car shopping

you know, as parents, we think that getting our child to 18 without loss of limb or sanity is a good thing. we think the worst is behind us. we think that when they get their license, that is a major hurdle and the rest will be cake. after all, they passed the driving and written test with flying colors. then, they wreck your car. then they wreck their aunts car. okay. no problem. the cars get fixed. we have insurance. nobody got hurt. then, they go off to a foreign land (California) and get a big ol' speeding ticket. THEN they come home and ask, "oh, by the way, will you still give me some money for a car?"

then, we as parents (who have just only two days ago started taking BIG TRANQUILIZERS for panic attacks), have to help these kids find a car. and do our children want to shop around for the best car for their budget? noooo. they want a car NOW because, OHMIGOD, they can't wait! they aren't patient. they have places to go (CompUsa) and people to see (CompUsa employees).

AND they insist on lugging around a laptop with a GPS (because clearly the parent is too stupid to find the car dealerships without computer assistance and a navigator). when the parent asks what they will do alone in a car without a laptop, they say, "oh, i'm taking it with me. it goes everywhere i go. i have even taken it to the MALL." so, the parent wonders, how will this child be able to DRIVE while he is 1) IMing several people at once or 2) talking over the computer with some microphone thingy or 3) typing in directions for the GPS or 4) doing whatever else he does on the computer (when he should really be KEEPING AN EYE ON THE ROAD). let's not even discuss cell phones and radios.

or aluminum engines.

no, let us discuss the fact that the parents are OLD and CRAZY and heavily medicated. just wait until the psychiatrist hears all this. he will be prescribing EVEN MORE medication and he will think, "thank God MY kids take the bus!"

111111

last night, while driving home from a visit, my odometer hit 111111. this was the most profound religious experience i have had since the Virgin Mary appeared to me with my little hamster in her hands. (the entire odometer read 111111 901.1)

new meds!

i have new meds to battle the panic attacks and anxiety...Klonopin. well, i don't have the fancy smancy hollow 'K' pills but the light green round generics called Clonazepam. i took my first one (.5mg) last night at 10:30 and by 10:45, i was knocked on my ass. couldn't walk, couldn't talk, feeling goofy. and i had a really good nights sleep with just a few weird dreams that i can't remember. (Maniac Mike dreamed he got me pregnant and i was totally pissed at him. see, that is a nighmare!) when i got up this morning at 8:00, i was still feeling woozy but i made it to work on time. i had asked my coworkers to call me if i wasn't there at 9 sharp just in case i fell back to sleep after MM called me at 8. i was not shakey today, did not have that weird skin-crawling, 'get-me-outta-here feeling and i was not any more tired than usual.

Punk Penguin Reader

i have been working on a new blog featuring books i have read or wish to read and experiences in reading. i have been very depressed so i am leaving this blog alone for a little while and drowning myself in books.

www.punkpenguinreader.blogspot.com

Avocadolite Farm Game

this is addictive!!

http://farm.avocadolite.com/

Hino is back!

Hino is back! he arrived home yesterday around 11:15am. he flew jet Blue from California (which airport?) to JFK (NY) and from NY to Logan Airport (Boston). Hino said the planes were brand new, sparkling clean with all-leather seats (or, all the seats were leather). there was atleast 6 more inches of leg room and more seat room...especially when Hino sat by the exit. the plane he road from NY to Boston was so new, it was only the third flight the plane has ever made! he did not get a meal, but some animal crackers and soda, even on the 6 hour flight they did not serve food. for $5 he had the option of watching a movie on the overhead tv that comes with every seat. he watched the X-Men, Ron Popeil (and his knife set) and the Game Show Channel (yawn!). he also got a little goodie pack with hand cream, mints, ear plugs and, my favorite, an eye shade! i really needed one of those, too. i can't wait for jetBlue to come to TF Green Airport!

on patrol

the librarians had a meeting. they came up with a new 'policy' to deal with the out-of-control middle-schoolers: each librarian and the director will take one day a week to be the person on patrol. on that day, that librarian will be in-charge of keeping an eye on the kids and disciplining them. from now on, we report to that person. the kids get ONE warning. if they misbehave again, they are asked to leave the library grounds and we notify the parent, if possible.

sounds good but i doubt the director will stick to it. she is wishy-washy and terrified of parents' wrath. she does not back up her staff, generally, and the kids don't take her seriously.

i guess we'll see what happens.

broken video

just a short one:

notoriously difficult patron drops off a video and leaves. one video box is empty. i call the patron (cringing) to let her know the box is empty and we cannot check-in the item until the videocassette is returned. i had to leave this message on the answering machine. patron calls back two days later and asks to speak to the circhead. the patron dropped the video and broke off the gate. she wants to know if she will be charged for it since it was an accident. she also wants to know if she has to pay the late fine. she still hasn't returned the video but she already wants to know if she can weasle out of the fine or not. apparently, our pushover circhead told this patron she would not have to pay for the video but she would have to pay the fine. i guess she thought she could fix the gate, which we do routinely...but we also charge a dollar to do this. see, if this were left to me, i would have charged her for the video. if the video had been in the box, it might not have gotten broken. this makes me think that the video was broken all along and the patron believed that if she returned the box, we might not notice or care that it was empty or not be able to track her down as the last patron to borrow the video. patrons really do believe that, once the item is returned, we have no way of knowing who had it last and they try to get away with all kinds of stuff...like ripping recipes out of $49 cook books and removing the inserts to CDs so they will have the lyrics and the performers picture. a girls' shelter is notorious for returning CDs without the inserts.

patrons must think we are stupid AND that we don't care how our library materials are handled. we aren't stupid (most of the time) and we care enormously about our materials! after all, we know how much they cost!

our own little loud-mouth know-it-all

every library has one: a know-it-all, loud-mouth employee. ours is in her early thirties. today she pissed me off.

she is a smart girl and she makes sure we all know it. she is very plain, never wears make-up and dresses poorly. she often wears faded t-shirts to work and short pants that i would not even wear to the supermarket (and i am NO fashion plate). she often tells bizarre tales that always put her in the most radiant light. for instance, her gorgeous dentist has asked her to coffee several times, once immediatley after he did some dental work for her. he asked her to join him for lunch. right. she knows the firemen in her town and several of them have 'looked at her' and flirted with her. when she pulls in to a certain gas station, a policeman she knows will personally pump gas for her...and this has happened frequently. we all let it go over our heads. oh, did i mention she has a mustache?

once she told us that a cop pulled her over because, he said, her car was the same make, color and model of someone who was 'wanted'. not only did the cop apologize profusely for stopping her, he flirted with her and asked for her phone number! did i mention she drove a blue Hyundai? is Hyundai the new crookmobile?

she has been pissing off a cocircworker ever since we had Millennium up and running. the circworker would ask the lady who trained us a question and the loud-mouth would stop whatever she was doing and proceed to tell her coworker what to do. she has done this to me, too. the other day, the lady who trained us found out a new 'trick' we could use as a shortcut when filling holds. she told me. when my cocircworker arrived for her shift, i asked our trainer to show her the 'trick'. loud-mouth, who was not included in the conversation, piped up, "oh, i already knew that. i showed so-and-so last night." we all rolled our eyes. she has said, "i already knew that" more times in the past couple of weeks than i care to count.

the reasons why she pissed me off today are relatively minor: she would not place a hold for a patron and insisted the patron write down all the info so she could place the hold later. what really got me about that was she told the patron that's the way we do it now with the new system when infact, we have been placing holds for patrons as they stood before us, waiting. i did several holds today while the patron waited and so did she. She cancelled a hold on a patrons DVD because we no longer can put holds on our DVDs with the new system, yet we have been honoring holds that transferred over from the old system. she refused to hold the item which made no sense to me and i told her so. little things like that.

at one point we were talking about which place we would order-out from tomorrow. the last saturday that we ordered out, eveyone else wanted pizza though i was dying for a club sandwich. no problem. i ordered a spinach pie from the pizza place. i ended up getting sick. still, i was glad to compromise. today we were lamenting the fact that so few places deliver. i mentioned that we could always have chinese food and the loud-mouth shot me a sarcastic, "i don't DO chinese!" well, fuckin-la-di-da. if everyone else wants chinese on ONE freakin' saturday, buck up! compromise! that's what set me over the edge.

the last thing that pissed me off and often pisses me off is the way she makes announcements over the PA. she screams them. SCREAMS! i cringe. my ears ring afterwards. we have a small library. everyone else speaks over the PA in a slightly phoney, cheerful voice, at an appropriate decibel level. her voice is harsh and the announcement sounds more like a threat than a request or a reminder.

so, this is what ticked me off today. tomorrow, we shall see....

blogger book deal

www.newyorkhack.blogspot.com has a book deal!

