Hot or Not

what's a Wombo?

tape flufferer

before i went to work today, i stopped at Job Lot and bought 4 rolls of clear, wide tape at a buck apiece so that we would not run out at the desk. i told my circhead that i bought the rolls for CIRC only because, sooner or later, another department is going to run out of tape and come looking at circ for some. she said that she wouldn't let it out of her sight.

i also had to explain to her who a Fluffer was. she used the word 'flufferer' to describe something and i laughed and asked her if she knew what a Fluffer was. no, but Waverly did, so i whispered it in her ear. she thought it was funny. she also had a call which she thought was a crank. a man called up and said he could not remember the title of the book he placed on hold, and could she tell him. the book was The Sex Starved Marriage. how in the heck could you forget a title like that? so, she thinks it was someone getting his jollies. i just think he was an idiot and the reason why his marriage is sex starved is because he never thinks of having actual sex...he just reads about not having sex.

i had the most God awful pain in my right side today. it felt like a gallbladder attack, but on the wrong side and it radiated down my arm and up into my ear. i have trouble with my spleen becoming enlarged, so that might be it. i feel somewhat better now, but i think sleeping might be tough tonight as it was last night. the pain may also have something to do with eating a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream.

Hino REALLY has to let us know what he wants for christmas. how about a Visa gift card???? and we will have to go shopping soon. i am hoping he has an idea of what everyone else wants because i have no clue.

i hate christmas. can't we just have Halloween again?

and this one, too

kinda small, though.

something to cheer me

just spreading some cheer.

got tape?

we have run out of wide, clear tape that we use A LOT to wrap fragile items to place in the delivery. we use tape for everything, especially for taping trillions of little notes everywhere. well, we are down to our last 3 rolls and the director said she just sent in a thousand dollar order therefore, she will not be ordering tape anytime soon. so, there is a big note on the tape dispenser to use rubber bands to wrap things up. so, not only must we wipe with one-ply, supply our own Kleenex, but now, we must scrimp on the tape. hell, i'll just go to the dollar store and buy my own fuckin' rolls. folks, we are NOT a poor library. we have the funds! GRRRRRR!

Mumble

today, i got Mumble the penguin from Happy Feet in the mail from Maniac Mike. he tap dances (the penguin, not MM) and talks and sings a song. very cute. must bring it to work to harass the staff.

MM says his ankles are wicked swollen and his left leg is numb. that's the same leg that was affected by a stroke he had in his 20's or 30's. he also says it's affecting the left scrotum. i just know i will have waited 7 years and we won't be able to have sex. i might as well run away to a nunnery right now because it ain't lookin' too good for me. he is already talking Viagra and he ain't even 50! JHC!

as for me, i am having terrible pain in my RIGHT leg. it has been a few days now. one morning, the pain in my leg woke me up. it starts at the hip and runs all the way down the back of my leg to the top of my foot. when it is really bad, i actually tear up. last night, it hurt very much again and i had to take pain pills and wear pain patches just to get some sleep. i never take pain pills at night. right now, it aches like a son of a bitch. have no idea what it is if it IS something other than fibromyalgia.

one of the ladies on the desk put up the christmas tree in the foyer at the library on saturday and the director, as far as i know, did not even say 'thanks'. she just said (to me), "oh, the tree is up." this lady also spent her own money to buy nicer ornaments and beads and garland. would have been nice to get a pat on the back, eh?

phone call

today was my day to call the holds. i called one old lady who has some kind of dementia and usually is very weak and tired when she comes in to get her books. another person who should not be driving. anyway, i called her because her book was in and here's how it went:

me: "hi mrs M. this is the library. you requested a book and it is in."

mrs M: "thank you!"

me: "you're welcome. we can hold it for you until thursday, if that's okay."

mrs M: "you'll hold it until my birthday?"

so, of course, i had to tell everyone this story. then one of the ladies looked up mrs M's b-day and it was Dec 2, so, she was not as demented as i thought. conceivably, we COULD hold it until her birthday, but how would she know WE would know when her b-day was.

