that same hag to finish monopolizing the hot guy who gave the talk so we can all freakin' GO HOME. we were rude and broke down the room as fast as we could while saying that we couldn't wait to get home hoping she would get the message. the hot guy had gotten the message a long time ago and was trying (but not hard enough because he was TOO nice) to get rid of the lady who was clearly wanting to date the guy. man, was she needy, too. figures. i can predict it every time. anyone who first approaches the desk to announce they are late for something are always the last ones to leave, often needing a swift kick in the butt to move them along more quickly. fucking hags. the guy was very nice and apologized to each of who still remained and even shook our hands (which was a bit much). the hag followed him to his car and continued to talk to him and at one point said, "by the way, my name is Laurel" and she held out her hand to shake his. damn, she was really being a little to needy. go home and fuckin' masturbate and leave the hot, probably married, nice guy alone!
so, after the hot bullying guy came to the desk i started thinking about just how many hot guys do frequent the library. well, out of all of the small town of men that read (or, more likely, watch endless DVDs) i could only think of 3 (4 if i really pushed it). the hottest guy is a little too short, but he reads and he's always polite. infact, the guys i consider hot ARE readers who occasionally take out DVDs and CDs. that probably says more about me than them.

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