Clash with terrorist?

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsarticle.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-04-05T135822Z_01_L05785309_RTRUKOC_0_US-CLASH.xml

i hope Mann sues the shit out of someone. what would they have done to him over the Ramones?!

London calling to the faraway towns

Now that war is declared and battle come down

London calling to the underworld

Come out of the cupboard all you boys and girls

London calling now don't look at us

All that phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust

London calling see we ain't got no swing

'Cept for the ring of that truncheon thing

The ice age is coming, the sun is zooming in

Meltdown expected and the wheat is growing thin

Engines stop running but I have no fear

London is drowning and I live by the river

London calling to the imitation zone

Forget it, brother, you can go it alone

London calling upon the zombies of death

Quit holding out and draw another breath

London calling and I don't wanna shout

But while we were talking I saw you nodding out

London calling see we ain't got no highs

Except for that one with the yellowy eyes

The ice age is coming, the sun is zooming in

Engines stop running and the wheat is growing thin

A nuclear error but I have no fear

London is drowning and I live by the river

Now get this

London calling yeah I was there too

An' you know what they said? Well some of it was true

London calling at the top of the dial

After all this won't you give me a smile?

I never felt so much alike

what really gets me is that these anti-terrorist detectives (ooooooohh! fancy-schmancy!) took the word of one taxi driver, stopped a plane from departing, put all those passengers out just to question a (presumably middle-eastern or Indian) man about some GODDAMN song lyrics! and where has that taxi driver been hiding his head all these years not to know who the Clash are!? and how much fucking money are those detectives raking in to do their fucked up work? must we be afraid of EVERYTHING? we are a culture of fear. we are afraid of our own damn shadows.

also notice that the race of the taxi driver and the race of Mann were not mentioned. hmmmmm.

they are everywhere, God help us!

i was going to post a picture of Catherine Bell and write about how much i liked her in Triangle but then i found out she is a scientologist and that just ruined it. i don't like many actors, and even fewer actresses, but i liked her. no more. i am sick to death of scientologists like fucking Cruise and Battlefield Earthling Travolta, and now Isaac Hayes and his crap. i don't have many prejudices (Nazi's, Confederates and their flag) but i think i will add one more: scientologists. mosey on over to Wikipedia and type in Scientology and read about it for yourself. please don't tell me this is a religion and i should be tolerant. this is NOT a religion. it is a money making machine (for Hubbard and his succesors), a cult, pseudoscience and a really, really bad sci-fi story. if you don't believe me, watch Battlefield Earth!

Maniac Mike cannot have Wiccan services in prison, but the scientologists have 'services'. you cannot have rosary beads in prison but you can get all the Hubbard brainwashing literature (i use that word loosely) that you want. hell, they can probably get an E-meter and Xenu cartoon prayer cards.

they are dangerous, too. they hold marches and rallies protesting psychiatry. they believe psychiatric drugs are evil yet they believe in spaceships, intergalactic battles and extraterrestrial 'past lives'. gee, they could use a good psychiatrist, doncha think? can you say "Heaven's Gate"? how long do we have to wait for Cruise to drink his toxic Kool-Aid? not long, i hope.

we've got *dings*!

it's amazing to watch the power of a blogpost. yesterday i wrote that we should fire the asshole that took away our *dings* and voila; today we have *dings*! frightening, isn't it! yeah, right.

in truth, we do not have our old sounds back. oh no, this is a new system so we must have new dings: and just like the new system, they suck. one ding sounds like the "wrong answer" double tone on Jeopardy. another sounds like a submarine ping. it sounds like the circ staff are using the space shuttle simulator at the front desk. we all feel like we are on Mars (or diving in the Mariana Trench). atleast we have some noise. it is now much easier to handle the desk duties. it's amazing how much we count on our ears to do our job almost as much as we count on our eyes and hands. circulation is an mega-sensory experience.

speaking of ears, the city library where i used to work hired a deaf lady to work circ. noble, but not practical. at first, she wouldn't answer the phone or couldn't answer the phone. i believe i have spoken to her once and that was an odd experience. i kept asking questions and got some odd answers in reply. come to think of it, that could be anyone. i don't know how i could do my job if i were deaf. i remember a time when i had a double ear infection and i couldn't hear callers. i also remember losing my voice for 3 days. i was not even able to whisper. that was a struggle. at work, i picked up the ringing phone a couple of times by mistake, realized what i had done and frantically waved over a coworker to take the call. during that time, my car broke down and i had to rely on a really nice stranger to call AAA for me. god, that was a trip. i have to say though, if i had a choice (a really bad choice) of being deaf, speechless or blind, i'd rather be deaf. ( was going to write...deaf, dumb or blind... but i am already afflicted with dumb-i-tude.

long live the *dings* and the dingbats who love them!

The Triangle

The Triangle
In the Bermuda Triangle, nothing stays lost forever.

a Lionsgate film, originally shown on the SciFi channel (i think). i have not finished watching, but i really like what i have seen. lots of action and twists and turns. the subject of the Bermuda Triangle has been a dull one lately. i've read everything on it and there has not really been anything new. this IS new. neat ideas and lots of things to think about. i love the notion that a modern day 'iron behemoth' was once spotted by Columbus in the Sargasso Sea. do i think there are UFO bases underneath the Triangle? nope. but i do think something is going on there.

i love the cast and they 'fit' the story and each other. the special effects are not so high tech, but nicely done. beautiful CGI water/ship scenes. if you haven't scene it and you like the subject, try it out. beware! it's in 3 parts and runs 255 minutes.

Jesus may have walked on ice

www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/04/04/jesus.science.reut/index.html?section=cnn_topstories

what amuses me most about this story is that this guy gets hate mail from christians. this is just his hypothesis and a darn good one. whether Jesus walked on water or ice should not be that big a deal. so what if he used an ice flow? damn good showmanship...the guy was a genius! aren't christians constantly telling us it's the MESSAGE that counts? it's unfortunate that 'hate' and 'christian' are so often found in the same sentence.

stalker

the girls told me today that the jerk who is stalking the children's librarian was sitting in the parking lot this morning before any of the staff arrived. he watched each car come in, craning his neck to see who was in the car. he came into the building several minutes before we opened...walked into the darkened building...for a computer ( he said, though he first stopped by the kiddie librarians desk). thankfully, she was not there. the ladies kicked him back out and he left. later, he came back and he told the circladies that he had ideas for characters for a childrens book and he wanted to run it by our librarian. right. one coworker said, "the book is called 'Loser' and he's the main character."

the director now has his name and we are on alert and we will watch him when he comes in. if he approaches our kiddie librarian again, we should tell the director (if she's around) and stay in the kids room until he leaves. i think someone in charge should tell him to please leave our staff alone and that, if he doesn't comply, we will give his name to the police. the guy has a pot website. that should scare him off.

if any other library worker has had trouble with a stalker, i would love to know how it was handled.

in the last city library i worked at, our circhead was being stalked by a homeless man. this guy would also store his clothes and other articles in our copier supply room. he was asked not to do that. he was told that the director would have his things removed by the cops if she found them there again. this guy was really creepy. he was in the library almost everday spring, summer and fall. he developed a fixation on our circhead. he would sit in a chair in the line of sight of her desk and stare at her for hours. he rarely spoke, but when he did, he would ask personal questions. sometimes, he would get angry for no reason and swear and act hostile to her. the police were notified and several of the cops would come by while the creepy guy was in the library and ask him questions and ruffle his feathers. finally, our circhead started making inquiries about a restraining order, though that never panned out. i can't now remember how we got rid of him, but we did. all this occured over a couple of YEARS. yes, she endured this for years! please, don't anyone feel sorry for that guy because he was homeless. he was harrassing our coworker, plain and simple...homeless or not, he had to GO! we have had many homeless men use the library. they were fine people down on their luck. we treated them well...like anyone else. this guy was not a fine person.

