Lost and found: gloves

the three items patrons most often lose in the library are keys, gloves and cell phones.

gloves are the easiest items to deal with. if we find them in the library, we just chuck them in the lost and found with all the other scummy, dirty, smelly clothing. patrons do not normally ever realize thay have lost their gloves so we are rarely asked to help find them. there is one patron, whom i DESPISE who nearly every single time she is in (during the winter) will lose one glove. just one. i'll call her by her latin name Khozarius alzheimerian.

KA is an elderly lady who has told us on may occasions that she is helpless. "oh, i'm so helpless", she'll whine and whine and whine. she's right, of course, she is helpless. now, i cannot stand it when a woman of any age acts helpless. this grates on my feministaness. but, if any patron, regardless of age or need asks for my help (carrying books, finding books, picking up items off the floor, whatever), i will gladly help. but don't whine to me and expect me to guess what you need help with. anyway, KA always manages to leave behind one glove. we put it aside at circ because we know what is coming: the pitiful phone call of helplessness.

*rriiinnnggg*

circ: hello, circulation

KH (whining and not telling us who she is, cause we are PSYCHIC and should know): oh, did i leave my glove behind?

circ: can i ask who's calling?

KH(whine whine): Khozariuos Alzheimerian

circ: oh, is your glove black? (haha we already know it's your glove but we want you to work for it)

KH(sigh, whine): oh, yes!

circ: yes, we have it.

KH(WHINEY WHINE WHINE): oh, i can't possibly come out to get it, i'm so helpless! i'll come the next time i come for books.

circ: okay! (sheesh)