older man checks out at the desk. i run his card under and say, "you have a small fine of 90 cents." we ALWAYS say, "you have a small fine". even if the patron owes 20 bucks, we will say, "you have a small fine of..." anyway, that is not germane to the story.
older man checks out...
me: you have a small fine of 90 cents.
him: oh no! would you send the Library Police after me? HAHA
me: no. we only send out the Library Police for fines over a dollar.
silence. chirping crickets. odd stare.
me: i'm joking!
him: oh! HAHAHA
idiot.
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