Fire the asshole who took away our *DINGS*!

patrons are complaining to us constantly about the new system. they are having a hard time using it at home. the system cancelled many of their holds when it switched over; they cannot determine where they are in the hold queue; it is a difficult system to manage. also, we have found that patrons have checked out books on Horizon and they have disappeared off their cards. some not only have disappeared but have also been kicked out of the system and must be recatalogued. when we print our holds lists and search for books, half of them are not on the shelves yet they are listed as AVAILABLE (and who decided to change the perfecly good CHECKED-IN for AVAILABLE?). we have found that these books are probably on a hold shelf somewhere in CLAN, or on a patrons card.

i feel sorry that many patrons are vexed by the new system but i am tired of being hollered at and i am tired of explaining that we are struggling, too. besides, LIBRARY STAFF did not write the new program. supposedly, actual librarians were consulted. they must have been really stupid librarians or librarians that have no idea how circulation works. it is truly evil. not circulation, Millennium!

one little thing that we lost was the little *ding* that warned us that a message just popped up like 'this book is on hold for...' or a zillion little things. for instance, when we ran through a patrons card in Horizon, if the patron had a message or fines, we would hear a *ding* that would alert us right away. if we were to checkout an audio book to a patron we would hear a *ding* letting us know how many CDs were in the case. when the item was returned, we could check it in and hear the same *ding*, stop and clear the screen. now we must keep our eyes on the screen constanty, or we could checkin and item with a message, miss the message and continue checking in items that are not really getting checked in because that damn message sits on the screen until we are alerted to it and cancel it. we really relied on the audio cues. they made our work faster and more effficient. so, who was the asshole who took away our DINGS?! i want you fired, buddy. FIRED!

sssssnakes on a plane!

Snakes on a Plane, a New Line movie, will be released in August. WOW! i cannot wait to see this movie! a disaster flick-creature feature film; my two favorite genres. granted, i am terribly afraid of snakes but i am not afraid to watch them wriggle on the Big Screen. i learned of this movie while watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann tonight. love that show, too. i wonder if my mom would like to see this movie. hmmm.

if anyone finds any cool links (especially links to home movies from fans) please let me know.

"Motherfuckin' snakes on a motherfuckin' plane!" yeeeeee-haaaaaaaaah!

i need a few days

i might not be writing for a few days; i'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. one more panic attack and i'll fall over the edge.

work was the shits; the more we use the new system, the more we see how retarded it is.

a couple of days ago, i mentioned Claims Returned: well, the lady who insisted she returned the audiobook brought it in today. it was under her car seat which was just where my circhead suggested it might be. did we get an 'i'm sorry'? nooooooooooooooooo!

stalker

the children's librarian has a stalker. he comes in to use the computer and he's a real piece of shit. the first thing he does when he comes in is to go over to the children's room and talk to our librarian. this last time, he cornered her in the back area of the kid's room, where it is sort of dark and not visible from our circdesk and asked her if she could read him a story. like that is original? she told him he would have to be twelve or under. he knows she is married, too, because she has told him several times. after he was brushed off, he used a computer. we have since found out that he sells sporting goods online on a very poorly maintained website and he has another website dedicated to making marijuana legal. so, when he conducts his business over our computers, we wonder just what he is doing. he is the guy we have to tell over and over again that he cannot use a cell phone in the building. he always tries to brush us off and he often tells us he is conducting important business and it's an important call. oh, well then, please keep talking, asshole! now, when he heads over to the kid's room, one of use runs over there, stands nearby pretending to sort books, or we pretend we have an important question to ask our librarian. this seems to muddle him up and he rushes out of the library.

does he really think he can win over our intelligent, sweet and married librarian?! honestly, i wonder what goes through this losers mind! (i probably do not want to know!)

more Millennium

one of the entertaining things about getting a new system is to read all the frantic e-mails from other libraries. people are clearly upset. we can practically hear them crying or yelling through the computer monitor. some have great questions but most are more like: Why can't i do this? or Why can't i find that? one library wanted to know why only 2-letter codes were popping up for ILL delivery addresses (rather than our previous 3-letter codes). this was covered months ago and we all wondered where they have been. so, now they have no idea where to send things which is understandable because the 2-letter codes are very confusing. Still, if their circhead or the ILL staff had a clue, if they attended even one training session, they would've had the chart of codes a long time ago. i can only imagine the chaos they are in 'down' there.

we had all decided, during our last system 'upgrade', that we would not post any e-mails, frantic or otherwise, because we really did not want other libraries to know how truly dumb we could be. we figured we'd let other libraries appear stupid and learn from the answers they received from their questions. finally, those libraries were asked to tone down their 'nastiness' and to have all e-mails approved through data processing. it was really awful. i hope it doesn't deteriorate to those lows again (but it's not looking good).

Millennium

Millennium is up and running, for the most part. we still could not check in holds and bib records are all over the place. they need to be merged. one of our worst patrons, a real bitch, called us 4 times to ask why her holds were not showing up on her card. she was using our public system at home. she was upset and angry and frantic about her lost holds. lady, this is not a life or death situation. you are not going to die because you lost a couple of holds. we told her they would probably show up tomorrow, or are waiting in the ILL delivery that we cannot check in. if they don't show up tomorrow, we will rerequest them. whenever she calls the library she will reply to our "hello, circulation" by reading off her library card number. no hello, no "this is...", just a number. today i had to stop her and ask, "first, what is your question?" and she got all huffy on me.

otherwise, people were very patient and it wasn't the horrible day that i imagined it would be. we all managed very well, though some are more lost than others. i was lucky tonight as i got to work with the circworker who trained us and she knows much more than our circhead and does not get so flustered.

i issued my first 'live' card tonight to an entitled non-mother new to our town. she had her little 2 year old brat with her. she yammered on as i tried to work the system and i finally said that i would be happy to answer all her questions AFTER i finished entering her card. she didn't like that. when i presented her new card to her to sign, i also offered her a blue permanent marker (all our cards are signed with this blue marker). she asked, "oh, can i sign in black ink. i do everything in black." hmmm. she didn't look Goth. i told her, "no. we ask everyone to sign with a blue marker." fucking nutcase. she wanted to plant her kid in the children's room and work on an adult computer in the next room. i told her that her child was too young to be unsupervised. so, while this non-mother was on the computer her kid: tried to engage the reference librarian in a game of hide and seek in the nonfiction stacks; ran out a door and into the foyer where she got her finger stuck in the bubbler; took our toy Mailbox (Blue's Clues) and emptied all our goodies out of it; tripped up several patrons; kept banging on the toddler computer while 2 staff members tried to shut it down (they would tell her not to touch then she would laugh and bang the keyboard). the second time she ran out into the foyer (she had to open our heavy entrance door to get out) i paged, "if you have a young child, she is in the foyer. please come and get her" knowing full well where the mom was. the girl whined and cried an threw things all the while mom is talking to herself while using the computer. i was shelving books and i heard this woman tell the girl that she had a lollipop and to come and get it. i went over to her and told her we did not allow food to be consumed in the library and she replied, "i'm only telling her i have a lollipop so she'll come here. i don't have one." so, of course the kid whined for the lollipop for a half an hour. i hope to God i never see them again. if she does show up again, and more of the same occurs, we were told to get the PIC and they will ask her to leave. i just wish we could revoke library cards for bad behavior...and stupidity.