Hinoserm's blog

have you noticed that no one seems to write anything on Hino's blog?

Hot or Not

would have given this guy a 10, but in one pic, he was wearing a Yankee's baseball cap.

i won, i won, i won, i won, i won!

played cards with Maniac Mike during our 1pm visit and I WON! iwon 6 games to 4. HAHAHAHAHA! we used cashews as game markers to keep track of who won a hand and at one point, MM reached over and ate 2 of my winning cashews. the nerve. so, loving wife that i am, i called him a Dirty Bastard and he said, "i love it when you call me a bastard." hmmmmmm. have to think on that one.

he also told me he didn't like my "perfume" which, much to my shame, is Jessica Simpson's Dessert line of coconut, banana and mango spray. i know, but it was only 5 bucks and i LOVE coconut. MM doesn't. i didn't tell him that i also bought Teen Spirit's coconut deodorant either. LOVE it!

by the way, the only way i can remember the spelling of dessert (as opposed to desert) is because we have an embroidered panel in the libary staff room that reads, "Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts".

Happy Turkey Day

yes, it is that time of year; time to wish all our friends in Turkey a wonderful holiday. ahem. er, Turkmenistan, maybe? i know there is something Turkish about this day. and, in a strange coincidence, i ate turkey today. and, in another not so strange coincidence, i am having another gallbladder attack. (Shatner voice) "hurts...sooo...BAD!" so, to cheer myself, i have posted yet another photo of PS.

aahhh. feeling so much better.

speaking of toilet tissue...

i would really like one of these plush toys from www.pixelgirlshop.com. $20.00 it's called Happy Toilet Paper. love it!

One-Ply

i forgot to mention that the director no longer wants us to keep tissue out for the patrons. also, i was told we were moving to one-ply toilet paper. this confused me and the next time i went into the staff bathroom, i had a good look at the paper and it already looked one-ply to me. i tried to peel off a layer. there was nothing to peel. it is literally the thinnest toilet tissue i have ever seen. so, i asked a coworker on the desk how we could possibly get tissue any thinner and she said, "oh, you misunderstood. we already HAVE one-ply." ah. now it makes sense. since i had that bout with bronchitis, i brought in my own, soft two- or three-ply Kleenex (which Hino bought) and we have all been enjoying that. but not the patrons. they must resort to using their sleeves.

can you hear the director's purse squeaking from over there?

currently burning...

Harvest Yankee Candle alternating with my favorite Midsummer Night.

new glasses and restless legs

Maniac Mike got new glasses that make him look hotter and more intellectual. the glasses, issued in Florida prison, were horrendous.

went to the rheumatologist today and was told i may have restless leg syndrome. yeah. whatevah. just keep adding to the pile. really, i just think i have Fibro flares and some nights are worse than others.

McDumbass, you stupid motherfucker!

sometimes, if i get up early enough, i go to McDonald's drive-thru and order a deluxe breakfast which comes with hash browns and a biscuit (which i throw away), scrambled eggs, sausage patties and pancakes. then i ask for an additional side of bacon. they charge me for the breakfast and an added charge for the bacon. for the past 4 or 5 times i have been to McDonald's and ordered this breakfast, they have NEVER given me sausage. NEVER. they give me the bacon, but no sausage. even when i said, "i want the sausage AND the bacon", they do not give me the sausage.

this morning, i got up early because i was hungry since i ate only crackers and tea saturday and sunday. i went to McDonald's and proceeded to order as always but with a lengthy explanation to the order taker, The Idiot. i said very clearly that i wanted the Deluxe Breakfast AS IT IS ADVERTISED WITH THE SAUSAGE and add a side of bacon. when i got to the window, i reiterated what i said and asked, "this time, will you be SURE to include the sausage?" The Idiot calls over to someone and then charges me 50 cents for sausage which should come FREE with the meal. okay, i thought, so what. i'll deal with this issue another day, atleast i'll get sausage.

