Friday, March 09, 2007

The Mountain of Crisco

library story. true.
patron walks up to the desk, approaches me and says something that i couldn't make out. he's in his late teens, kind of a dullard and speaks like MushMouth for the Fat Albert cartoon. i ask him to please repeat what he just said. i swear i heard him say, "do youse have a mountain of Crisco?"
surely, that is NOT what i was supposed to have heard and i ask him to please repeat what he said one more time as "i have an ear infection" (BIG LIE)
he asks, "do youse have The Mount of County Cristo?!"
well, the coworker who was standing right beside me turned tail and ran to the other side of the desk. gee, thanks.
so, i ask him if he would like the book 'The Count of Monte Cristo'?
"nonononono! the DVD. i wanna the NEW DVD!"
of course. they NEVER want the book if there has been a movie made of it. so, i ordered the 2005 version, asked if that would be the one and got a shrug. i confirmed his phone number and he left out the wrong door. i then turned to my coworker and found that she was beet red with tears streaming down her face. she said she didn't want him to see her laughing at the poor guy.
well, turns out this "poor guy" is a jerk. about a week earlier he had come in to get a library card. another coworked waited on him. she asked for ID and he had none. nothing. nada. she ran down the list of the many items and combination of items we would take for ID and he had none of them. at one point he screamed at her, "youse always treat peoples from The City like this!!!" and stormed out the wrong door. a couple of days later, he got the same coworker, produced an ID that was valid and NOT NEW, and she speedily issued him a card and he left...out the wrong door.
the wrong door, by the way, would be the one with the GIGANTIC stop sign and the words THIS IS NOT AN EXIT written across it.
now, i live in The City (his city) and i have worked at The City library. neither here nor there do we treat anyone any differently...until they open there stinkin' piehole and something really stupid comes out.
would anyone like a mountain of Crisco?

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