the saddest part of prison

Maniac Mike and i had a visit tonight. although our visit went well, it was also clouded by a snippet of conversation from the table next to ours. a large (tall and fat) white woman was sitting at that table with her young son. her boyfriend, the child's father, was a small, short black man. the woman looked sour and the child was distracted and fidgety. i think it is too much to ask a kid to remain sitting and quiet for a two and a half hour visit. he did not once misbehave. infact, i didn't hear him speak much or engage in any meaningful way with his father (or his mother for that matter). at one point, the woman spoke loudly to her boyfriend, " you have five other kids. how are you going to take care of mine?!" the man smiled widely and spoke, and the woman replied, "i don't care what you do with those other kids! i only care about my son!" at one point the woman cried. through it all, the boyfriend smiled and the little boy kept his head down, played with his laces and squirmed. i felt bad for him. i often see and hear parents fighting right in front of their children, often fighting about their children and about the father's other women and children. why would a parent bring a child for a visit and do and say these things in front of him (or her)? this man did not look like he could bare the responsibility of being anyone's father. even when the woman cried, he smiled and laughed. he tapped his hands on the table like he was playing the drums. he shook a plastic box of card and at one point, started singing to himself. he told the woman he was hungry and the child said that he was hungry, too. mom got up to get her boyfriend a danish from the vending machine but got her kid nothing. she told the kid that they would eat "after the visit, on the way home". the visit ends at 8:30! the poor kid had to sit through that entire visit hungry! lady, fuck your low-life boyfriend, feed the kid! he has to wait until 8:30 for his supper? unbelievable. these poor kids always suffer. they suffer in a million ways and it really is the saddest part of prison.

yes, we have no computers!

it was a very easy day today even though we were one worker short. seems my circhead had yet another day off (and the director wasn't pleased because she didn't even get 24 hours notice...but she gave it to her anyway. i don't know why my circhead just doesn't ask for every damn thursday off, cause she is never in.) even though the server was upgraded today, we were still able to keep circ up and running thanks to the nice 'server guy'. all our public computers, including catalogs had to be shut down. i cannot tell you what pleasure we took out of telling our farty old regulars that they could not use a computer today. oh, the joy! the two of us were dancing on a cloud. one fart had his card out, jabbed it in my face and said, "computer." and i said, "oh, i AM so sorrrrrry. our computers are down for the day." the look on his face was priceless. i wish i had a camera. another fart, a real jerk who likes to cut in front of our female patrons while they wait in the checkout line, because he cannot wait 6 extra seconds while we finish checking them out, walked up to the desk, laden with manila folders brimming with papers. my cocircworker got him. he didn't even bother to look up...he just thrust his card out and asked for a computer. i could see the smile on my coworkers face, "i'm sorry. our computers are down for the day." SNAP! his head shot up. he had a wild look in his eye, "you mean, ALL DAY?!" still smiling, "yes, all day!" hahahahahahaha! i love it! then the middle school brats marched in. most of them saw the huge out of order signs on the computers and the sign at the desk that read that we were down. but one little fucker, oh and he is a fucker, a fucking brat still tried to get a computer. he is in the library every single day after school sometimes as late as 7 o'clock. he once told another student that he had to stay in the library because his parents did not trust him to be home alone. he's 15. and we know he cannot be trusted. he's a smart ass, little shit and we all hate him. once, we had a woman in the childrens room breast feeding her baby (la leech!). the little shit stood in front of her staring at her. he was finally told to leave. anyway, we knew he saw the signs and the sign on the desk because he stood there and read it in front of us, yet he still asked if the computers were down. then he asked how long they would be down and why they were down. then he asked if they were ALL down. we curtly answered his questions and he went away. five minutes later, he's back and asks if computer 'H' was working. my coworker said, "when we told you before that all the computers were down, we meant that ALL the computers were down!"

the first person to ask for a computer this morning was no better.

lady: can i use a computer?

me: i'm sorry, they're down for the day.

lady (making weird 'oh' motions with her lips): they're down. i seeeeeeee. hmmm. well, i just need to use the internet for a minute.

me: i'm sorry. the computers are not working at all today.

lady: sooooo, i can't get a computer?

me: no. i'm sorry.

lady: well, i won't be long.

me: sorry.

lady: well, what can i do?

me: you can't use our computers today. they will be working tomorrow.

lady: well, can i go to another library?

me: er, sure. our library is the only one affected.

lady: i seeeeeee.

(really, she dragged out her words all the while making weird lip movements.)

lady: well, could i go to Cumberland?

me: yes.

lady: what about North Smithfield?

me: yes.

lady: i guess i could go to Greenville. it's on 44, right?

me: yes, it is.

lady: well, no, maybe Providence. where's Providence?

in walks the director. she hears the question and tells her where the Providence library is.

Lady (to director): the computers are still down, right?

this is where i walk away muttering to myself about the freakin' lunatics that seem to wander in off the streets for no other reason than to mess with my head. finally, the lady says that Providence would be too much trouble so she may go to North Providence. sometimes, i think people are so lonely in life that they pop in just to engage in some form of human contact. it's sooooo saaaaaaaad.

Claims Returned

often times, a patron will believe they returned an item though it is still checked out on their card. when we look for the item on our shelves (thinking we mught have missed the checkin laser) and can't find it, we have the option of 'claims returned'. CR means that neither the patron or the staff can find the item, but we do not want to take the item off the patron's card. we just hope it will show up. eighty percent of the time, the patron has the item and eventually finds and returns it. what kills me is not ONCE has a patron who finds a CR item ever brought the item to our attention. they just sneak it in the bookdrop (in or outside) and hope, i guess, they we don't catch it. but we do catch it. it shows up on their card that the item has been returned. so, when i get them, i always say something like: "oh, i see that the Strawberry Shortcake DVD finally showed up." i pause while the patron half-smiles. "so, did you find it or did we?" then the patron admits they had it all along. this is particularly gratifying when the patron was an asshole that insisted they would never 'steal' an item and they don't have it, blah blah, blah.

today, we had a lady insist she returned an audiobook, but it was still on her card. we had already looked for the item, but we looked again. couldn't find it so we offered her CR. she was cool with it and she was a regular, so we took her word and end of story, right? nope. she had to go on and on about the day she returned the item. "it was March 1st and i made a special trip to the library that day JUST to return that CD book. the time was 2:26 and 52 seconds, the weather was partly cloudy and you were wearing a pink blouse and black pants." (ok, i made the last bit up.) she then went on about how she listened to it on her trip and she finished with it and returned it on the afternoon of March 1st. now, i cannot for the life of me remember what i was doing March 1st. i don't remember what i did any part of the day, let alone what i returned or borrowed that day...and i work in the library. so, i start to disbelieve her...she HAS the damn audio, i can feel it! and what's this bullshit about a special trip to the library? she is in the place every week, often a couple times a week and we are not in, oh, Manhattan! Jesus H Christ!

i am so tired of all the stories. stories to get out of paying fines, stories to get out of paying for lost items and stories so that they do not have to admit they might be WRONG! do these people have a story for everything? is every little thing a major production? how do they get through their days? it really shouldn't be so difficult.

may i have your CARD!

several times a day, a patron will bring up items to be checked out. they will place them nicely on the desk and then...just stand there. sometimes, they say 'hi' and i'll say 'hi' back. they just stand there. so, after a beat, i ask them for their library card and they gasp and say something along the lines of, "oh, yes, you need my card." yep, i do. i'm sure i have moaned about this before, but it was particularly bad night for this. i MUST know, do these people stand at the grocery checkout and must be prompted by the cashier to cough up the dough?

