Monday, November 20, 2006

McDumbass, you stupid motherfucker!

sometimes, if i get up early enough, i go to McDonald's drive-thru and order a deluxe breakfast which comes with hash browns and a biscuit (which i throw away), scrambled eggs, sausage patties and pancakes. then i ask for an additional side of bacon. they charge me for the breakfast and an added charge for the bacon. for the past 4 or 5 times i have been to McDonald's and ordered this breakfast, they have NEVER given me sausage. NEVER. they give me the bacon, but no sausage. even when i said, "i want the sausage AND the bacon", they do not give me the sausage.
this morning, i got up early because i was hungry since i ate only crackers and tea saturday and sunday. i went to McDonald's and proceeded to order as always but with a lengthy explanation to the order taker, The Idiot. i said very clearly that i wanted the Deluxe Breakfast AS IT IS ADVERTISED WITH THE SAUSAGE and add a side of bacon. when i got to the window, i reiterated what i said and asked, "this time, will you be SURE to include the sausage?" The Idiot calls over to someone and then charges me 50 cents for sausage which should come FREE with the meal. okay, i thought, so what. i'll deal with this issue another day, atleast i'll get sausage.
like a complete and utter idiot myself, i did not check the order, confident that this was not an issue that required a brain surgeon, a cosmologist or a degree in ANY field. they charged for something, so i should have gotten it. riiiiigggghhhhhhhht.
so, i get to work early enough to eat a bite. i open up the breakfast and SURPRISE! there is not one motherfuckin' sausage pattie. not one! there was bacon, but no sausage. so, i flipped out. totally and completely flipped out so bad, the two coworkers there were worried i might actually "hurt" something. instead, i called the toll free McDumbass phone number and spoke to a nice lady named Gillette and explained my on-going issue with this one McDonald's. i asked her if i might be wrong. if i order a Deluxe Breakfast and ask for an additional side of bacon, should i also get the sausage as advertised? she sais, "yes, absolutely." then i told her that today i was even charged for the sausage and she said that was a big no-no. so, she took down all my information (which she will probably give to the CIA or the FBI or Homeland Security as a "complainer" and possible Socialist). i expect coupons and a letter or email or something. she said she would notify the store. she told me to speak to management.
so, the next time i want a Deluxe Breakfast, i will get up even earlier so i can walk in the store, go up to the counter and ask to speak to a manager. i will order the food, with a side of bacon and see what i get. if i do not get my sausage, i will go ballistic, rip off Ronald McDonald's nose, fling it at the nearest McIdiot, and swear (possibly using Motherfuckin' McDumbass several times until i get my damn sausage which i will then be eating in the ACI, hopefully in a cell next door to my husband).
seriously, people, it shouldn't be this hard to get sausage!

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