like a complete and utter idiot myself, i did not check the order, confident that this was not an issue that required a brain surgeon, a cosmologist or a degree in ANY field. they charged for something, so i should have gotten it. riiiiigggghhhhhhhht.

so, i get to work early enough to eat a bite. i open up the breakfast and SURPRISE! there is not one motherfuckin' sausage pattie. not one! there was bacon, but no sausage. so, i flipped out. totally and completely flipped out so bad, the two coworkers there were worried i might actually "hurt" something. instead, i called the toll free McDumbass phone number and spoke to a nice lady named Gillette and explained my on-going issue with this one McDonald's. i asked her if i might be wrong. if i order a Deluxe Breakfast and ask for an additional side of bacon, should i also get the sausage as advertised? she sais, "yes, absolutely." then i told her that today i was even charged for the sausage and she said that was a big no-no. so, she took down all my information (which she will probably give to the CIA or the FBI or Homeland Security as a "complainer" and possible Socialist). i expect coupons and a letter or email or something. she said she would notify the store. she told me to speak to management.

so, the next time i want a Deluxe Breakfast, i will get up even earlier so i can walk in the store, go up to the counter and ask to speak to a manager. i will order the food, with a side of bacon and see what i get. if i do not get my sausage, i will go ballistic, rip off Ronald McDonald's nose, fling it at the nearest McIdiot, and swear (possibly using Motherfuckin' McDumbass several times until i get my damn sausage which i will then be eating in the ACI, hopefully in a cell next door to my husband).

seriously, people, it shouldn't be this hard to get sausage!

PS

since there were no hotties, i posted another of PS.

one good thing

i beat MM at cards tonight! six games to his five but he was feeling so sick, i did not gloat as much as i would have if he was well. damn. i finally win and can't call him a LOSER. drat.

Not ONE single hottie

not one single hottie on Hot or Not, a bummer to end a bummy day. it started off okay. then a coworker fell and hurt her face badly (while out shopping) but tried to work anyway but she was really too hurt and experiencing vertigo. she really neede to go home and take care of her face. so, we worked out a plan for coverage since another circ person is on vacation and that would have left Waverly alone. so, one girl stayed until 6 with the director, i went for a visit and then came back at 6 to work until 8pm.

first, Maniac Mike is sick again with the same thing he had last time. tomorrow he sees a doctor. his ear is twice it's size, he had a 102 fever and a big swelling on his face. i am soooo pissed that they never let him see a doctor before and now this could be serious. so, that was strike one.

strike two was the fact that, while i was running around gettting ready to close, Waverly stands around while there are things to be packed, and books to be checked in and carted off. i have to keep reminding him to MOVE HIS ASS.

strike three was the fact that several problem patrons needed help at 10 til 8. at 7:57 a woman finally asks for help from us and i had to BEG the children's assistant to get the book FOR THE PATRON so i could check her out because the woman had no idea what she was doing. at first, the CA just gave her a section and call number when i asked her to PLEASE just get the book...PLEASE. damn, i was still trying to count the damn drawer. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Patrick Stewart is much sexier than Clooney!

Maniac Mike thinks i'm crazy because i think Patrick Stewart is H.O.T! he said that i might as well have a thing for Murray from the Mary Tyler Moore show. i see NO similarity and i had to remind him that i found bald men attractive, because, after all, MM is ALSO bald. dingaling.

i have also found that we both get rather nasty playing cards and take it way too seriously. we play Gin. he gets pissed off if i look in the discard pile which he claims is 'sacred'. he said we should have a new rule that if anyone (meaning ME) should be caught looking in the dicard pile, a finger should be broken. so i said, "okay. how about THIS one" and flashed him the bird. then i said that if someone should make up stupid rules about a game of cards, they should take one up the ass. i know, not very feminine of me but that's how rowdy we get. shameful.

anyway, the sexiest man alive is NOT George Clooney, sorry. yuck. Stewart is much HOTTER and even MM could beat him...but he thinks Clooney is a cool guy because he has a pig as a pet.