then i had a nasty, large, bully of a woman come into the library tonight and demand a computer with a color printer. actually, first she asked for a 'computer color copier' and i had to figure out if she meant a color copier or a color printer. i told her that our two computers that have a color printer attached were being used by patrons and they had some time to go. she said, "i just need it for 2 minutes!" i told her i understood, but patrons were using the computers, they were guaranteed an hour and i would not bother them. she said, "i will go ask them. it's just 2 minutes! i need my paper for class! i have class!" then she asked me what i meant by 'patron'. i answered, "PEOPLE. people were using the two computers with a color printer!" she was so pushy and nasty and belligerent. i told her that she will NOT bother my patrons and she continued to yell that she needed papers for her class. finally, i sent her to reference and before she got there, i got ahold of the reference librarian and told her this lady was nasty and i know she heard me. i also asked the reference librarian to tell the lady there was a 50 cent per page charge for color copies and the woman yelled, "i will pay 10 DOLLARs! just give me my papers! i need them for Class tonight, right now!" i don't know how she got her papers, but she paid my cocircworker for them because she did not want to talk to me again. YAY! she really did think nothing of interrupting another patron, ask them to stop what they were working on (one kid was working on a school paper), ask them to get up and let her sit her fat ass down to do her own work. another patron who just checked on to a computer with no color printer offered to wait so she could use his computer (a nice young man), but it just made things worse becasue i had to tell the bully that that computer had only a black and white printer and she didn't BELIEVE me. like, i was lying. oh dear God, i hate people! why did you make so many nasty ones? (and why do the frequent libraries?)

i also had another woman who wanted to pick up a book that her friend put on hold. our policy is, if the person who the hold is for cannot make it in, they must call us to let us know who will pick it up. before my time, we had a very bad experience with a husband and wife...one picked up a book for the other which the other did not want his or her spouse to see. i heard that the fallout was very bad and the town got involved. so, we try to be strict(er) about this. anyway, the woman wanted to call her friend on her cell phone and have me use her phone to talk to her friend. i DO NOT want anyone's nasty, germ infested cell phone anywhere near my face, so i gave her the library # and asked her friend to call me. argh! it is never easy. then, the same woman returned a DVD with no DVD in the DVD case and i, luckily, caught her as she was leaving to give her the case back so she could collect the DVD. she asked, "so, this means i have to come back?" duh, yeah, unless you want to pay for the DVD outright. so, she came back before we closed. she gave me the complete DVD set and picked out two more DVDs and stepped up to the counter. she didn't have her card. it was in the car. so, since i knew her name from earlier, i just looked her up and checked her out rather than have her go to her car. this is another thing about cards i don't understand. if you know you are going to the library, if it is a planned trip, why do these people not make sure they have their cards on them? it's not that hard, is it?

we had a man come in to search our lost and found for his winter jacket that he lost "a couple of weeks ago." we had another man leave a printed (out) copy of his completed tax return (with every bit of personal info) in one of our printers. we had another kid leave his completed book report in the printer. the printers are right next to the computer, too. we could not reach either of them tonight. other than that, the night wasn't too bad, but i am getting increasingly worried about the switch. i really dread that.

Holy Rollers

if you need to be told what and who to pray for, you might want to check out this site. personally, i pray that we won't vote any more right-wing, fundamentalist nutcases into the White House.

www.presidentialprayerteam.com

yes, we live at the library

we had a cute little boy, who is a regular patron, visit us today. my cocircworker was checking him out when she said to him, "i saw you at the supermarket the other day." the boy looked a little puzzled and said, "you were at the supermarket? how can you be at the supermarket when you were HERE, at the liberry??" my cocircworker replied, "sometimes they let us go shopping." this appeased him. yes, we live at the library 24/7 and we get day passes to do our grocery shopping. sometimes, we even get a nap in the bookdrop bin.

one thing that has always puzzled me...why do some people come to the library every single day just to read one newspaper. we have an old creep who arrrives just after we open every day to read the Providence Journal. every single morning. if it's 9:01 and we haven't got the paper out yet, he comes to the desk and asks where it is. i make him wait until all the computers are up (they usually are but sometimes we are short staffed. tech is supposed to handle the papers, but if they are not in, we process the papers. also, technically, we only get paid from 9am, though we often...like every day...start opening up at 8:45 or 8:50. off the clock.) it's not like this guy is hurting for cash, either. hell, he can spend the gas money to come to the library every day to read a 50 cent newspaper. when it's 9:30, when the director finally gets her ass to work, not that she ever does any work, the man will walk right into her office, no knock or anything. i guess they are 'friends' which really creeps me out. she has a lot of old male friends. it's so gross. my director is younger than i am by a couple of years, but she has elderly male acquaintances.

another thing that pisses me off...everyone moans about our director. she's a BOSS, not a director. she's a micromanager that cannot keep her own office in order. she literally has paper dispersed on every surface and on the floor. there is food buried under mounds of old papers, mounds of paper and magazines on the two chairs in her office. it's embarrassing. anyway, this morning, two coworkers moaned about having to set up the directors one and only program. but then, come 10:30, these same people rush into the breakroom with her to have their break. WTF? of course, taking a break with the boss means you can stretch your 15 minute break to 30 minutes, so i guess there is an advantage. meanwhile, little circworkers cannot take our breaks because the staff room is full, no chairs or table space and no peace and quiet. so, we wait. same thing with lunch, only worse, because now we cannot use the microwave because everyone else is using it. yet, circstaff must finish lunches before 2pm or our circhead gets reamed by our boss who hogs the break room with the very same people who claim they do not even want to be near her. GRRRRR!

Fighting in the visiting room

well, not actual fist fighting, just a really loud bitch yelling, kicking and slapping her man. i could only hear her when she hollered, so i don't know what the fight was about but there were an awful lot of fuck you's coming out of her mouth. several times, she'd kick the guy under the table. she slapped his hands and arms and threw wadded up Hershey Kiss wrappers at him. there was an awful lot of finger pointing and slapping motions. and boy, could she bitch. a solid hour of nonstop bitchery. wow. now, this is somewhat unfair as the visitor really has all the power during a visit. the guy can't do anything without risking big trouble. so, he just sat there and took it. maybe he deserved it and maybe not, but she was nasty. Maniac Mike said that if i were to go nuts and start screaming, he would calmy ask me to leave and stand up...which ends the visit. once the inmate stands up, the visit is over. i can't think why i would scream at him, though.
there are a set of brothers who committed their sex crime TOGETHER and they are housed together (which is damn stupid). usually, their mom comes to see them and they visit with her, together. tonight, the long-haired brother got a visit from a woman that we have never seen before. they must have known each other well, because the kissed like a couple of leeches sucking off each other. and the poor woman was damn DAMN unattractive. she looked like a male impersonater. weird. then the creeps brother came out and had a visit with a couple we had never seen before. there were a lot of people in the visiting room that we had never seen before and the room hasn't been so full since Christmas. it was a really odd night.
MM spent a good deal of it telling me about last nights South Park and one of his favorite episodes with Timmy and his Turkey Gobbles. and he ate more Pop Tarts. if i never see another Pop Tart, it would be too soon.

Martha please, no more animals!

Martha Stewart, would you please stop featuring animals on your show! Maniac Mike saw an Irish Wolfhound on Martha this morning and now he wants one. i'll admit, it seems like a great dog, loving and friendly, and lazy at times. they are the tallest dogs in the world, HUGE really. they would easily take up most of a full size mattress. MM seems to think that an Irish Wolfhound would keep the coyotes from our (imaginary) goats and chickens but we both agree that any dogs we might have would not be left outside at night. he would live in the house, with us, always. besides, the goats and chickens would have a barn, right? and a fence around it.

the terrible downside would be that they are incredibly short lived. they are lucky to live ten years and the can be rife with health problems. it is hard to lose any pet, but especially hard when they die so young, like Queequeg. today would be his eighth birthday. he was a Polish-Irish-Italian American prairie dog. Polish because our family is Polish, Irish because he was born on St Patrick's Day and Italian because he loved my mother's lasagne. he would go into a kind of happy trance while eating it. then, when he was done, he would lift up and stretch out his little fingers so his auntie cold wash them for him. he did not like to be dirty.

staff training part 2

we had another morning of staff training yesterday. it was much more streamlined than the demonstration our circhead gave us monday. my cocircworker, who trained us thursday, actually had a nifty Power Point show and handouts! i still think the new system will drive us all to drink and possibly to an early grave. it is that terrible. awful. one of our patrons told us that the ladies in Cumberland were bitching and moaning about it. i cannot blame them. i bitch and moan about Millennium too, but i try not to in front of the patrons. this will probably change.

the best think about training in the morning was all the FOOD we brought in: bagels and homemade scallion cream cheese, walnut coffee cake, cookies and homemade lemon-honey muffins! OINK OINK

Waiting

WAITING

i enjoyed this movie. the party scenes weren't funny at all, but once the film moved into Shenaniganz, it picked up. i liked most of the cast though the guy who played the non-stop talker, Monty was annoying. he reminded me of an old boyfriend who kind of looked like him and talked like him. the Penis Game was gross. it was a game played among the guys. one guy would expose his penis, in any number of poses, and try to get another guy to look at it. if the other guy did look, the exposer got to kick the looker in the ass and call him a 'fag'. stupid.

don't bother with the special features. they are boring and the director is a dickhead and likes to wear a dickhead director's beret.

tri-cycle

had a visit today. had a little 'discussion' with another elderly woman with a fancy-smancy three wheeled walker with handbrakes and a basket, painted teal. i was a little late. as i walked by the Tricycle Lady, she was just getting out of her car parked in the handicapped spot. i walked from 3 rows away, but she must have thought i just got out of huge van also parked in a handicapped spot. she said, "did you put your handicapped sign up. i don't see it." er, "that's not my van", i replied and pointed. "because they may tow you if they can't see your sign." um, "that's NOT my car." i walk into the visiting check-in area and walk right up to the desk, because i'm late and there is no one else in line. Tricycle Lady rolls in behind me, "i worry sometimes that they won't see my sign and tow my car." i said, "they won't tow you." "do you have a handicapped sign on you license plate? they may not see that either." now i am a tad bit annoyed and told her a little too snippishly, "i am parked three rows back and i DO NOT have a handicapped sign!" then i totally ignored her. i told Maniac Mike what happened and he proceeded to tell me that her husband was a child molester and he overheard a conversation in the pill line last week. there is a One-Legged child molester in a wheelchair. he gets visits so i know who he is. MM says he is always telling lame jokes and all his child molester buddies think he's hilarious. seems Tricycle Lady's husband was pushing the One-Leggedf fucker one night and they were in the pill line in front of MM. they were talking about the fact that they will not be registered as sex offenders in RI because of the law that states that they would not have to register if they committed their crimes before 1992. MM said that they were gleeful and clearly happy about this. MM was disgusted. RI just coddles sex offenders, we have one person registered as a sex offender in the whole state and i don't even know how to find that information. one person. there are hundreds in prison. baby rapers, sicko perverts and violent rapists. what the fuck is wrong with this state?

so, i am not sorry i was snippy with the Tricycle Lady. if you support a child rapist, you are just as guilty.

MM also told me of the day the One Legged freak asked MM to push him back to the mod after a visit. he said, "i don't help child molesters" and he walked away while the One-Legger's mouth gaped.

high blood pressure

tuesday, my blood pressure was a little high. that's unusual for me. it is usually low. this would have nothing to do with the fact that we have two staff training days this week, we will be using a new system at the end of the month, our current system is dying everyday night around the delivery and the busiest time of the day or that we have no contract inspite of what a town administrator was quoted as saying in the paper. our director is also pushing for us to work 35 hours a week instead of 32...it has been that way since time immemorial. i bet she will push for that, but then we would push for more sick time and persoanl time and she won't give us that. three more hours a week does not seem like much, but if i take my three weeks of vacation, that would be nine extra hour used for vacation time.

i think it should be written in the contract that she should get off her ass and actually do some work. and the circ staff are NOT her secretaries. she has one. i swear, if she tells me to 'take a message' one more time because she does not want to talk to somebody (vendors, mostly) i will throw the phone at her.

kids and non-parents

wednesdays are Book Buddies days. little kids come in to have bigger kids read to them from 4pm to 5pm. it is complete pandamonium. i don't know how anyone can hear anyone else. the kids run around like a bunch of monkeys and the parents are no better. does anyone ever use their library voice anymore? the trouble is the children's room is right next to the circ desk. there is a half wall partition and that's it. we can see and hear everything that goes on in the childrens room. we could see our poor, abused fill-in childrens librarian rolling her black rimmed, weary eyes at us and we could only give her our sympathy. she does not hold this program. the teen advisor does. oh, how we would all love to have a closed and separate childrens room. we would gladly give our pound of flesh apiece for it.

then, at 6pm, we had yet another childrens program in the meeting room. the meeting room and our staff break room are separated by a door. we can hear everything that goes on in the meeting room. i ate my dinner to the sounds of a really lame, kiddie dinosaur movie. it was so freakin' loud, i could not hear myself chew. then the movie ended and the shrieking began. why must kids SHRIEK! we also had three kids in the childrens room playing a computer learning game. they were so loud, they could be heard everywhere in the library. they were told to please use their library voices (ie: shut up!) three times, right infront of their equally loud and gabby and oblivious non-mothers. AAARGH!

and, of course, we had the middle school teens. they weren't so bad today.

if we had a director who was not afraid to direct, we would not have teens and kids running around the library, screaming. we would not have 2, 3, 4 year old kids wandering (and screaming) all around the library because their non-parent was using the computer in the main library, not paying any mind to their kid. the other day we had two little kids, could not have been over 4 years old, walking around the childrens area, wimpering. the teen advisor asked them where their mom or dad was and they said, "Rachel!! waaaaaah!" seems their twent-something babysitter was using the computer as far away from them as she could get. when the teen advisor told her the kids could not be left on their own, she huffed and gave us all the stink-eye. i would have LOVED to have called her employer and ratted her out. i would have LOVED that!

i am also so sick of the parents who drop their tiny kids off in the kids room and then go off into the library, looking for books and videos without a clue as to what their kids are doing or who might be eyeing them (for nefarious reasons). do they think we will mind their kids? do we look like a babysitting service? do they WANT theirr kids to be hurt or kidnapped? what is wrong with these parents??? i am dumbfounded by thier behavior. dumbfounded. i want to pull every one of them aside and tell them about all the child molestors in prison and how easy it is to have a child go missing. i want to scare the shit out of them.

but i can't. i really don't like kids or babies but if any child gets hurt while i'm on duty, i will feel awful and guilty for not having ESP and eyes in the back of my head to watch all these kids. and you know the parent will blame us anyway.

all you mommies...you better not let me catch you typing in your mommie blog while your teeny tiny child is loose in the library. you just better NOT!