Hot or Not

"crazy in the head, bounce like a rubber ball, been lucky this far and can't find my straight jacket."

Hot or Not

sees the glass as 1/2 full.

Hot or Not

haha! Swedish guy in St Louis. he loves kids (BLECH!), 70's pop music (double BLECH) and stinky french cheeses (triple BLECH).

maybe he could understand my car.

i don't speak Swedish...

...so it is sometimes difficult to communicate with my car (a SAAB). the other day, i bright red light flashed on my dash "CHECK GEARBOX". you mean like a fishing gear box? where IS this gearbox? so, out comes the manual which is not for my model but for the model just below mine so the manual doesn't include everything. basically, Hino and i found out check gearbox means to check the oil and the transmission fluid. well, the oil was fine...i check it all the time, but checking the transmission fluid was a whole nothing ballgame. first, the dipstick is a strange medieval-esque item that requires just the right pop-and-tug motion. well, i had one drop of transmission fluid. then we tried to figure out where to add the transmission fluid as the manual lists Transmission Fluid as #5 and then fails to point to it on the engine graphic like all the rest of the items on there. anyway, i went to the garage across the street and the nice Iranian guy figured it all out. boy, sometimes i feel so stupid. now, if my car will spell out "low coolant" and "time for service" when i need an oil change, why can't the damn computer just spell out "you need transmission fluid and you need it NOW".

damn Swedes. nothing but trouble!

Reasons why i haven't been posting

1. still sick

2. don't feel like it

3. still pissed at Blogger

4. been sleeping

5. confused about this new veraion of BloggerBeta they keep trying to push on us. is it any good? why do i need a Google account?

phone calls

during our visit sunday (missed friday and saturday visits because i was sick and probably should not have gone out sunday but we were lonely) i told my husband that i had gotten a phone call from Bill Clinton AND Patrick Kennedy, so he's better watch out!

today, i told the circhead that i got a call from Bill Clinton and she asked me what he had said and i couldn't remember. she said, "did he ask 'whatcha wearing?'" and i busted out laughing and coughed myself into the staff bathroom. when i got back, i told her he actually asked if Monica was in.

Hinoserm

well, Hinoserm was a little late wishing you all a Happy Halloween (Merry Samhain) but he did it like i had asked. plus, he fixed my sidebar and brought me chicken soup, Kleenex and crackers which i was in dire need of. i did throw up the first half bowl of soup (from coughing) but i got the second half down.

i woke up sick, of all days, on Halloween, my vacation day. very sick. went to Urgent Care, got an unspecific diagnosis (not strep, though), got an EKG and bloodwork, was told my thyroid and spleen were huge and my gallbladder was painful. ended up with a Z-Pac of antibiotics, Zicam, Musenex and Tylenol. now i am pretty sure it is bronchitis, having had it once before. so i missed work for 2 days and had the weekend off (thank God!) and went to work today to be told i looked and sounded terrible and should go right home. but, i stayed until 2pm and was coughing only when i talked louder or laughed. my ears are still blocked, i still have a sore throat and my chest feels like it's full of concrete. blah. i have lost quite a bit of weight (YAY!) and i am actually able to stand and sit up without feeling like i am going to fall down. so, i'm pretty sure things are going to get better slowly and i will be able to vote tomorrow! finally! i am damn sick of all the leaflets, mailing, pamphlets and phone calls.

thanks Hino. i may vote before work (around 1:30) or, if you want, i can pick you up and we can vote after work. let me know.

Hot or Not

environmental scientist

Merry Halloween

Hey, so, I was supposed to tell everyone Merry Halloween, and let you all know my mother's not feeling well and might not blog for a little while.

But I forgot. -Hinoserm

(Also, I repaired the sidebar.)