Hinoserm: contact your mom.

i haven't heard from Hinoserm in a long time and it would be really nice if he gave me a call provided he fixed his cell phone. he sat on it and broke something off. or something. or email me. i just want to know if you are alright.

love,

mom

full moon tuesday

nothing of any consequence happened today inspite of the full moon. apparently, the morning crew got all the crazies. we had an easy night. even the stinky couple smelled less stinky than usual.

i forgot i had a visit with the doctor today, so good thing the receptionist called me last night to remind me. so, this morning i had to call work to let the director know. but the director was taking a phone call, so i spoke with the assistant director. she said she would tell the director. she forgot. that would explain why the director had no clue what i was talking about when i thanked her for letting me keep my appointment. i really do like this doctor...Waseem Khan, a rheumatologist at Landmark (Fogarty). he treats me for my fibro and for the erythromelalgia. he was able to get my pain under control and he has no problem giving me pain meds as long as i see him regularly. he always has some library question for me, too as he does visit our library occasionally. this time, he wanted to know about requesting books from Providence library. if you live in northern RI and need a good rheumatologist or a good psychiatrist, i can give you a couple of phone numbers. it is so hard to get a good doctor now-a-days.

currently reading

a family abuction tale. the husband and wife are married to extraterrestrials that frequently abduct them and their 3 kids. this couple coupled with their alien spouses to produce 10 more halfbreed kids. a true story. ahem.

staff training part 1

we had staff training today. we are getting a new system...the second in two years. i just started learning the shortcuts to this current system and now they want to teach this old dog a new damn trick! the new system is HORRIBLE! it is confusing and you have to close every single window after every single use. you cannot be in the same record at the same time...ANYWHERE in RI. so, if some circclerk in Providence leaves a patron's record open, we cannot also use that record. we had this problem in our oldest system (DYNIX) and it was something we fixed with the Horizon (current) system. i think we are going live with Millenium on the 27th but only to checkout. we will not be able to checkin, place holds or anything else for TWO WHOLE DAYS! i have stocked up on my tranquilizers, Prevacid and Tylenol. i will start drinking on the 25th so i will be totally sloshed by the 27th. i wouldn't know what i was doing sober, so why NOT drink? most of us are worried but resolute. we are circ, we can do anything! but patrons beware: we WILL take our frustrations out on YOU. heheheheheheheheheheheheh!

so, we were closed from 9 unti 11:30 this morning. we had this info in all the local papers, posted all over the library, on our board outside, on the IN and OUT side of our front doors and we printed out little slips of paper, bookmark size, that we slipped in the items patrons checked out for over two weeks. plus, we told everyone who did checkout. we told patrons who took out DVD's that they could not go in the bookdrop and we would be charging fines for that day...we were only closed 2 and a half hours after all. well, at 11:30 and 10 seconds i got my first whiney patron. "my daughter is sick. she was here earlier and you were closed. she put her DVDs in the bookdrop. will she be (whine) FINED?" er, YES! "but she's (whine) SICK!" too sick to read the flyers posted everywhere but on our foreheads. YES, YES, YES, if you put DVDs in the bookdrop whether you are sick or not, we will charge you a fine! so, what did i do? i didn't charge a fine on any freakin' DVD because we all figured it would just lead to a big, fat headache later on. sigh.

Peter Pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew is getting married. yes, way! we have a Peter Pettigrew look-a-like patron. he's small, round, with weird facial hair, horrible bad breath and a rat-like appearence. the secretary was kidding him about his nearing wedding date. all i could think was "eeeewwww". i am dying to know what his future bride looks like. PP is never rude, always pleasant but he looks so much like a character. not quite human. he is a daily computer user, so he has no computer. or he has a computer but does not want wifey to see what he's doing or he takes very long lunch breaks at all times of the day. y'know, this is petty, but i wouldn't marry a guy who couldn't afford his own computer. nope.

currently burning

Storm Watch Yankee Candle

Big Ass gives us 'flowers'

Mr Big Ass gave the ladies at circ flowers today for being so nice and helpful. no, not real flowers. tissue paper flowers. flowers he made himself with his big, grungy, bandaid ridden hands. at first, we thought they were made out of toilet paper. shiver. they were just crepe paper, scrunched into a semi-floral shape, wrapped with green florist tape on silver wire stems. bizarre. men are so weird. big, stinky ass men are even weirder. like this would be enough to thank us for his many visits, stinking up the computer chairs (cloth..bad idea!), blowing his foul breath in our faces, flashing his brown spotted and torn underwear and generally making us gag. no, it is nowhere near enough. but atleast he didn't BAKE us anything.

oh, God. i just made myself puke.

will the real Colin please stand up!

here's Colin Firth. he ain't no Josh! what the tech ladies see in him...well, i cannot see it. they swoon and tell me he is sooo romantic. blech. who needs romance. what ever happened to a quick roll in the hay? he just does not look rollable.

apology accepted

the kid who caused such a stink over the computers and was banned for life came in today and personally apologized to the circworker who took the brunt of his tantrum and the director. wow. he's like 14 and it must've been really hard for him to do that. he admitted he was wrong, that he had a temper and should not have sassed or threw his backpack. so, the director has reinstated his card and has told him if there are no more problems, all will be forgiven. i give the kid major kudos. he was sincere.

banned for life!

yesterday, we banned two kids from the computers. one was banned 'for life' (which means 'until his mommy comes in and complains about it'. good. we NEED to speak to his mommy.) he had 2 previous bans, the third is for good. then he had a tantrum and threw his backpack across the room. i would have called the police but the director is such a wuss. the second kid got kicked off for 2 weeks for game-playing. this was his second banning.

had a kid i've never seen before come in to the library after school. he asked if he could use the phone for 10 minutes. 10 minutes?! he started to tell me what was wrong...he had a project due at school (which is right across the parking lot) and he needed to talk....that's when i cut him off. "no, sorry. you must use the phone at the school." he protested that he didn't have a quarter. "the school will give you a quarter". he huffed and went away. who would think that we would let anyone use the phone for ten minutes? please!

wrong Colin

i had the wrong Colin. it was not Collin Farrell that tech is in love with, but Colin Firth. still, don't care for either. as soon as i can get Blogger to load pictures (what's up with that?), i'll post his pic here.

nothin' special

it was a Nothin' Special kind of day. work was busy. had a long visit. spent most of it talking about South Park. Maniac Mike filled me in on what happened during the Oscars. i tried not to yawn. i just don't find the Oscars the least little bit interesting. i am glad March of the Penguins won for best documentary, though. we didn't make fun of anybody as there were a lot of normal folk there today. White Boot Lady bought herself a new pair of Nikes. wow! i hope she has thrown those godawful white boots away. i got home around 9pm, took my shower and now i am ready to read before i go to bed. i'm drinking a Watermelon Soda from Panera Bread. i bought it saturday, dropped it and decided it would be best to wait before opening it. forgot about it yesterday and just found it again tonight. i opened it and the damned thing exploded. you would think it would have settled by now. i also have some banana flavored cotton candy, so i'll munch on that while i read. i'm burning a Yankee Candle Storm Watch votive. YC will stop selling unwrapped votives. that's usually what i buy. i like the unwrapped ones. they are bigger and cheaper. they also no longer have chocolate candles. those were good to light for healing animals. brown is the color to use and chocolate is a positive scent. oh well, nothing good ever lasts. sigh.

question

do you prefer Ben & Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs?

*hic*Haagen-Dazs*hic*

i was sitting around eating the last fourth of a pint of Haagen-Dazs Pineapple Coconut ice cream, thinking about how good it is and how much it tastes like a Pina Colada when i read the ingredients:
"Cream, Skim Milk, Sugar, Pineapple, Egg Yolks, Natural Coconut Flavor, Natural Flavor, Rum."

that's right. RUM. so, it was a pina colada i was eating after all. and i feel so warm and toasty and *hic* a little swimmy. where's that lampshade?

PS: Maniac Mike thinks pineapple-coconut ice cream is gross. he is so weird sometimes.

Broccolli home again

Broccolli was sent home today without any real diagnosis. an ecocardiogram is recommended and he does need a dental cleaning but he can't be put under anasthesia until heart problems are ruled out. once he got home, he ate like he was starving and licked his little toy "babies". he had a whole lot of water, too. he was not happy about the IV bandage, but we had to wait two hours until removing it. my sister went out ot get him some deli ham and catfood. i haven't got another emergency call since i've been home, so i guess he has settled down. i think i did see him twitch a few times, but no one else really saw it but me.

i am at the tail end of a migraine so i think i will lay down for an hour or so, then i hope to read some. i am 100 pages into Narcissus In Chains now. Micah has been introduced and Richard is being as asshole. i really do not like Richard. i may also have some coconut/pineapple ice cream but i really want some cotton candy.

cow abduction site

check this out...http://www.cowabduction.com/

Broccolli is sick

today, i had to rush my mom's cat Broccolli to the vet. the vet does not know for sure what is wrong with him. low blood pressure but no heart problem, no diabetes, no renal failure, no infection, no liver disease. they think he is having a neurological problem, possibly a stroke. so, he is overnighting at the emergency hospital with an IV in ICU. he just collapsed, kind of, today while i was at my mom's house. he just looked really, really tired and could not move well. he was alert and knew where he was and who we were, but he was very lethargic. hopefully, the vet will know more tomorrow and hopefully he will be treated and feeling better. he is around 19 years old. we don't know for sure because he was adopted. my mom has had him for 10 years now. we all hope he will be alright! we are saying kitty prayers for him!

Lent and work candy

Forty days of hell. i have not had a good Lent for a few years now. i always "give in". this year, i have given up coffee. again. last year, i think i made it 22 days before i gave in. i used to be so good during Lent when i was younger. i would give up chocolate and not take one lousy bite of anything with any kind of chocolate in it. then, as i got older, i would give up chocolate with exemptions. brownies didn't count. hot chocoalte didn't count. if i felt sick, i could have chocolate. on Sunday, i could have chocolate. full moon? chocolate. if the day ended in Y...chocolate!

so, once again, i give up coffee. it's the second biggest temptation at work. the first is candy of all sorts. i will not give up work candy. i rarely eat it at home but i will happily make a pig of myself at work.

i also promised not to eat meat on fridays. well, guess what happened today? i went to the market and bought some shrimp for supper tonight...today being friday. then i totally forgot i bought shrimp, totally forgot it was friday and stopped at Wendy's for chicken nuggets. grrrrrrr. yes, i ate the damn nuggets! i didn't want to waste them. right. that's what i tell myself.

WORK CANDY

WORK CANDY is not like any candy i would buy for myself (alone). for instance, i would not buy a 2 pound bag of gummy bears for myself, but i buy them for work. ditto for the mega box of Swedish Fish, the Whitman's box of chocolate, the 5 pound box of Twizzlers, and the bags and bags of assorted Hershey and Nestle Chocolates, the packs and packs of Doublemint and Wintermint gum, the Altoids (Ginger, Wintergreen and Peppermint) and any left over on-sale holiday candy, especially if it's chocolate. WORK CANDY can be found in several places, the biggest stash being behind the circ desk. we have a huge crate of it under the third computer, right under the applications and beside the bandaids and pills. then there is the MegaBowl on the secretaries desk. tech services has a little canning glass jar of (mostly good) chocolates and the computer librarian has a small container on her desk. there is the staff table, too. i don't know what reference has but i'm sure they have a small stash of their own. when children's room staff want candy, they must come to circ and bow down to us, the Candy Goddesses. there can never be too much candy! i am looking forward to the day after Easter...all that marked down half-priced candy! just like Halloween. after Halloween, we all brought in our leftover candy and i swear, when we pooled it, we had a mound almost a foot tall. and we ate every last bit of it! *BURP*

new Fort

the new Fortean Times is the bookstores now. included are Gothic Nightmares: Britain's art heritage of horror, new news of the Malaysian Yeti, Re-engineering the Lost Ark of the Covenant, Italy's satanic ritual killers and the usual fortean (cool) stuff. it's an expensive mag, but it's all glossy and you cannot find anything like it anywhere. i love the book reviews, Strange Deaths, Simulcra Corner, letters, and the Strange Days section at the front. it is the only magazine i read cover to cover, not missing a bit of it. i even read the ads. $10.

new Laurell K Hamilton novel

LKH has a new novel out...Micah. Anita goes off to Philly to raise a dead witness for the feds. Micah goes along. i have not yet 'met' Micah. i thing he makes his first appearance in Narcissus in Chains...the 10th novel. Micah is a wereleoapard and King of his pard. apparently, he and Anita do the wild thing in Narcissus, according to Maniac Mike. she has been such a PRUDE in all these books and MM says she finally sluts it up in Narcissus. FINALLY!

collin vs josh

okay ladies...we have a contest. several of the ladies at my library LOVE Collin Farrell. he is plastered on the door of tech services where he is ooohhhed and aaaahhed over. blech!

scroll down to Josh Holloway...now that is a hunkarooni.

so, who do you prefer...Collin or Josh?

i really want to know.

kitty cat dance video

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kittycat.php

time for new undies!

this is the last one. i can take no more!

triple dipple sigh

helpless! i am helpless!

double sigh

oh God, please help me!

sigh

yum yum yum

several hunky pics of Josh Holloway

oooo-laaa-laaaa!

weird

try this weird website for weird pics.

http://www.weird-websites.com/WeirdPics.htm

oh, shit!

just a quick question. why do some people smell like shit? i don't mean that they have BO or other weird smells...a lot of other people have that. but some people smell like real shit. crap. doodoo. not kids in diapers...we have a lot of that, too. but older kids and grown adults. like tonight, we had a girl, maybe 12, come into the library to do some work. she smelled like warm shit. it was gross! we have two patrons with such foul breath that also smells just like shit. just their breath...like they ate shit for breakfast or something. so bad, that i must step way back from the desk when they speak. gross. i'd estimate that 4 or 5 people a week (not a high number, really) come in reeking of shit. this just puzzles me. do they not wipe? do they rub it on themselves? what? sheesh people, buy some Charmin!

Sigmund

here's a pic of Sigmund! he's a tiny one...maybe 4 or 5 inches tall at most. and his little shirt comes off.

Obsidian Butterfly

Obsidian Butterfly is the 9th book in the Laurell K Hamilton Anita Black Vampire Hunter series and it is the best so far. if you have never read any of her books, you can try this one and not be too lost. in this book, she goes to work with Edward to solve a mutilation murders case in New Mexico. i am 3/4's of the way through and i have already figured out what the murderer is only because i have some small knowledge of Meso American religion. but the book is fascinating and i like how she approaches the subject. i highly recommend this book for a good, action packed, quick read. and Edward...er...Ted...no...Edward is soooo cool. (Maniac Mike was right. he is a great character!)

Hino and i actually got to meet Laurell K Hamilton during her book tour, in an old church in Boston. i had not read any of her books back then, but went because she is MM's favorite author and i wanted to get some books signed and a photo with her to give to him. she was VERY gracious. the crowd asked great questions and she happily answered them. her husband was a sweetheart, too. i told LKH that she was my husbands favorite author but couldn't make it because he was in prison. she said prisoners were great fans and generally wrote thoughtful, kind letters. apparently, she has quite a male following for a female writer with a lead female character.

our penguin fetish started when MM sent me a little Sigmund penguin...a stuffed toy that Anita sleeps with when she is not bonking vampires and werewolves. he was my first penguin. i have about 200 different penguin items now that range from plushies to silver charms to Christmas ornaments to books and blown glass, given to me by MM, Hino, my sister and family, Queequeg, MM's mom and friends.

Hino named my 2 foot tall plastic penguin CP after Corporation Penguin in a Beatles song. all my stuffed ones have names, too. Ishmael, Billy Budd, Typee, Fiesta, etc. (we started with the Melville theme first because i had a prairie dog named Queequeg. ) i have so many, that i have to write the names on the tags so i don't forget them.

MM would love to have a pair of real live penguins one day and so would i, but i don't think that would be possible. but we think about it and it makes us happy. we both were able to see March of the Penguins and we both cried a little and laughed a lot. PENGUINS RULE! they are beautiful, kind, loving animals and we cannot look at any penguin without smiling. great antidepressants!

HV reminded me...

Happy Villan reminded me of one funny story that happened at the city library where i used to work. a cocircworker and i were behind the desk while our circhead was talking to a patron about the comuter usage in the Computer Room. she was vey pleasant and helpful. apparently, the gentleman could not get the site he wanted to load. our circhead gave him some info and then said, "if you can't get it up, i'll come over and help you." well we busted out laughing right then and their and both my circhead and the patron thought we were nuts. we ended up running to the back room to calm down. when we got back, red faced and teary-eyed, we repeated what our circhead said back to her and the look on her face when she realized what she said was pricelass. god, the things we say when we don't realize what we are saying!